"LOOK AT ME AND LIVE!"

Life is full of surprises…I had been even more introspective since December 2010 than I usually am. Perhaps it is the realization that there is so much I still wish to do and it is not like the years ahead will be as many as those that have gone by!

I am sure at some point in our life, we all reflect upon what our life has been, is, and what it could be in future. Well, I have been doing quite a lot of pondering these past few months.  I have realized something very significant – although there have been many happy moments and successes in my life, I cannot recall the feeling or what actually happened. It is just a memory of a fact that I was successful and happy at achieving my goals then. Yet, I can still remember friends especially good ones and even specific memories decades later! The events no longer really matter but I am so happy these days connecting or meeting with high school friends and ex-colleagues.  It is in being in touch with them that I remember vividly the joy of my schooldays in Malaysia, college in Canada, and working in Malaysia, Hong Kong and Singapore. I travelled extensively during my career and it opened up my perspective of the world. Yes, life is a JOY!

There are many kind, friendly, decent people all over the world. It is why I never despair at all the negative news reports on the Internet or in newspapers. It is because it is boring and difficult to sensationalize “good news”. I have hope in the goodness of the majority of the “silent” people who go about their daily lives trying to lead meaningful lives – caring for their families and loved ones, working hard, and living in peace and harmony with others regardless of race, nationality or religion. In fact, I know I have met significantly more good people in my life than “bad’ ones. I do not expect it to change so drastically now. I always remember the bible verse -“Do Not Let Evil Defeat You; Instead, Conquer Evil With Good." (Romans 12:21)


What really makes me smile is when at times some people refer to my serving in a ministry now as a case of “early retirement” on my part. I get comments like, “You are so lucky that you do not have to work like the rest of us” or “You are so lucky as you do not have stress like us.” Well. the funny part is although I would be deemed a workaholic in my career, here, it is not a case of work and having days or Public Holidays off. I cannot call what I do now “work”. For me, it is a great passion in my life regardless of the obstacles and frustrations that are inevitably there. God did not promise us a good and easy life. But St. Paul said, “In everything God works for good with those who love him.” (Romans 8:28)  It is a far cry from all the comforts and resources that I always had easy access to in the working world. In my seven years here, I have really learnt more about myself and looking back, I can see how much I have changed. 


To make changes in a situation is difficult so it is obvious that the changes within me was not without tears. There have been times it seems that my Guardian Angel had to literally drag me through life before I had the sense that it is I who had to change and not God having to change the situation to suit me! I know without a doubt how my faith is showing me a new way of life…a life of love and of forgiveness.  I have been forgiven so many times myself and I am very much more aware of the love of Christ for me, my family and loved ones in a personal and tangible way. I have learnt tremendously from the Vincentian Fathers who run Divine Retreat Centre. They do not punish or stress us out to get things done efficiently and effectively. Their way is one of kindness, gentleness, understanding, encouragement and most of all love. Most of all, I have learned one CRUCIAL fact of life - “The greater you become, the more humble you should be; then the Lord will be with you.” (Sirach 3:18) Never have I ever seen the fruits of the Spirit manifested more tangibly than in my ministry here in DIvine. The Fathers are very inclusive and loving in their approach to allow each of us serving here to do so to the best of our capabilities and to grow in our service for God. They do not demand perfection in what we do but more a perfection in how we live our faith. It has taken me a few years to truly understand that in Divine, more than endless planning and rules or regulations, what is expected from us ‘”seems” simple – for each of us to pray, to listen and discern how God is calling us to live for Him and to meditate daily on the Word of God. It is the greatest learning experience of my life. It is a matter of FAITH!

On my birthday a few days ago, I went for morning mass just “knowing” that God was going to speak to my heart. How could I be sure? Well, I asked Him to as it was my birthday and God is my Father! I was not disappointed! It was as if Jesus was speaking to me instead of the hundreds of other retreatants present. The question in my heart about my future and what should I do was answered. It was one of the most beautiful homilies I have heard in my life. My heart felt deeply touched by the Grace of God and it seemed to radiate all through my mind and body. Here I would like to share with you some key points of the inspiring sermon by Rev. Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C., the Director of our retreat centre:

“Jesus is saying, “Look At Me and Live!’ We are children of our Heavenly Father – we have spiritual genes lying hidden in our soul. What must we do? In our moments of pain, troubles, trials and doubts, we must look at the Heart of our Father for the spiritual genes “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23) We must allow the spiritual powers (genes) to be awakened in us."

“Most of all, we must stay in prayer and NEVER give up!”

“We celebrate our birthday when we celebrate our life! There could be evil in your family – don’t give up! Don’t be fatigued! Anger and jealousy have no chance. God has said evil is conquered!”

We must never tire in our mission to bring everyone into the Presence and Love of Jesus”

What more could I ask for? I can only thank God for the most intense and empowering seven years of my life serving in this Divine mission and for Fr. Augustine – who does not make work feel like work! It is about rediscovering my faith in God, and to have an “inclusive love” for others so that we can all serve God together in our everyday life. The world is our family! I have realized God is not asking me to be a perfectionist in what I do in my ministry but in how I love, accept and forgive others – the perfection I should aim for the rest of my life.

This timeless Beatles music video “In My Life” is most apt for me at this point in my life…please sit back and enjoy it!

"One filled with joy preaches without preaching."

Blessed Mother Teresa