GOD'S GREAT GIFT IN MY LIFE

Today, 11 October, is a very special day for me -it is on this day SEVEN years ago, I made a decision that I have never regretted. I chose to serve fulltime as a volunteer in India. Looking back to the time, I chose to do so - I still smile at the varying degrees of shock and bafflement from my family, many friends and relatives all over the world at my seemingly illogical decision. Many did not believe I could last even 3 months in India...they obviously knew me well - as I was at that point of time in my life. Till then, my Iife seemed to be always on the fast lane of life's highway, I loved city life and I was used to a certain  comfortable lifestyle. Most of all I was very, very focussed on my career path since a college student. It is little wonder many did not think I had it in me to make this drastic change of being a fulltime volunteer in a Catholic mission.

So when someone like me says that I am giving it all up to work in a Catholic mission run by priests without knowing what I would actually do and to adjust to community life in a village in India, it is too much of a stretch for most people to believe I could survive the differences. I distinctly remember some of my cousins telling me they were sure I would be back in Singapore in 3 months - "There is no way you can survive more than 3 months, Susan. We know you, our cousin. You can never give up your lifestyle or your career. You can never live quietly in India without your constant business travels."

Well, this is where I freely admit it is ONLY due to God's Grace that I have had these seven life-enriching years. I truly have seen God's Promise fulfilled - "My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak."  (2 Corinthians 12:9)  There is no way I could still be here without God's Grace and infinite Love and Patience with me.

Looking back, I can smile about some of the difficult and different changes I faced -difference in expectations, work styles and just major cultural differences that at times drove me crazy! I would wonder how on earth I ended up being here doing this work. It was never in my life's plan. Of course, it did not seem remotely humorous when it was all happening. I have finally learnt to be 'still' in my heart despite the busyness of my work here and to allow God's gentle promptings to lead and guide me in how I try to live for Him. It is not about rushing to do my will but to patiently learn to discern what is God's Will in what I should do and how I do it.

I have really learnt of God's all-encompassing Love and Forgiveness from the Vincentian Fathers in this retreat centre in the inspiring way they carry our their extremely hectic priestly ministry. It is not about only working with people who have real talents and skills or having all the needed financial resources but to accept that in God's Plan, He often seems to make baffling choices or sets out seemingly impossible mission goals. Yet when it is all done in prayer trusting Him, the results are always incredibly blessed! So I am learning to accept and understand God's Ways are definitely not that of my limited human mind or human wisdom.

Well, it is a seven years today and I am glad to say that this ONE decision is the best one I have ever made in my life! These years have been the most blessed, challenging and fulfilling years of my life - I know I am not the same person who said "Yes" to fulltime ministry work in 2004. Just being a tiny part of the Divine ministry has changed my heart and my life. The power of FAITH and the power of PRAYER can and will achieve miracles. I am still learning every day to trust God in all things unconditionally - both big and small.

What have I really learnt in answering God's Call?  It is about what God wants of each of us as we live our Christian mission for Him...


We need to be joyful so that not only do we dare to carry our crosses to follow Jesus, we are also His Ambassadors and His Light to the world. People should feel when they are with us that they tangibly experience the Glory and Joy of our Lord. That is something intrinsic in us when we surrender and trust God. I want to choose to live in the Joy of the Lord! Do people hear the joy in our voices, see it in our smiles and in our eyes? Do they feel lighter and joyful in their hearts from having spent time with us? My morning prayer every day is - “Today is the best day of my life. I will be joyful and nothing will get me down. Joy is my gift to God.” There are days when this daily prayer offering seems really difficult but I still try and that is what matters - not giving up. After all, if God's Glory is upon you and me and over all the earth - is that not what others should see in us –  Christians?

I do not know what lies ahead as I go into my 7th year in ministry but God definitely holds the Master Plan of my life...and the YouTube music video "Trust His Heart" with music and words  by Eddie Carswell and Babbie Mason sums up my trust in Jesus to know what is best for me - even when I do not understand!

 "For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteuousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit; whoever serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by others."

Romans 14:17 (NAB)

"DO NOT BE AFRAID - I AM WITH YOU!" (Isaiah 43:5)

It has been a really tough few months and I have to admit that it has been not easy realizing that in every moment of life - even during painful times - God does show His Presence and there is still joy. I am finally finding in the midst of great personal turmoil the Peace that only Jesus can give to me through His Word and through the Family of God He has lovingly surrounded me with.

It is easy to get caught up in turbulent periods of our life and to lose the ONE focus we are called as Christians to have. At least, I know that I have really struggled with it. Yet, God's Word has always been in my heart and mind to sustain me until I could begin to let go of my pain and to entrust it all to Jesus. "Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end."  (Hebrews 12:2)

I have no idea what lies ahead in the future for me. But to let fear of the future destroy the present I have now to serve God joyfully and faithfully is not an option. That was the struggle that I thought I should face - making a practical decision as opposed to the strong call I feel in my heart. As I spend quiet time in prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament daily, healing is taking place. The many bible verses that I had received and taken down as I meditated on the Bible is now finally penetrating my heart and soul. I guess I was too caught up in my human thinking before. Obviously, I have forgotten that God does not reside in my brain (intellect) but in my heart (faith) and we often read that in the bible about this very fact!  It is when i am able to let go and let God take over that I have begun to feel the Divine Peace of Jesus' Presence in my life. Indeed, God is Love (1 John 4:16) and "There is no fear in love. " (I John 4:18)

 

 

I really do not know what lies ahead for me but yesterday as I was in the Prayer Room, I came across my notes in my prayer journal of a touching homily on 21 July 2011 that I was prompted to jot down.  The priest reminded us of the following: "Human love is bound to be limited. The tragedy of life is that we are not able to look at the Pierced Heart of Jesus - his Love for me and you! We need to to know God's Promise in Psalm 27:10, 'My father and mother may abandon me, but the LORD will take care of me.' In the moment of doubts and troubles, who do I turn to in the pain of my heart? I should look at the open Heart of Jesus and live!"

 

 

Well, I definitely needed to be reminded of how great is the Love of Jesus for me and who I must fix my gaze and heart upon! I am thankful for all my friends in Christ who have shown so much love and care towards me and especially for all their prayers.  It has been a deep heartfelt joy in my heart in the midst of all the turmoil.

It is certainly not a coincidence that I came across this YouTube music video  "PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM" by Casting Crowns this morning. It is definitely a Divine "reminder" that I should always praise God in all circumstances and my only desire is to live my life for Him!

SEARCHING FOR THE HERO INSIDE OURSELVES!

A few hours ago, I received an email from a friend of mine that brought tears to my eyes.  Jacinta is a a Singaporean whom I met when she came to attend a retreat here in Divine Retreat Centre, India in 2004. At that time, she was journeying to be a Catholic and was baptized a year later. I can still remember so vividly Jacinta sharing that it was a miracle that she somehow ended up coming for the retreat at short notice.  She was not sure what it was but she was certain God had a very special reason to do so - she was fully convinced of that in her heart that He had a special plan for her life.  

Well, in these past seven years, I have learnt of Jacinta's incredibly courageous will to overcome cancer which has kept recurring. I have heard of Jacinta's four rounds of chemotherapy and even an experimental drug which unfortunately has not worked out now. Yet the one thing that always amazes and humbles me is Jacinta's very positive and matter of fact way of sharing and discussing all the setbacks and challenges she constantly faces in her long battle to overcome cancer. There is absolutely no self-pity, no tears except her incredible faith in Jesus!

I have often thought about Jacinta - a recent convert to Catholicism and yet her faith has  made all the difference in her life. How many of us can discuss all the setbacks and the cancer recurrences calmly and still remain upbeat and thankful for God's Mercy in answering prayers? That is what I have constantly heard from Jacinta - her thankfulness always to God and the prayers that were being said for her. Frankly, I really do not know how I would be in her shoes. All I can say is that Jacinta is a beautiful example of Christian courage and an inspiration to me...just as I am sure she is to many of her family members and friends.

Last nite, Jacinta sent me an email which began with these words, "Praise the Lord! Through the mercy of God, I survived the 10-hour operation. After surgery, I was kept in intensive care unit and high dependency unit for close monitoring for 3 days." Well, just reading these first few lines made my heart seem to stop for a few seconds! I have often prayed for God's Glory to be manifested in Jacinta's complete healing. Why was God taking so long? She had called me before her operation and I was so touched by her inner strength to write to me just one day after her 13-day stay in hospital!. 

  

The rest of Jacinta's email finally made me realize what I failed to see before. Jacinta is a Christian hero to all of us who know her because she has found inside herself the key to her life - her will to  live joyfully for Jesus!  

It is in Jacinta's long cancer battle that she is making me fully realize the incredible Power of Faith -  of having full trust in God and entrusting one's whole life in God's Hands. Many of us may say these words and think we are doing so - but do we truly believe that and do our actions exemplify that? I know I struggle to do so.  

To be a committed Christian, you and I are called to be "More Than Conquerors."  (Romans 8:37)  Well, that means we cannot be timid Catholics - choosing never to create waves, caving in to worldly demands for the sake of security in life or not daring to take a politically incorrect stand because the majority of society may not like it. No indeed! It is the very opposite, we are called to have courage - to act despite our fear. We must remember God's Promise, "Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

The good news that really made me so proud and happy for Jacinta is her cheery words saying that the team of doctors who operated on her told her, "You are a survivor!" and they had presented her successful operation case to a large group of doctors a week later. And they told her, "You are a celebrity!" Well, I wholeheartedly agree that she is a celebrity  - Jacinta's will to live is a celebration of the Presence of Jesus in her life!

The longer I serve in Divine, the more I realize that I am blessed with an increasing number of friends around the world - just ordinary people like me - who with great, quiet and firm courage choose to live for Christ despite obstacles, rejection and difficult troubles that come their way. They do not give up. They have these virtues in common - a deep faith in God, a firm resolve to courageously answer His Call in their lives and most importantly,  every one of them dares to live for HIm!

God is Love! Let us love God with all our hearts for then we live in His Promise of Hope  - "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Without courage, we cannot aim to be the best that we can be for God! To be His Light to the world, each of us must dare to be "lighted candles" whose flames burn steadily and not flicker and die out quickly. The music video "Courage Quotes" set to the M People song, "Search For The Hero Inside Yourself" is most uplifting.

Jacinta - you are Christ's Light to the world!

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” May Ann Radmacher

GOD'S GRACE TO US - FRIENDS!

This past month, I had to come to grips  with one of my closest and dearest friends, Gillian, having to fly from her home in Antigua back to Toronto, Canada, to undergo a series of tests re her cancer diagnosis...and to start on her chemotherapy yesterday. Gillian is always the type of friend one wants to have around: very cheerful, upfront and the friend I can always count on to be there for me - no questions and no judgments passed. Well, I thought  - it is high time the rest of us including me are there now for Gillian.

Gillian & Johann - her joy!

The funny thing is I have been concerned and worried but amazingly it is Gillian's cheerful and chatty  emails about being back in Toronto and of all her doctors and the test results that have comforted me instead! God has certainly blessed Gillian with personal courage, inner hope and faith in the Power of Prayers - that one could never ever buy with money.

The news right now does not seem too good but as per Jesus' Promise, "This is impossible for man, but for God everything is possible." (Matthew 19:26) I know Gillian has the character, attitude and courage to have a positive outlook in life to go through the long months of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation that lies ahead.

When I first got the news about Gillian's big "C" - Cancer - being confirmed, I felt really shaken personally in a way  I have never felt before. My happy memories of life in Canada are always closely linked with Gillian. We are also of the same age. Being a foreign student on my own, Gillian and her lovely late mother and her two sisters welcomed me with "open" hearts as part of their family. She is still the only friend who knows all my siblings' names and also of most of my nephews and nieces!  I will never ever forget the love they were so generous with towards me. In the 5 1/2 years I was there, even her dad who would fly up from Antigua knew enough about me before he ever met me personally.  I had only gone home once. What is more, as a student trying to be careful with money, making regular international calls to Malaysia was a luxury in those days! I would only call on my parents' birthdays, Christmas, Easter and other special occasions. After each call, I remember crying  because I missed my family and then later being surrounded by the warmth and love of the Derrick family. In essence, they "adopted" me and gave me a family environment in Toronto whenever I needed it. 

What I greatly treasure of my life as a college student is that God has given me the really special grace to find a true friend. Gillian and I seem very unlikely friends if it was just judged on our interests and focus in life then. I was quite driven to get good grades and had plans about what i wanted to do in life; Gillian was so easy going and she was still in the discovery phase to find out what she wanted to do! We were very unlike each other in that sense. Yet luckily for me, Gillian's Mum thought I would be a good influence on Gillian then. :)  

No distance has ever broken our friendship - even in the years when I kept moving to work in different cities, different countries and constantly changing apartment addresses! Gillian would somehow write to my parents' home and track me down. I still marvel at her patience in persevering to keep our friendship alive. It is not that I forgot Gillian but I have this terrible habit. I enjoyed writing letters but my problem is getting those letters posted. Once,  we both sent a large envelope filled with  letters that we had written to each other but never posted - in her case because she did not know where I was! I still have these cards and notes back home after all these years...

It is only after I have stayed put in India these past seven years that we have not lost track of one another - thanks to emails, Facebook and Skype. These days, I am really happy that I have also re-connected with some of my secondary school classmates and ex-colleagues. It is such a happy feeling to see photos and hear news of their families, travels, their hobbies and interests. What they have become is irrelevant - we were good friends before and we still are! Time has not changed that.  In fact, I have truly realized that old friends are one of God's most precious gifts to me.  As the Bible says - "Never abandon an old friend; you will never find a new one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it gets older." (Sirach 9:10)

I can lose everything else in life but the warm and joyful memories of my childhood, college and working days will always be vividly remembered - not by the achievements or bonuses I attained BUT but by my friends who at some point touched my life and made a real difference.

Let us not forget that relationships matter but it takes time to nurture them. Nowadays, I say a little prayer for God to bless all my friends and to take care of them. I probably may not get a chance to meet every one of you, my dear friends, personally again but it does not matter - the joys in your lives that you share with me is priceless. It often brings a smile to my face and heart!

Well, I like to dedicate this lovely music video below - "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts to every one of my friends - special blessings of God in my life - and especially to Gillian. 

The lyrics of this song say what I really do wish for each of you:

My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold

Gillian, we WILL keep our promise to catch up in Antigua to celebrate our enduring friendship and for me to finally meet Johann. God will make a way! Till then, you are very much in my heart...

"WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME WILL NOT WALK IN DARKNESS" (JOHN 8:12)

One never expects something to happen out of the blue where everything about life suddenly seems full of uncertainty. It does not help hearing at the same time about serious illnesses of some friends. Suddenly life seems dark, there is pain, confusion, yes even fear - and the ever infamous question, "Why?" Can a world that seemed so normal turn upside down  seemingly in the blink of an eye? Well, the sad truth is yes - it happens to millions of people around the world each day.

I thought I had been through times which truly tested me until the one crisis I am currently facing now. All the others pale in comparison! I can understand how difficult it is to be just around other people when all I want to be is alone. 

I had been unable to write any posts on my blog for a few weeks - I have to admit that it is hard to recognize joy when I am feeling troubled, worried and anxious. Yet it is in this time - in the midst of tears, frustration, anger, that I have realized the bonds of love with those who are so very dear to me. We may not have material riches but what we have is worth much more - we love each other and together; we will somehow overcome any trials or tribulations. What is needed is for us to stop being panicky, stressed and afraid. It is in this time more than any other that we should turn to God - for He will answer our prayers. In fact, I know God is very close to us now.  


There is joy even in our moments of pain though it seems rather bitter-sweet moments. Last night during the Inner Healing Service here, the priest called out my name, "Susan - Put all your burdens at My Feet, says the Lord". I silently cried for around ten minutes. It was joy - joy in knowing Jesus was showing clearly I was not alone. It was a soul-deep relief feeling the Love of Jesus comforting me though I was just too mentally exhausted and wrung out. God sees everything in my heart. I remember just sitting there listening and feeling the prayers being said. I was bone-tired and hence participating verbally seemed too much. I recalled  the words of St. Paul, "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated...It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4,7)   

Well, God always gives each of us a few people who are like "angels" to help us get through tough times even if they are thousands of miles away - it could be our spouse, siblings, children or close friends. There will be someone who gives us the courage to take one day at a time. In my case, currently it is actually one hour at a time! But the point is, we will overcome. We need to trust God and have belief in His Word  - "Do not let evil defeat you; instead conquer evil with good."  (Romans 12:21) A single candle can light up a totally darkened room!


I do not think God expects us to go and be chummy to those who deliberately set out to hurt or make our lives difficult. It is enough we do not hate them but rather allow our actions, whatever we hope to do, to be guided by our faith in God and in love. 


Let us have hope in God's Promise - "Do not be afraid - I am with you!" (Isaiah 43:5) 


I came across this heart-touching, comforting "SIMPLE QUOTES THAT MOVE THE HEART" music video yesterday afternoon. It was the little spark that made me feel I should share it with all of you - and so I am finally inspired to write once again today. Well, I do not feel on top of the world yet. In fact, I am choosing to live just "one day at a time" and knowing God will always take care of everyone I love even if I cannot do so. Why? It is because He is a faithful God who promises each of us - you and me - "If you ask for anything in my name, I will do it." (John 14:14)

"Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, 

for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

LIVING AN UNCOMPLICATED LIFE...

Today, I had a friend comment on Facebook that "Life is complicated." It made me smile! A few years back, I had a similar discussion with a few friends. They were asking me how could I walk away from a lifestyle I was used to for a much simpler one. One of them asked me, "Who are you now, Susan? Can you explain what are you looking for in life? Why would you want this major upheavel and uncertainty at this stage of your life? Every one else is settling down and you walk right into a life of uncertainty! It makes no sense and I always thought you were very logical and analytical"  Well, I have to admit something here. I really do not think I was fully aware  in my heart and mind  that I would serve in India indefinitely. After all, in my career, I never stayed in any job position for more than 3 years - that was the only frame of reference I had then. Perhaps  God decided that it was better that I did not really know what I was in for upfront. I probably would have not moved an inch and stayed put in Singapore! I always found India daunting to live in.  

To put in bluntly, I had to "uncomplicate" my heart's and mind's desires and wants in order learn what is truly important in life. it was not the changes in lifestyle that was difficult and at times painful. It was in how I should live a life that was pleasing to God. It was about forgetting my ego, my so-called expertise/talents, about my own personal ministry goals and plans. I had to live a life of love which is so beautifully explained by St. Paul in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13:4-8 - The Way of Love. It is the following verse about "Love" that truly struck me a few years ago - "It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7)

It was about me grappling to really understand "Who am I? What does God want from me?  The truth is a life of simplicity and detachment from material and worldly standards is a rather complicated goal to achieve.  I had to learn to live this Word of God - "Do not conform  yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect." (Romans 12:2)  Frankly, many times I was sure I was already living like that. After all, did I not dare to come and serve as a fulltime volunteer in India?  

It took about 5 long years before I understood in my heart that it REALLY did not matter to the priests in this centre what "label" had to be given for my ministry here. It seemed to matter to others who were trying to know where I fit in  - yes, even me! For a long while, I could relate really well to the children's story, "The Ugly Duckling".  As I was doing my personal retreat in  late November 2008, the answer came as a thunderbolt to my heart! It is not volunteer work that I am doing here for God. It is about me learning to live joyfully for Christ.  This is my ministry! 

Firstly,  to God, it is irrelevant what I do! After all, He has already told me, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." (Jeremiah 1:5) And God has also assured me of His Love - "You are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you." (Isaiah 43:4) In fact, He gives this loving assurances to EVERY one of us! Each and every person on this earth is a "Child of God". Unfortunately, it has taken me a long while to believe that God's Love is totally unconditional. He is not giving me Key Result Areas I must achieve in terms of activities or projects in a year. Rather God is filling me with His Graces so that I will turn to Him and know who I am to Him.  It is the real me - the person - who truly matters to God. It is never about what I can do for Him.  Rather it is  how I will willingly live for Him here on earth - "For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteousness, peace and joy of the Holy Spirit; whoever serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by others." (Romans 14:17)  

It is now that I have a deeper grasp of what what love and humility means - knowing that I am a imperfect child of a perfect God. Yet, He loves me completely and never gives up on me!

As the beautiful lyrics of the hymn "Who Am I?" sung by the Casting Crowns in the YouTube video below says. "Not because of who I am  but because of what You've done. Not because of what I have done but because of who You are..."

It is by God's Grace that He has specially chosen each of us for our mission in life. So our life's goal is really uncomplicated isn't it? However, even God did not say it was going to be easy and simple to achieve.

It is a matter of perseverance and living life joyfully...one day at a time!

"LOOK AT ME AND LIVE!"

Life is full of surprises…I had been even more introspective since December 2010 than I usually am. Perhaps it is the realization that there is so much I still wish to do and it is not like the years ahead will be as many as those that have gone by!

I am sure at some point in our life, we all reflect upon what our life has been, is, and what it could be in future. Well, I have been doing quite a lot of pondering these past few months.  I have realized something very significant – although there have been many happy moments and successes in my life, I cannot recall the feeling or what actually happened. It is just a memory of a fact that I was successful and happy at achieving my goals then. Yet, I can still remember friends especially good ones and even specific memories decades later! The events no longer really matter but I am so happy these days connecting or meeting with high school friends and ex-colleagues.  It is in being in touch with them that I remember vividly the joy of my schooldays in Malaysia, college in Canada, and working in Malaysia, Hong Kong and Singapore. I travelled extensively during my career and it opened up my perspective of the world. Yes, life is a JOY!

There are many kind, friendly, decent people all over the world. It is why I never despair at all the negative news reports on the Internet or in newspapers. It is because it is boring and difficult to sensationalize “good news”. I have hope in the goodness of the majority of the “silent” people who go about their daily lives trying to lead meaningful lives – caring for their families and loved ones, working hard, and living in peace and harmony with others regardless of race, nationality or religion. In fact, I know I have met significantly more good people in my life than “bad’ ones. I do not expect it to change so drastically now. I always remember the bible verse -“Do Not Let Evil Defeat You; Instead, Conquer Evil With Good." (Romans 12:21)


What really makes me smile is when at times some people refer to my serving in a ministry now as a case of “early retirement” on my part. I get comments like, “You are so lucky that you do not have to work like the rest of us” or “You are so lucky as you do not have stress like us.” Well. the funny part is although I would be deemed a workaholic in my career, here, it is not a case of work and having days or Public Holidays off. I cannot call what I do now “work”. For me, it is a great passion in my life regardless of the obstacles and frustrations that are inevitably there. God did not promise us a good and easy life. But St. Paul said, “In everything God works for good with those who love him.” (Romans 8:28)  It is a far cry from all the comforts and resources that I always had easy access to in the working world. In my seven years here, I have really learnt more about myself and looking back, I can see how much I have changed. 


To make changes in a situation is difficult so it is obvious that the changes within me was not without tears. There have been times it seems that my Guardian Angel had to literally drag me through life before I had the sense that it is I who had to change and not God having to change the situation to suit me! I know without a doubt how my faith is showing me a new way of life…a life of love and of forgiveness.  I have been forgiven so many times myself and I am very much more aware of the love of Christ for me, my family and loved ones in a personal and tangible way. I have learnt tremendously from the Vincentian Fathers who run Divine Retreat Centre. They do not punish or stress us out to get things done efficiently and effectively. Their way is one of kindness, gentleness, understanding, encouragement and most of all love. Most of all, I have learned one CRUCIAL fact of life - “The greater you become, the more humble you should be; then the Lord will be with you.” (Sirach 3:18) Never have I ever seen the fruits of the Spirit manifested more tangibly than in my ministry here in DIvine. The Fathers are very inclusive and loving in their approach to allow each of us serving here to do so to the best of our capabilities and to grow in our service for God. They do not demand perfection in what we do but more a perfection in how we live our faith. It has taken me a few years to truly understand that in Divine, more than endless planning and rules or regulations, what is expected from us ‘”seems” simple – for each of us to pray, to listen and discern how God is calling us to live for Him and to meditate daily on the Word of God. It is the greatest learning experience of my life. It is a matter of FAITH!

On my birthday a few days ago, I went for morning mass just “knowing” that God was going to speak to my heart. How could I be sure? Well, I asked Him to as it was my birthday and God is my Father! I was not disappointed! It was as if Jesus was speaking to me instead of the hundreds of other retreatants present. The question in my heart about my future and what should I do was answered. It was one of the most beautiful homilies I have heard in my life. My heart felt deeply touched by the Grace of God and it seemed to radiate all through my mind and body. Here I would like to share with you some key points of the inspiring sermon by Rev. Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C., the Director of our retreat centre:

“Jesus is saying, “Look At Me and Live!’ We are children of our Heavenly Father – we have spiritual genes lying hidden in our soul. What must we do? In our moments of pain, troubles, trials and doubts, we must look at the Heart of our Father for the spiritual genes “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23) We must allow the spiritual powers (genes) to be awakened in us."

“Most of all, we must stay in prayer and NEVER give up!”

“We celebrate our birthday when we celebrate our life! There could be evil in your family – don’t give up! Don’t be fatigued! Anger and jealousy have no chance. God has said evil is conquered!”

We must never tire in our mission to bring everyone into the Presence and Love of Jesus”

What more could I ask for? I can only thank God for the most intense and empowering seven years of my life serving in this Divine mission and for Fr. Augustine – who does not make work feel like work! It is about rediscovering my faith in God, and to have an “inclusive love” for others so that we can all serve God together in our everyday life. The world is our family! I have realized God is not asking me to be a perfectionist in what I do in my ministry but in how I love, accept and forgive others – the perfection I should aim for the rest of my life.

This timeless Beatles music video “In My Life” is most apt for me at this point in my life…please sit back and enjoy it!

"One filled with joy preaches without preaching."

Blessed Mother Teresa