ARE WE REALLY DIFFERENT?

With all the political turmoil that has been going on in the Middle East recently, I started thinking of all the countries I had been to in my life - many countries multiple times as it was during the course of my working career. It was one aspect that I enjoyed thoroughly. I loved travelling and meeting people of different cultures, learning about their customs, and most of all, enjoying their local food! I truly appreciated their hospitality and understanding their own aspirations for their country, their families and for themselves. One thing has been ingrained deeply in me -most human beings are good, kind, and decent people! Unfortunately, quite often, it is the few "bad experiences" that we tend to remember. 

Over a year ago, I decided that every day I would wake up and pray - "God, I cannot do big things but what I can give You is joy - so help me to be joyful today!" Initially, I repeated this in my heart many times a day. Now, I do so in the mornings and if I feel that I am about to become irritable or annoyed. All it takes is this one simple line to make me look at myself first - how I will react and how I choose to live my life.

The amazing thing is despite whatever personal struggles and difficulties that I have had to face, I have truly felt a deeper sense of calmness and peace within me. I have learnt to look at others and realize there is good in all of us. As I focus on the positive qualities of each person, my irritation and feelings of dislike have reduced significantly!

Having friends of different races, religions and culture is one of the greatest gifts I treasure in my life. It is one of the most memorable experiences I have of my childhood in Malaysia. It has truly broadened my life perspective knowing them, living abroad and visiting different countries. It makes me realize what a great blessing I have had in my life. All of us want to live in peace and harmony; we want the best for our families; we try our best to do good and we enjoy having joyful moments with those we love and care for! I have never found anyone from any part of the world who did not have some goodness in them. Admittedly, at times,the goodness was not directed at me unfortunately but there was still goodness in that person!

In fact in my family, all my five brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law are of different nationalities. It was not something I had consciously thought about until a number of guests mentioned it to my happy parents  at one of my sister's wedding! The multiculturism in my own family is a joy - what's more I have just wonderful nephews and nieces! 

So as I deeply pondered about all the people I have known in many parts of the world, I do know the answer to the question - "Are we really different?" The answer is an emphatic "NO"! We are all children of God - each of us have a right to live in this world in peace and harmony and to have the freedom in practicing our faith.

We should not let tyranny, extremism of any kind, bigotry and hatred to overwhelm our human spirit to live a blessed life! The words from the song "Ebony and Ivory" by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney always soothes me when I listen to it especially the following verse:

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord, why dont we?
We all know that people are the same where ever we go
There is good and bad in everyone,
We learn to live, we learn to give each other
what we need to survive together alive

Well, I am now going to sit back and let the music video of "Ebony and Ivory" bring back happy memories of all the people I have known and have made me a better person today! 

THIS VALENTINE"S DAY - LET US BE THE WORLD!

I have never been one who really got caught up with Valentine’s Day. I always like spontaneous little acts of love throughout the year -  that just seems more meaningful somehow.

Here in the retreat centre, I am not bombarded by the commercialism of Valentine’s Day that I would otherwise be subjected to mercilessly – which is a relief!  Now, I do not mean to come across as Ms. Scrooge because if Valentine’s Day makes people show that they love and care for others, well, then it is great! Better one day in the year than none at all…

For me 14 February will always be special because that is the day I first stepped foot into Divine Retreat Centre 13 years ago to attend a retreat– and my life has never been the same since! I still feel I received a Gift of Love from God to finally understand what I needed to prioritize and treasure in my life.

Besides giving gifts and having an expensive romantic dinner out, let us also think of doing an act of love to someone less fortunate – for whom just being able to survive another day safely is a great achievement.

I came across the remake of the “We Are The World” music video that was remixed in 2010 for Haiti. This Michael Jackson / Lionel Richie song is truly touching and I would like to believe it reflects the kind of person Michael Jackson was in his heart.

Let us not be stingy with our love and only show it one day of the year or to only shower it on those we know and care about. Let us make each day a Day of Love for someone –  even if it is stranger passing through a few moments in our life. Most of all, let us look beyond our comfortable lives and take a good hard look at our world and decide to be agents of change – you and I! Let our world be one powered by love and not hate or fear.

After all, we are the world! Let us all share our love  - it is something  our hearts will never run out of. Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Love is eternal”

(1 Corinthians 13:8)

LIVING OUR CALL – NEVER GIVE UP!

In the past year, for some reason, many people have asked me to share how it is one can be sure of one’s mission in life. I was asked to share my personal experience. I had never openly discussed why I chose to serve fulltime as a volunteer in India. Yet, in 2010, it somehow became necessary as I knew what I would share would make a real difference to people I knew who were trying to combine their jobs and to also serve wholeheartedly in church ministry.  It is definitely not easy for them. But then neither is it easy for me to stay in a community all the time in India.

Life is about making the right choice in our lives with courage and to live our life’s mission to the fullest. I am a firm believer that material security and wealth can never make any human being happy! We need to nourish and strengthen our spiritual lives – to live our faith. I have often seen in friends who are wealthy and yet seem constantly fearful and worried of the future. At times, I believe it is a case that when one has more, one wants more so “joy” becomes elusive!  I look at the poor we care for in our mission here and I see a wonderful contrast – they are at peace and there is a tangible inner joy from the youngest orphan child to the elderly who are part of our Divine Family. I have realized over the years that it is love and concern for one another that makes the biggest difference in any person’s life. Those who were so desperate and marginalized in society now feel love and hence there is no fear. They know the Vincentian Fathers of this retreat centre will always care for them – there are no strings attached.

Do not imagine that those who do ministry or mission work fulltime are holy and hence find it easy to serve God. Each of us has temptations and worldly desires or human and worldly attachments we have to guard against and conquer. The quest to be humble, not to expect recognition, to be filled with God’s Love and Grace are very difficult to master and especially to be living examples of Christ. Indeed, that is what those of us, as Christians, are called for!  I have yet to meet a person who can confidently say, I have the “Fruit of the Spirit” – “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

Every one of us has a call – a mission in our lives. Our life on earth is temporary. We all return to our Maker one day. We cannot take anyone we love or anything we own in this world with us – all we can take up with us are our own good thoughts, words and deeds; the love we showed for our fellowmen/women and most importantly, our Love for God and our Christian mission to live for Him.

We all arrive at “crossroads” in our lives. I too was at a major crossroad in my life. From mid-December 2010 until 31 January 2011, I have gone through the most spiritually challenging phase of my life – where I had to look so deeply into myself, to spend a lot more time in personal prayer and to finally hear and understand the firm and gentle call of God in my heart. It was like a jigsaw puzzle finally being put together! It only became clear when I made the decision to be totally committed to "my call" - no matter what it was. I remember the day and the exact moment I did so - on 22 December 2010 upon hearing a homily. Immediately after that, I felt a joy and calmness in my heart and mind and I felt liberated! The process continued until I attended my personal retreat 8 days ago - and now I know. There are no more doubts. There were quite a few fears I too had felt about fulfilling the call I am strongly feeling in my life. The wonderful part I have learnt is I must never give up because God will never give up on me! After so many years, I finally have a great spiritual confidence of living “my call”. The following bible verse is so real to me now – “Do not be afraid – I am with you!” (Isaiah 43:5) I used to receive it often in moments of uncertainties about my life but it did not penetrate to the depth of my heart until now.

It is God who will lead each one of us - you and me! Tonight, I felt that I should write a new post for this blog but my mind was blank on what to write about. I do not believe it was a mere coincidence that I came across this music video on YouTube – “Never Give Up” by Yolanda Adams and I felt inspired!

 God found a special way to touch my heart and reaffirm me – may He speak to yours too!  

LETS ADD COLOUR TO OUR FOOD AND LIFE!

I don’t know about the rest of you but I am a big procrastinator when it comes to making a few changes to my daily lifestyle in having a more healthy diet. Yes! I have a whole range of excuses. After all these years of excuses, it was time for a REALITY check of my eating habits here in India.  I had the perfect reason to think about this seriously as I was ill this past 10 days and I realized I needed to do something to help myself. I was getting ill one time too many and my favourite doctor is in Singapore. So it is best I stay healthy here!

Well, I did some soul-searching. Frankly, I am not going to be cooking regularly or be going to bed early. But there is one thing I can do with just a little more effort. I can eat more fresh fruit and drink fresh fruit juice! I decided to do some research which will spur me to start and keep up this good eating habit.

Here are some interesting facts about some of the easily available year-round fruits instead of just popping multi-vitamin tablets. Made me think how silly I am – God creates all these natural healthy, colourful fruits for me to eat – and I keep thinking I should buy multi-vitamins…which usually end up just being in their packaging in my room. Yes! I am very bad at taking tablets of ANY kind - be it medicine or vitamins. I need my Mum here who is good at lecturing me daily to take my vitamins and medicine since my childhood!

WATERMELON

I always enjoyed watermelon juice but I had NO IDEA that  watermelon is also a source of the potent carotene antioxidant called lycopene that travels throughout the body neutralizing free radicals. Free radicals are substances in the body that can cause much damage to us.  Watermelon is the only fruit that contains higher concentrations of lycopene than any other fresh fruit or vegetable.  

What’s more it helps lower blood pressure (Potassium), prevents leg cramps (Magnesium). Aids in Digestion (Thiamine), Helps Fight Depression (Vitamin B6) and helps Fight Stress (Pantothenic Acid)!

MANGOES

No one needs to persuade me to eat mangoes ever! I could probably live on mangoes if I had to. Well, for someone who spends long hours in front of the PC, I had no idea that mangoes are good for eyesight! Apparently, One cup of sliced mangoes supplies 25 percent of the needed daily value of vitamin A, which promotes good eyesight. Eating mangoes regularly prevents night blindness, refractive errors, dryness of the eyes, softening of the cornea, itching and burning in the eyes.  

What’s more Mangoes have great cancer-preventing properties (Phenols and abundant enzymes), also combats acidity and soothes the stomach, and surprisingly is a diabetic homemade remedy! Boil a few mango leaves in water and allow it to saturate through the night. Consume the filtered drink in the morning.

APPLES

We all know the adage – an apple a day keeps the doctor away! Well, the pectin in apples helps prevent  heart disease.

More importantly, the natural chemicals and vitamins in apples help to protect the brain from neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimers and Parkinsons disease.

Apple juice is truly refreshing and is my favourite juice during long flights.

ORANGES

 The Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research in Australia found in reviews of scientific studies that a daily extra serving of citrus fruits, which includes oranges, reduces the chances of suffering a stroke by nearly 20 percent.

What I did not know was that oranges have enough Calcium for maintaining strong bones and helping to protect bones from injury, including possible breakages. Well, we all know oranges are high in Vitamin C which provides us with many health benefits and immunity aganst illnesses. Did you know that Vitamin C helps the body to fight against building up a hardening of the arteries known as arteriosclerosis, which can lead to heart attacks? The abundance of flavonoids in oranges help to lower stress and combat bad cholesterol levels too! And did you know that the fibres in oranges works with our body to keep blood sugar levels low? Well, I did not!

BANANA

Now , if there is one thing in great abundance in Kerala, India, it Is the many different varieties of bananas here! I have always known bananas are a good source of energy booster. I was made to eat bananas during athletic events during my schooldays. Well, that Is not all – the potassium in bananas helps prevent cramping too. In fact, the iron in bananas helps stimulate the growth of hemoglobin and helps with those who suffer from anemia.

And the really good news is that you can get a natural high from eating bananas – as it can lift our moods! It seems bananas contain  tryptophan, a mood leveling protein which can help us relax AND the Vitamin B in bananas can help calm our nervous system too.

Well, I have learnt quite a bit just reading up on the Internet the health benefits of my favourite fruits.

Many of us have good intentions to eat more healthily but we are engrossed in other areas of our lives. Well, perhaps putting aside our health is not too smart a thing to do! When we are healthy, our quality of life is good – and that actually adds joy to our lives and all our loved ones.

My 1st week has not started off too well - and I have had 50 percent success only. But this time, I am determined not to give up so easily. The 1st item I am going to buy  on my home trip is a compact juicer! If you are like me, why don't you join me? We just might end up healthier by year end...

We need to thank God for for all the marvellous fruits He has created and ask His Blessings at each meal He provides!

Let’s add colour and zest to our food and daily life!

WE ARE NEVER TOO OLD!

"First say to yourself what you would be;

then do what you have to do."

Epictetus

Do you feel like you are living in a rut at times/ That you are too old to make a change and follow your passion? Well, think again! We should always live our lives full of passion regardles of our age. I think that this is partly what keeps one young-at-heart, jovial and ready to face challenges!

So if any one of you are thinking we are now in a boring middle age phase that will go on till our golden years, it's time to apply the brakes on these thoughts! I came across this 2 short videos in the Vitality section of Yahoo News called Second Act:  Real stories celebrating life, passion and reinvention.

 

Donald Arthur had been given 6 months to live when he received a heart transplant. Now, with a new passion and purpose, he’s trying to complete a marathon in all 50 states. I was just amazed at his willpower. (Yes, I have a healthy heart but I can't imagine running these days...and to think I used to represent my school in the sprint events till I was 15). 

The next video certainly cheered me up! It will probably make us ladies give a silent cheer for her...to see a lady in her 50's still willing to pursue her Olympic dream! And I think my men friends will now think back to all their youthful sporting dreams. I do not know if she will achieve it. But how wonderful to see her willingness to give it her best shot! Once an Emmy Award-winning television producer, Lisa Fisco is now training to be the oldest female weightlifter ever to compete in an Olympic Games.

There are a few people who have truly personally inspired me in my life. The one thing they all have in common are these few qualities: they have an inner peace, a generous spirit, a deep sense of thankfulness of life and a great sense of joy that makes other people want to be around them - to feel their quiet joy, the optimism and the hope and faith they inspire! What is more they are inspirational leaders - they seem set apart and willing  to achieve big goals - despite many obstacles. They really "walk the talk". Age is never a barrier to them!

One bible verse I pray every morning and remind myself a few times daily helps me to strive for this in my life  (Yes...I hope to achieve it in this lifetime) :- 

"Be joyful always; pray constantly;

be thankful in all circumstances for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus"

(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

THE POWER OF OUR DREAMS WILL LIVE ON!

Over the weekend, the tragic news of 6 people being killed and 13 others wounded including the Democratic Congresswoman in Tucson, Arizona, USA who was shot in the head, Gabrielle Giffords, by a 22-year old gunman really disturbed me. What was the world coming to? The acts of mass murders seem to be happening in many countries around the world.

I imagined how devastating and shocking these killings must have seemed to the bereaved families of the youngest victim, Christina-Taylor Green who was born Sept. 11, 2001 – another date with such a tragic event – the 9/11.

I kept thinking repeatedly, "What has the world come to? Is it worth it to pursue one’s dreams in life these days?" Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was doing what she truly enjoyed – meeting her constituents. Nine-year old Christina who had just been elected to her school student council, wanted to learn more about serving in government. She was just a little girl wanting to learn how to live her dream.  

I reflected upon a number of discussions I had shared with some friends over Christmas and New Year. We had spoken about our youthful dreams and of our actual life now. Life had not been plain, easy sailing for any of us – there has been hard knocks, betrayals and pain amidst the many moments of joy in achieving  cherished goals in our lives.

Strangely, I had all five of my friends who were with me during the Christmas/New Year period asking me a similar question – “How can you live like this? How can you do this for nearly 7 years?” I do not think my friends meant that my life now was a step backwards - it was just that my present life seemed a drastic change from what it was before. They probably wanted to understand what made me make this choice and to know if I was happy. I believe every one of us do face important life choices at some point in our lives – whether to pursue the dream of our heart. We have all made our life’s choices or some of us may even be contemplating on some important ones now. 




 To pursue the dream of our heart is never easy. It is taking a step in faith and being willing to take risks – to live for what we truly believe in regardless the cost. For little Christina-Taylor Green, her life might have been tragically shortened by a senseless act…yet her dream and what she aimed for will always live in the hearts of her parents, her brother, her grandparents and all her loved ones. I truly hope Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords will return soon to a life of public service – a commitment she truly believed in.  That is one thing evil can never wipe out…"Good will always overcome evil." (Romans 12:21)

 Dreams will always live on - for in the midst of pain and tragedy, we often see hope and courage being born!

When the world seems full of senseless violence, let us all be willing to add joy to this world – by refusing to cower in fear but to each lead our lives to the full…for the power of our dreams will make THE difference!    



WHAT CHRISTMAS MEANS TO ME...

It is hard to believe the year is coming to an end! As I look back, it amazes me how quickly time seems to have flown by. It is already Christmas in a week's time.

Of all the days and seasons of the year, the season of Christmas has always been the one that has captivated my heart since I was a child. It brings back so many joyful and loving memories of the Christmas celebrations we had as I was growing up. I am sure you can all imagine what it would be like in a large family as mine - parents and 8 children! At home after Christmas midnight mass, we'd come home and have a family Christmas wine toast with Christmas cake and cookies followed up with our family tradition - bread and "appam" with my Mum's excellent chicken stew - an Alexander family Christmas tradition.  There was lots of laughter and joy and love to spare as we exchanged gifts, shared stories and played card games. Often some of our friends would join our family on this night. Even all our pets celebrated Christmas with us and their dog house was also festively decorated and they got a special meal too! We all got very little sleep and be up to enjoy the Christmas open house my parents' unfailingly hosted - lunch for our friends and neighbours. So you can imagine how many people would drop by - my parents' invited friends and all the Alexander kids' school friends!

This is my 7th Christmas in India and away from my family and all my close friends. I had just come back recently after trips to Singapore and Hong Kong...with a couple of short stays with my Mum in Malaysia. When I was in all these countries, everyone I knew were talking and discussing their Christmas plans with great excitement and anticipation. Christmas trees were being put up and all the fun of buying gifts for all their loved ones and family holidays were being planned...there were Christmas carols in all the shopping malls and beautiful city light-ups in Singapore and Hong Kong.

All these brought back memories - both joyful and poignant ones to my heart. I had many wonderful memories memories in all these countries - in Malaysia where I grew up and in SIngapore and Hong Kong where I had lived and worked for 8 and 5 years respectively. As everyone was sharing all the things they were planning to do, I was just listening quietly and thinking how much my life has changed since I have been doing volunteer work in India.

For me, Christmas was always a time of love & joy - it still is! The only thing different is who I have been spending it with these years in India. I used to be someone who had to make many busines trips in my career. In my last job, it was a truly hectic period of non-stop travel from early September till just a few days before Christmas. I would be in many different cities around the world and I enjoyed experiencing the different ways the joyful Christmas spirit seemed to fill the air. The Christmas season of love and joy seems a universal one - with all the lovely and uplifting Christmas carols being heard everywhere, I could actually see more smiles and cheer amongst all the people. It was not just the Christians who were smiling and looking less stressed. There was even a happy holiday mood and cheer in our offices among people of all races and nationalities.

I am a person who absolutely loves Christmas. Every year, I would buy Christmas decorations even for my parents' home and my sister's home in Singapore - even when I was in Hong Kong! I always flew home to be with my parents for Christmas except once when I spent it with my brother in London. What's more, for a person who dislikes shopping usually, I am the happiest shopper in December! Why? Simple really...it is because it brings me great joy to buy a special gift for my loved ones, friends and work colleagues. I would feel all the stress just flowing out of me and joy coming into my heart especially at the Christmas vigil mass. I always felt a special inner peace and a sense of wonder that Jesus was born on this special day - He is 'Emmanuel - "God with us."'  (Matthew 1:23)



1st Volunteer Christmas Nativity Skit Dec 2004

In my first Christmas in India, I organized a Christmas Nativity Show & Celebration among all the volunteers and actually taught a group of Malayalam-speaking volunteers to sing aboout 15 English Christmas carols! They sang it during dinner time in the open air to all the retreatants on our retreat campus for 4 nights before Christmas. That was a truly special Christmas for all of us. It seems prior to that, there had never been any Christmas carols sung or a Nativity play put up in our retreat centre. We also had a campus wide - 'Christmas Friends' gift exchange. I never saw so many excited volunteers eager to pick out the names of their special Christmas friend. Of course, it has all gotten much more better over the years.



A Divine Home Christmas Visit

Many people ask me why I choose to spend Christmas in India, For me, it is because of Christmas Eve - when our Director goes to all the Homes giving out Christmas goodies lovingly sent by a group of my friends from Singapore. The residents of our Charitable Homes await excitedly for Santa Claus, the carolling group and for the warm wishes and foreign goodies from our ever-joyful Director, Fr. Augustine. The smiles especially on the children and elderly people's faces never fails to warm my heart with great joy. As they expect me to be there each year with our Divine Christmas group, many of them cheerfully greet me by name (especially at our Care Centre For The Mentally Ill) They come forward to shake my hand and to wish me a Happy Christmas too and ask me about my family in Malaysia! All of them are very much a part of our Divine Family - the AIDS patients, the mentally ill patients, the orphans, the abandoned elderly people and women.

Volunteers' Carolling Choir

This is what Christmas has come to mean for me in India. To see the joy on the faces of all these people. I cannot communicate with many of them as they do not speak English - but their smiles, their handshakes and their warmth need no spoken language. I do really miss my family and close friends. I miss the life I am used to especially during Christmas. Yet, to experience this few moments of joy with my extended Divine Family makes Christmas meaningful for me. I see the love of Jesus in the effort my friends take to send all the Christmas goodies every year; I see the effort some of volunteers put in to bring Christmas cheer; and I see the joy that many others do not see - because they have not been with us during these Christmas visits to our Charitable Homes. For me, this is the true meaning of Christmas now - to share the love and joy of Christ with those who have so many more problems and difficulties in their lives. We share a common bond...we are all children of God!

I will never forget the joy of all the Christmas Divine Homes' visits these past 6 years. It does not matter if our group is big or small. What matter is the love they have to sacrifice their time on the busy Eve of Christmas for others more in need. I look forward to our Christmas visit next week too - especially as I have an ex-colleague/friend, Joe,  and his daughter, Jean, spending their first Christmas with us in Divine!

Christmas Eve Vigil Mass in Divine

To all my dear family and friends around the world - you are all in my heart especially during Christmas Eve Mass. My heart is always filled with love and wonderful memories remembering all of you. I do say a little prayer for each of you - that we may all be Christ's Joy & Light to the world. We may be far away but our love and care for each other is very much alive in my heart every Christmas in India. Together, we can make a difference and bring JOY TO THE WORLD!