Nine years ago today, I said "Yes" to the call to serve in Divine Retreat Centre full-time. I remember when, how and where I was asked in Singapore very vividly even after all these years. I was on vacation leave then midway in what I thought would be a 6-month volunteer service. Hence, it brings back to me the intense memories and feelings as I am once again now in Singapore for a few more days! Last night, I was reading a very insightful 2003 article by Fr. Warren Sazama S.J. - "What Does It Mean To Say God is Calling Me?"
I smiled to myself as I read Fr. Warren's wisdom-filled advice on answering God's call in our life - his words truly explained my journey of full-time ministry in India. I wished I had read his article in 2004! It was necessary for me to go through doubts and anxiety and search for a deeper understanding within myself to continue to respond fully to God's Call.
Fr. Warren S.J.'s aricle started with the explanation that "Jesuit Ignatian tradition sees God as actively and personally involved in each of our lives....God is engaged in a lifelong dialog with us. Our role in the dialog is to pay attention, listen, and try to respond."
How true these words resonated in my heart...especially the words "God is in a lifelong dialog with us." God's call to serve is constant and He will not change that - a spiritual advise that I was wisely given by a priest a few years ago.It is necessary to search within our heart how to respond always with trust in fulfilling God's plan for our life. In order to serve Him as per His Will, we need to be always open and ready to do so. This Word of God seems to best explain what God wants of us who are called to serve in full-time ministry, "A soldier on active duty wants to please his commanding officer and so does not get mixed up in the affairs of civilian life." (2 Timothy 2:4)
There are sacrifices we need to make as long as we are part of any ministry for our Lord. We will never know exactly what God wants of us as per a written down plan to the smallest details. We need to pray, meditate on the Word of God and to be led by the Holy Spirit with proper spiritual direction. What is needed of us is to take the leap of faith to believe God is with us every step of the way. I take comfort and strength from one of my favourite bible verses in times I feel anxious or may have doubts about my future - "Do not be afraid - I am with you!" (Isaiah 43:5)
I have no idea what is God's Plan for my future. But as I was thinking of my life in India, I know in my heart that my life in Divine is priceless and one I will always treasure - "One day spent in your Temple is better than a thousand anywhere else." (Psalm 84:10) I have been greatly blessed and I am very thankful for this Grace of God.
The music video below "Better is One Day" by Matt Redman summarizes the joy in my heart on this special day for the opportunity God has given me. The lyrics "For here my heart is satisfied within Your Presence" best articulates the inner peace I always feel upon my return to the retreat centre!
