MY LIFE IS MY MESSAGE - Mahatma Gandhi

Life is a mystery...we never know what is ahead of us - even in the next moment. The longer I live, the more I realize that every moment of my life is a precious gift from God. Yet, have I been truly appreciative of every moment of my life? Have I felt that God has a purpose for every moment of my life? How do I treasure the reason I have been put on this earth? I am sure many of us have pondered at various points in our lives - "What is the purpose of my life on earth?"

We can live making excuses that we are too busy now. We can justify the way we live now by saying that one day we will really start to live for Jesus. But does anyone really know how long God has granted us life on earth?

My beloved late sister - Bridget!

The question that shook the very foundation of my life was when my second eldest sister, Bridget,  passed away suddenly 19 years ago on 28 July 1997. The years have passed by and it may seem like such a long time ago...yet I can still vividly recall the emotions and feelings I felt as as the final prayers were being conducted at our family home by the priest before we proceeded to the church for the funeral mass. I looked at the anguish and grief of my parents that day.  I had never ever seen them so broken-hearted before and I looked at my sisters and brothers and I knew I would never ever take my life so lightly again. It is only at her death that we learnt of the many charitable acts my sister had been doing - the great love the elderly and the poor had for her. None of us even knew one of her deeds to others! We did know she had a huge generous heart for the family. (After all these years, even now when I go to pray at her grave, I will find candles that had been lit for her soul.)  I remember in the final moments at the cemetery, one question seemed to be piercing my heart: ""What am I doing with my life? I was making lots of money for the company but if I died, they would just replace me with someone else.  To be honest, I had no answer then to this question that shook me to the core of my being.  I wanted to know the real purpose for why I was on this earth. It was a search that had already been in my heart for a few years. It had to be more than the money I was earning and the position and success I had in my career.  What is there to live for? Was my job and my career success the only identity that I had? Was that enough? At her death, my sister's life message humbled and inspired me.

Perhaps it take a huge crisis in our lives before we even realize that we are mere beings here for a finite time on earth and the existence of God is REAL. I knew in the months that went by, it was my parents' faith in God that took them through the most painful period of our family's lives. Most of my siblings lived overseas.  It was not easy for any one of us as we were all away from family support that we needed most. It was a time I realized how much my parents needed my support and love too. Usually it was the other way. I was the one who needed to have my parents' love and support for all I wanted to achieve in my life. 

Somehow, in our mutual grief,  Jesus started drawing me closer to Him but I still did not know Him yet. I was astounded to learn after the funeral that my parents had prayed together and agreed to surrender my sister to God according to His Will. They only asked Jesus not to let my sister suffer but to welcome her into Heaven if that was His Will. Where and how did they get such faith? I could not comprehend how in their grief, in her final hours, they could surrender a child they loved so much to Jesus. All of us knew of our parents' deep faith but it moved us deeply to see their faith in the most difficult moments of their lives. Out of the darkest moments, the Light of Jesus shone through.  My parents showed us that Jesus was the centre of their lives even in tragic circumstances. It spoke volumes to us of the Power of God in our family life. In that period of grief and anguish, I learnt all about love and how fragile, precious and important it is to treasure the life of every person I love. From that day, I am very conscious not to take my loved ones for granted.

As I look back to my life pre-Divine and post-Divine life after the first retreat, it is like I spent a life having an abstract kind of love for Jesus knowing that He is God and that He answers my prayers when I need Him. Yet, I never had the abiding faith and love that my parents seemed to have. And there is post-Divine first retreat, where I had a tangible personal God-experience. The bone-sapping mental, physical and spiritual fatigue I had been feeling was lifted from me. I did not know how much burden I was carrying on my own because I did not know I could surrender everything to Jesus. In fact, the prominently displayed bible verse that struck me upon arriving into Divine Retreat Centre was - "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)  Indeed, this Word of God came alive. 

I have always been touched by this quote of John F. Kennedy ' "If not us, who? If not now, when?" It was a challenge that touched my heart deeply when I was studying in Canada and first read it. Since then, I always felt a desire to do at least one-year fulltime volunteer work - reaching out to those in  need instead of just making donations. Each of us must give of our self to make our world a better place. It is no point only aiming to have big savings, own expensive material possessions, countless vacations and other perks seen as important in the eyes of the world. Will any of that help us to attain eternal life? Is proclaiming Jesus the focus of our life mission? How am I living for Christ? It is crucial to be aware that Jesus' Love should radiate through us. Watchman Nee explained clearly what our life message should be all about...

“Do we impress people with ourselves, or with the Lord? 

Do we draw people to our teaching, or to the Lord? This is genuinely vital. 

It determines the value of all our work and labor.”

― Watchman Nee, The Release of the Spirit

Our life has to be the message of our Master - Jesus. If we are servants of Christ, then we have no identity except His. We will only focus to do His Will and not our will despite the cost. That is what a good and faithful servant does. It is to answer the call to universal holiness in the Catholic Church.

Being a disciple of Jesus is not about following rituals / rules / personal preferences to show how "holy" one is. Pope Francis explained what "holiness" should mean to every baptized Catholic -"Holiness does not mean doing extraordinary things. but doing ordinary things with love and faith."  

Essentially, it is what Mahatma Gandhi said, "My life is my message." That is the priceless question every one of us must ponder upon- "What is the message of my life?'" 

What one learns in the mission field is that it does not matter WHAT you are doing for God, it is the motive and intention in your heart. It is what is often proclaimed here during the weekly retreats. "Love is not an emotion. It is a commitment." For that we need ENDURANCE. Do not think living for Christ is one easy joyous undertaking. Remember what Jesus has challenged  each one of us: "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. (Luke 14:27)

It is why I personally believe that there is nothing I cannot do for God if that is what He is asking of me. In God's eyes, I am doing great things for Him because He promises each of us  - "You are precious to me." (Isaiah 43:4)  I am never deterred by others telling me a ministry goal I have felt in my heart is not possible and proceed to tell me how difficult it is. In fact, if I thought like that, I think my ministry here would have ended a long time ago. The reason is, as even the Vincentian Fathers of Divine Retreat Centre will attest to, there is never any available resources  - often in terms of finances, skills or knowledge - for what God asks of us to do through the Divine-Potta ministry. The Directors of the Divine-Potta ministry are best examples for me personally to learn how I, a lay person,  can live the mission that God has for me.

The greatest lesson I have learnt in Divine is to have these Christian attributes:

1. To have FAITH
2. To have SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE 
3. To BELIEVE nothing is impossible
4. To have a SERVANT heart
5. To have a daily personal PRAYER life.
6. To TRUST in God's Providence
7. To NEVER GIVE UP
8. To THANK God for everything.

My prayer is for every one of  you who reads this post to SAY YES to Jesus' Call to you.

Do take a few minutes to let your heart and mind be touched by the uplifting YouTube music video - "I'LL SAY YES" by DON MOEN 

If we live, it is for the Lord that we live, and if we die, it is for the Lord that we die. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Romans 14:8 

"BE FEARLESS ON WHAT SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE' - Unknown

Last Saturday was my 12th full year of serving in Divine. It really surprised me that I have been here so long for it does not seem so. Well, I have definitely now lived in India longer than in any of the countries I have lived in since i was a teenager in Malaysia! 

Last year was a very testing period for me as I had two falls in which I hurt the back of my skull and my neck and lower back and had a severe bout of viral fever. It was a year where there was lots of enforced bedrest, physiotherapy and acupuncture. Yet as I look back, although it seems incredible now, I still carried out most of my ministry projects despite the throbbing pain of my skull which only stopped hurting this February. It still hurts when I get too tired. I can only give Glory and Praise to God! However, I learnt something priceless in the time of enforced rest. It was hard to concentrate or think too much when one's brain is given a very hard thump twice  exactly six months apart and a few discs on the spine are hitting the nerves. That is when I truly learnt that working on a PC actually places a lot of stress on one's brain as the neurologist pointed out.  :) So what could I do? Well, it was a time of grace for I could only pray for our Divine mission initiatives I held close to my heart and to catch up on spiritual reading. Reading was not easy either as my eyesight was affected too! It was a year when I semed to be praying and meditating more than anyhing else. And I learnt something to treasure always. In having to be still in heart and in my actions, I gained an inner peace and tranquility in my heart and in what I felt called to do. Nowadays, I am more centred in Christ, knowing Jesus will take me through it all. Now I know what it means to "surrender to God" - to let Jesus have "quality time" to teach me stillness of mind, heart and body. It is then I can truly listen and experience His Powerful Presence in my life.

But something wonderful happened last year - despite it all, I was able to complete nearly all the mission projects I had undertaken for 2015. Praise God! 

This year, it has been just the opposite - the fruit of the prayers were answered in remarkable ways. I have been on a Divine Lenten mission to Malaysia & Singapore in March and on a Divine mission initiative in Hong Kong this month. It has been a deeply enriching experience meeting Catholics who thirst to know Jesus more and those who have a deep desire to serve God in a tangible way. If I had any mistaken notion that last year was not productive, this year, it has proven to me the incredible Anointing and Grace that God pours down upon us when we surrender all our plans into His Hands and trust in His Providence.

Being on both these mission initiatives were the fruit of many years of prayers and being patient for God to reveal His Plan. One blessed lesson I have learnt in my ministry here - never to give up even if I do not know how to move forward in the mission initiative our Lord has placed in my heart. I need to wait and pray for Jesus to do it in His Time. This is a point I often hear our Director proclaiming to retreatants every week. More importantly, I witness it so clearly in the major mission works carriend out by the Vincentian Fathers in the Divine-Potta Ministry.  There is always an Attitude of Hope - that "Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:21) And God's Glory is always manifested in incredible splendour. So how can I not believe in miracles? 

Practically every person I meet will remark how they are touched by the gentleness, peace and joy that they see exemplified in the Directors of our Divine-Potta ministry when they speak to them personally. Even all of us who serve here experience it despite living in their midst for so many years. The answer is simple. Everything that is carried out in this mission is only done after much prayers by the Fathers and in the Light of the Holy Spirit. Hence, there is always the Peace that it is God who is in charge and we have nothing to fear. As I look back at the years I have spent here, I thank Jesus for giving me the great grace to live and learn in a very personal and tangible way His Promise of Hope:

“For I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.”

(Jeremiah 29:11)

One question I keep getting asked especially when friends know it is now twelve years that I have lived and served in India - the same question i am asked every year. "So when are you planning to return home?" This is a question I just cannot answer. I did not plan to come and serve in Divine. I never even once thought of it until I was asked! And likewise, I cannot plan as to when I will leave the mission. It all depends on God. Two little  prayers I say before I receive Holy Communion sums up how I try to live my life. The prayers are, "Here I am Lord, Your handmaid, I am here to do Your Will." The second prayer is, "Guardian Angel, help me to discern and to do our Lord's Will at all times." This means that I make no plans of my ministry's length of service. I have chosen to entrust my life in God's Hands. Of course, I do have my human worries but it has been the greatest joy in knowing how Jesus shows His Love for me - "You are precious to Me" (Isaiah 43:4) - in special, unexpected ways so I know He is always watching over me. 

Is serving God much easier than working in the secular world? The answer is a definite 'NO". For even more so, there is one command of Jesus we must follow - "If anyone wants wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."  (Luke 9:23) And how should I follow Jesus? There is only ONE way. " Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end."  (Hebrews 12:2)  It is not a simple thing to do as usually we tend to look at one another instead of the Face of God. Yet, I have found that as we pray and meditate on the Word of God and contemplate on the Goodness of God, His Bountiful Grace will fill our hearts and mind. That is how our passion to live for Jesus fills our soul and we are not tired, burnt out and anxious about our ministry or the seeming impossibility of what God is asking of us.   I find that right now, the Fire of God's Spirit burns brighter and deeper in my heart and mind than it did 12 years ago. Much has happened in my life in these years: joy, pain, doubts, frustrations; and every possible emotion one can think of. Is there any security or guarantee for a lay person serving in a ministry? The answer is "NO". So why would I take the so-called risk to serve in a ministry fulltime?  The answer is Jesus! For the love, joy and inner peace in my heart now is something I never experienced even at the height of my career when I had much recognition and was financially secure. There are still some painful issues in my life but I know Jesus will always keep His Promise - "Do not be afraid - I am with you! (Isaiah 43:5) Therein lies THE reason why there is a quiet courage in my heart to answer God's Call with the passion that burns ever-bright in my heart, mind and soul - "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

In a week, I will be celebrating my birthday. It brings to my mind vividly an experience that I have not forgotten. Thirteen years ago (in 2003), I had come for my 3rd personal retreat in Divine on my own. I had decided to spend my birthday in the Presence of Jesus. I do not remember anything else of this retreat except TWO lines I heard in the booming voice of Fr. Augustine Vallooran's homily on my birthday. "Remember every day you are one step closer to your tomb! Who and what are you living for?" I was thinking, "Oh God! Is that Your birthday message to me?" I guess it was as I still vividly remember this question on my birthday every single year since then!  I was literally shocked hearing it then. Now it seems amusing how Jesus challenged me to take a good hard look at my life. It was only before I flew back that I shared with Fr. Augustine of my birthday falling during the retreat and of his homily really giving me a jolt.

The YouTube music video above - "SOUL ON FIRE" by THIRD DAY, truly uplifts me when I listen to this song. I thank Jesus for this year He has revealed many Catholics whose souls are on fire to help our Divine-Potta mission proclaim God's Word to the ends of the earth.  

Each of us - you and I - should remember Pope Francis' words below...and be fearless!

DO WE CARE OF THE PAIN OF OUR WORLD'S REFUGEE CRISIS?: "TO THINK...TO FEEL..TO DO" - POPE FRANCIS

A very touching and humbling video of Syrian children refugees

This post is probably going to be contentious to some but I am not writing to point fingers at anyone for it is a struggle I have been experiencing personally in my own heart.  It has been growing stronger as the days go by. Am I one of the millions in the world just reading articles and viewing videos of the struggle to live and the dehumanizing treatment of the refugee crisis in Europe and Africa - yet I then just get on with my life wihout further thought?

It is of the effects of war and violence in the Middle East and Africa - the innocent people desperate to escape the unimaginable cruelty and killings - inhumane conditions that no human being should endure. Tonight (Saturday 16 April) I am viewing online  a news article with many photos of Pope Francis' 5-hour visit to the Lesbos migrant camp in Greece. I had tears in my eyes seeing the photos of the visibly emotional, desperate refugees reaching out to Pope Francis seeking the Holy Father's help -  the heart-piercing photo of a man weeping at his feet; I read of a young girl  doing likewise; of a young boy kissing the Holy Father's hand and youths reaching out to touch Pope Francis. Every touch and every look on the faces of each refugee pierced my heart - how can we get on with our lives thinking each of us cannot do something to help? This could have happened to me, to each of us! How would we feel at the indifference of the world? How would I feel if my family is dying and we just want a chance to rebuild our lives to live as a human being with freedom, dignity and hope?

I ask myself - what have I done? The Syrians, the Yazidis, the Libyans in Middle East and the Afghans all leaving their countries and risking their lives on overcrowded flimsy boats to reach a safe country in Europe - the continent closest for them to escape to. 

In Africa, we see the same plight of refugees in the Central African Republic, Somalia and South Sudan which stands close to 14.9 million refugees (UNHCR 2015 report)! Yet, they seem forgotten because the world media is focussing on the European refugee crisis. The African crisis has not been reported extensively because it is confined in Africa. The sufferings of the African refugees has not pierced the hearts of people globally as the world media is always Western-focussed. That is the REAL tragedy in Africa - the continued indifference of the rest of the world.    

It was so shocking to read two days ago that fishermen in Turkey had found the body of a young girl child (believed to be 3-years old)  in their fishing net. The recent news makes me wonder how inhuman can we humans be to one another - in the name of "religion", an entire generation is being wiped out around the world.

What are those of us living in safe countries and comfortable lives doing? Here I have been complaining of the weather being so humid and stifling instead of thanking God that I do not have to worry every single moment that my loved ones and I can be killed at any moment, to lose everything I have in life, to be exploited, to be so desperate  and hopeless that I will do anything to be able to live without fear. Looking at the Facebook postings, I often see postings of videos of dogs being abused having a loving home finally and I know how happy I am seeing these videos because I am a dog-lover. Yet i have not seen videos of the lives of the suffering refugees - to raise us to action in bringing joy in giving a life of hope, love and joy to our fellow human beings.

Perhaps the thought in your minds (just like the inertia I have been in thus far) is what can I, one ordinary person, do? I do not know how to help and this is too huge a crisis. That is what I had been thinking.  While my heart has been troubled, I have prayed for God to help the world's refugees. But I will be the first to admit, even my prayers seem lukewarm because I am focussed on petitions that have a closer, personal connection to my loved ones. friends' and our mission needs. There is nothing wrong with that but I know I can pray with a greater intensity with a more open heart and do something. It does not mean we do not support the needs of our own community. It is about having a true Christian heart  - to love until it hurts. Jesus will always be with each of us every step of the way. 

 "Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, 

to be generous and ready to share,"
(1 Timothy 6:18)

Each of us, as Catholics, can definitely do something more.  On Sept 6, 2015, Pope Francis' made a call to European Catholics after his Sunday address, "I appeal to the parishes, the religious communities, the monasteries and sanctuaries of all Europe...to take one family of refugees." Pope Francis has taken 3 refugee families back with him today to start a new life supported by the Vatican. Why can we not make the commitment to raise funds in each of our parishes in Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea, Australia, New Zealand, USA, and Canada to raise funds every month for the critical refugee crisis in Africa and MIddle East? We need to look beyond our individual parish needs.  We are Christ's disciples - the world is our family from God. We need to care and to act. If all working Catholics can set aside a little something financially ($5 or $20 or $50) each month as a parish community, we can help our suffering brothers and sisters. We should encourage children and teenagers to contribute something (even if it is only 50 cents or $1). What we can do is speak to our Bishops and parish priests - to connect with Catholic religious communities who are working closely with the refugees around the world. Let us not give up at the first sign of objection that we cannot raise funds. If so, let us do it amongst our circle of friends - this is a humanitarian cause that will touch the hearts of people of all faiths, agnostics and even atheists. It just takes time and effort to find out how we can channel the funds for a set period of time e.g. 3 years. For Catholics, we need to offer all our efforts covered by our daily prayers. God can do the impossible with our efforts no matter how small or insignificant it may be.  It might take just $1 to save the life of a starving person in a critical moment. We will never know what difference each of us makes but maybe when we are in our Heavenly Home (someday!), we will learn of the Christian difference we did make.

I have no idea what we can do. But today, I knew in my heart that even though I am a fulltime volunteer in a Catholic mission, I need to share what I have. Jesus has blessed me in so many ways and I cannot keep it for myself only. I will not be facing a situation of life and death sharing something of what I have to someone who REALLY needs it now to live another day. If any of my friends would like to join in the effort, just let me know. The least I can do is find out how we can send the donations to a Catholic religious community who can make best use of our support to help our fellow brothers and sisters. To God, we are all His children. He is not going to check out what their religions are and only help Christians! 

You can donate online to the Jesuit Refugees Services (JRS) who are on the frontline of the refugee crisis around the world  via the link below:

JESUIT REFUGEES SERVICES ONLINE DONATION PAGE

This is just one option. Please support the religious communities you know who are seving courageously to help the refugees worldwide. All of them need urgent financial support.

My hope and prayer is that each of us will pray for the Grace of God  "To Think...To Feel...To Act" as per the call of Pope Francis. Our Holy Father cannot do it on his own. Every one of us who are Christians need to live according to Jesus' commandment to us - "Love one another, just as I love you."  (John 15:12) It means getting out of our personal comfort zone, of our "myopic view" of only looking at our own parish, own community or own family needs and to reach out with a generosity of heart expecting nothing in return...except for love, peace and a life of dignity to every human being in our world. Instead of beautifying the structures of our church buildings, let us look at savng lives beginning In this Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy. For it is what Jesus is calling out to  the world - "Be Merciful Like My Father". 

All you and I need is TO BELIEVE in the Promise of Jesus to each of us:

"Nothing will be impossible for you."

(Matthew 17:21)

I hope the beautiful YOUTUBE video below, TO BELIEVE by Jackie Evancho  will inspire your heart to do the very best you can - as it did mine!

A BLESSED MIRACLE - "FOR NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD" (Luke 1:37)

Have you ever thought "maybe I am now getting old and should not aim to to take on new challenges?" Well, I certainly have. But thankfully it is usually just a short, fleeting phase before I realize one fact - only I can limit my goals and dreams and no one else! So if my heart is ready, nothing can stop me. The Promises in the Bible gives me confidence. I just wonder how I used to live my life never reflecting on the Bible daily before. It is inconceivable for me now.

It is what spurs me on to always be open to take on new challenges in my ministry. After all, age is not a factor with God, he chose Abraham to be a first-time dad when he was nearly 100! For each of us, there is God's Promise to us - "I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me." (Philippians 4:13) It is easy to stay in one's comfort zone but the zeal and determination in our heart will wane. We need to have a life mission to live for.

The key is to be filled with Christ's Joy for only then can others see the Light of Christ shine through us. Can you imagine if we Catholics went around looking sullen, arrogant and aloof? Who can we inspire? We just have to look at the apostles  - Paul and Silas were so joyful even when they were jailed and whipped! I hope I will have the grace to have that kind of courage. It can only come from the Power and Grace of God, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) 

Today 14 February is the 18th Anniversary when my Mum and I first came to attend our first retreat in Divine Retreat Centre. It is the best Valentine's Day gift in my life - a gift from Jesus when He revealed Himself to me in a very personal unforgettable way. From that day, I have a deep conviction that there is so much to live for and so much I need to achieve for the Glory of God. Many of us have experienced this special joy.  It is not about recognition from the world or from people knowing what we do in public. The deep fulfilment comes quietly into our hearts when we surrender EVERYTHING into the Hands of God - there is no need for any one to thank us "for we are ordinary servants; we have only done our duty." (Luke 17:10)  

There was an issue that was deeply troubling me these past couple of months. I felt distracted because there was no solution I could see to help me resolve it.  It was difficult to fully focus on my ministry though I did my best but the anxiety would pop up suddenly in my mind and heart. Until I did something that I have so often heard being proclaimed here in Divine Retreat Centre. I learnt to let go and place my trust in Jesus. I remember the day so clearly - it was 30 January 2016 -  when I began to claim these two Promises of God that the troubling issue would be resolved before year-end 2016 by a miracle of God. 

The two Promises were:

From God -" "For nothing is impossible for God." (Luke 1:37)

For me -  "Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:21)

When I totally surrendered to God and let my worries and anxieties to be in Jesus' Hands, something wonderful happened. When I least expected it, just one hour into Ash Wednesday (10 February 2016) at around 1.00 a.m., I had a message which resolved my anxiety-inducing problem. Praise God! I was stunned for I knew that this was a solution I would not even begin or dare to pray for! It was a miracle because the other party had no idea of my deep anxiety or worry. God showed me in an amazing way why He is God and truly nothing is impossible for Him! All I did was to believe in the first few bible verses I consciously asked Jesus to reveal for me to memorize His Word. Yes, it took me nearly 12 years in Divine before I asked for this gift from God. For those who do not believe in the Power of God's Word, these were the words from the Bible that spoke to my heart and gave me courage, faith and hope. 

"See that you fulfill the ministry that you received in the Lord." 

(Colossians 4:17)

"You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what he has promised." 

(Hebrews 10:36)

"They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles wings; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint." 

(Isaiah 40:31)

"Yet I consider life of no importance to me, if only I may finish my course of the ministry that I received from the LORD Jesus to bear witness to the gospel of God's grace." 

(Acts 20:24)

I joyously shared this good news with my Director that God had answered my prayers so swiftly beyond anything I could expect. I just had to share it with someone! I will always remember in my heart, Fr. Augustine's words of guidance when I shared with Father the first verse I have ever asked God for me to memorize! Father told me with firm conviction, "God will always answer your prayer when you fulfil the ministry He has chosen for you." My heart is in total peace. I have experienced how great God's Love is for me and the affirmation of the Call He has for me. I have received many blessings and graces in my ministry but this miracle is one I will truly treasure. It is a life-changer. There are personal mission initiatives I feel called to do in my heart and there is no age-limit or time-limit in God's Plan. So I know none of us is ever too old or too late to have goals and dreams for the mission Christ has for each of us. Jesus will be with each of us and that is enough - there is no turning back. 

in every aspect of life, we can expect God to intervene and help us. It is about letting go of our human will to be in control of our destiny and to remember "We place our destiny in the hands of the Lord, not in the hands of men, because his mercy is as great as his majesty." Our destiny is not in the hands of men. Our destiny is in God." (Sirach 2:18) 

On the 18th Anniversary of Jesus knocking on the door of my heart here in Divine Retreat Centre (14 February 1998), I lift my life up to Jesus with deep heartfelt thanksgiving and gratitude  for opening the eyes of my heart. 

On this special day, I share this joyous and uplifting YouTube music video below - "OPEN THE EYES OF MY HEART" by Michael W. Smith with all of you. It is a song I truly love. :) 

To Jesus be All Glory! 

2016 RETREAT REFLECTION - "TO TAKE UP THE JOYFUL CALL TO MERCY" (Pope Francis)

How time marches on...it seems like it is only a few years but this year, I would be thanking God for my 12th year in full-time ministry in Divine Retreat Centre. I can honestly say these have been years where I felt more joy in being part of the Divine-Potta ministry than all the achievements I had in my 16 years in the corporate world. It has been a life lesson in understanding the phrase - "Happiness is from the outside but joy comes from within."

January is the month when we usually have our Annual Retreat for Preachers, Counsellors & Volunteers who serve in Divine Retreat Centre. This year our retreat which was held from 27-31 January, 2016 was based on the theme - GOD'S MERCY. The theme did not surprise me. After all, Pope Francis declared the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy - "MERCIFUL LIKE THE FATHER"  in the universal Catholic Church that began from 08 December 2015 and will be until 20 November 2016.

First, I would like to share something that I believe is most important for every baptized Catholic to realize. Each one of us is called for a mission by Christ. This means we need to open our hearts to learn and understand what it means to live a vibrant life of faith in the Church, family life, school life, work life and community life - in fact in every aspect of our daily living. We cannot compartmentalize our Catholic faith to only the times we celebrate Holy Mass in church or serve in church ministries. We are always ready to attend training to improve ourselves in our secular jobs (for a very finite life on earth!), I often wonder why it it is so difficult to encourage even Catholics serving fulltime or in church ministries to make it a priority to "be still" for God to work in our hearts and lives for just five days annually in a spiritual retreat. We plan for holidays well in advance but mention a retreat and all sorts of reasons and excuses will abound as to why it is not possible  to plan to attend an annual retreat even in one's own city or retreat campus. We are ready to spend time building human relationships at work and in our social circles but to make time to deepen one's relationship with Jesus? That is not a priority. We are very good at asking Jesus for countless personal petitions but it is a one-sided relationship; forJesus rarely has a chance to speak to us as we have no time for Him to do so!

When does God have a chance to speak to our hearts in an intimate way? When will I listen to what God wants of me and not to assume that I know what God wants me to do? The start of our retreat really confirmed to me personally why a retreat is so very important to my spiritual growth. I find the two retreats I attend yearly truly recharges me for my personal ministry. Spiritual discipline comes from God's Wisdom not from my human wisdom. Our retreat began on the importance of each of us to desire and to attain God's Wisdom as we focussed initially upon the Word of God  Matthew 9:13 - ""Go and learn what it means that I want mercy and not sacrifice" and on the Book of Wisdom.

What a start to the retreat! I have to confess I never really reflected deeply on this Word of God or on the Book of Wisdom. As I heard our lay retreat director, Bro. Thomas Paul, begin by stating, "All we need to preach and all we do must be of the Mercy of God", I knew Our Lord's Hand had already begun to mould my heart.

It dawned upon me that Mercy is the Love of God in its highest form because when we are merciful, it is not possible to be judgemental, condemning or lacking in love. I had to examine my heart in all the ways I have the Pharisee-nature to be judgemental and self-righteous instead of being merciful to others. To be honest, even at this early point of the retreat, I realized I needed to truly open my heart for Jesus to give me the graces I needed to be a "Channel of His Mercy". Perhaps that is why I have felt so drawn to Pope Francis as millions of people around the world (Catholics and non-Catholics alike) are too. Pope Francis early on in his pontificate said, "Mercy is the LORD's most powerful message." And in our Holy Father, the Merciful Face of God the Father is being exemplified to each of us. All of us in the Catholic Church worldwide are challenged to be merciful - to stop being within the comfort zone of our own churches and ministries but to reach out to those who really need to hear the Good News of Christ and to experience Christ's Love. It has been something that had been stirring in my heart these past few years and in this retreat, I got the re-confirmation in my heart that it is definitely God's Call to me. Our Lord is revealing His Plan as I pray and discern with spiritual guidance. One of the things I have learnt in my ministry is to have the patience for when it is God's Time to do something. When the time is right, God blesses all the plans.  

To be merciful, I have to firstly have a heart and mind filled with God's Wisdom. It is not possible to be so from my human wisdom.  Well, to have Godly Wisdom, I need to have a deep, meaningful prayer life so that the Holy Spirit can give me a new understanding in my heart of God's Wisdom. Only then  will I experience  the radical change needed in me for my transformation. 

Jesus' Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-11) is a bible passage I have read in my personal meditations and heard many times in the Gospel readings during Holy Masses. Yet, I never understood until this retreat, how Jesus was actually explaining the Ten Commandments not just from the perspective of law (that the Pharisee took pride in following to the letter!) with a focus on "Thou shall not.." to how the Beatitudes begins, "Blessed are the...". The Beatitudes are all about God's Love and Mercy. It is how every Catholic should focus to live our faith so that we can truly say our lives are "Christo-centric".To be honest, only during this retreat, did I realize why the Sermon of the Mount is central to Jesus' teaching! It was like the "scales in the eyes of my heart" fell away so that these Word of God penetrated deep into my soul. "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." (Matthew 5:7) is so clear that I cannot expect God's mercy upon me unless I have mercy for others. Well, this is defintely a wake-up call not to take God's Mercy for granted. To think I take it so lightly that God should forgive me when I want Him to but I have not made it my Christian aim to be merciful to others.

Bro. Thomas Paul got us to reflect upon the fact that we are all called to be saints and our work for Christ does not end with what we do here on earth. To be a saint, we will always be working in our eternal life for the salvation of souls.  We must have a clear understanding of what we want to do after our death for there will be a lot to do - we need the Wisdom of God! 

The main purpose of a Christian is not going to Heaven but the main aim is to bring the Kingdom of God -'Righteousness, Peace and Joy of the Holy Spirit" (cf. Romans 14:17) into our hearts on earth and to continue it in heaven. This Word of God has been real to me for I have seen in the Vincentian Fathers and in my fellow lay volunteers here in Divine that when this Word of God is alive in us, we never feel tired and are full of zeal, peace and joy to do our ministry.  After all, where is the Kingdom of God? It is in our heart - yours and mine - for God lives in us. Praise God!

As Catholics, we at times have the tendency to focus on sin because then we need to remember those sins to go and confess them in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We need to change our perspective and not to focus solely on the sin (punishment) but on the Grace of God we will receive. Let us  cling to the Promise of God  - "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God." (Matthew 5:3)  When we turn to God in repentance, "poor in spirit" means our "nothingness" allows the Grace of God to fill our hearts so that we are spiritually strengthened. 

Let us truly heed the call of Pope Francis in "Misericordiae Vultus" - Bull of Indiction of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy - Feast of Divine Mercy  (11 April 2015):

13. We want to live this Jubilee Year in light of the Lord’s words: Merciful like the Father. The Evangelist reminds us of the teaching of Jesus who says, “Be merciful just as your Father is merciful” (Lk 6:36). It is a programme of life as demanding as it is rich with joy and peace. Jesus’s command is directed to anyone willing to listen to his voice (cf. Lk 6:27). In order to be capable of mercy, therefore, we must first of all dispose ourselves to listen to the Word of God. This means rediscovering the value of silence in order to meditate on the Word that comes to us. In this way, it will be possible to contemplate God’s mercy and adopt it as our lifestyle.

Wisdom, Faith, Love, Peace, Mercy - in this Jubilee Year of Mercy, I pray for each one of us (myself too) that we will open our hearts and mind for a deep infilling of the Holy Spirit so that we will be a "New Creation" in the image and likeness of Christ. In a world where there is so much hatred, negativity and "bad news", it is only when we share God's Mercy with everyone that the Light of Christ can overcome the darkness in our world. I cannot give up or expect the change for good to be done by others. The change begins first in my heart. For when I can live exemplifying God's Mercy, then I know that God's Love, Peace and Joy  is also within me shining out to others.

This has been a blessed and enriching retreat which has given me much to ponder and reflect upon over the coming months. i thank God for Bro. Thomas Paul whose joy and zeal for our Lord is so palpable, he is an inspiration!

The words of the late Nelson Mandela who had been a living inspiration to me best captures why God's Mercy should be an intrinsic part of my life from this day on:

"It is what difference we have made to the lives of others 

that will determine the significance of the life we lead."  

-Nelson Mandela-

May the YouTube music video below, "WE ARE CALLED" by David Haas, touch your heart as it did mine! 

CHRISTMAS IS GIVING YOUR HEART AWAY...ALWAYS!

The season I love the most -  Christmas the most joyous time of the year is just a few weeks away! As the holy season of Advent began, I realized very consciously this year how our hearts should be prepared as we await our Saviour - Jesus who is Divine Love! Is it not a pity that for some reason, it is often only during the season of Christmas that many of us including me, feel a greater openness in our hearts to bring Christ's  Hope, Peace, Joy and Love into the lives of others - within our families, friends and when we reach out to the poor, the sick and the marginalized.

I was listening to the beautiful and heart-touching song above "GIVE THIS CHRISTMAS AWAY" by Matthew West (with Amy Grant) and it was truly enlightening and uplifting. Let us make this Christmas a very special one...in a time when there is so much violence, hate and killings around the world, let each of us who are children of God fight back with a Revolution of Divine Love!  Jesus - we know Him as Son of God, our Lord, Our Saviour, our Messiah,  our Redeemer, our Good Shepherd and so forth. I have been meditating about what Christmas should really mean to me. I began praying for Jesus to speak to my heart about how to celebrate Christmas the way He would want me to.

Jesus our Divine Love! Whenever I picture Jesus in my mind and heart, it is always of the image of Jesus that we have in Divine Retreat Centre. From my very first retreat in Divine in 1998, I distinctly remember the joyful peace I felt in my heart just gazing intently at Jesus with His welcoming arms held high in open joyous welcome and the beautiful, gentle look on His Face. I was mentally, physically and spiritually drained at that time though I did not realize it. I was totally focussed on my career and the only time I had for Jesus was at the Sunday mass where my attention was on everything else but the homily and the reverent worship I should have had for the Eucharistic Celebration.  I just felt exhausted until Jesus revealed the greatness of His Love for me and for every person born on this earth. And to think when I first went to Divine Retreat Centre with my mother, we did not even know it was a retreat centre! Until today, I know that was most life-transforming week of my life...finding out personally that Jesus loves me as I am. the How dry and parched my soul was for the Holy Spirit to fill me and the Word of God to enrich me! This is what I hear constantly from many retreatants at the end of their Divine retreat - they feel so uplifted, unburdened and the joy of experiencing Jesus' Love personally is written all over their faces and in the spring in their steps! Life will never be the same for they have a personal God-experience to treasure in their lives. What can we do for this vibrant Divine Love to burn brightly in our hearts so that it will shine through us every day and not just during Christmas?

Many of us have heard one of the most well-known bible verses, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everybody who believes in Him may not die but have eternal life." (John 3:16) This is the greatest Christmas gift God our Father has given to each of us ...to you and to me. Hallelujah! Yet how often do we realize the magnitude of this amazing Promise of God to each of us?  I should be celebrating every day of my life in great joy because I have God's Promise of eternal life! Yet I am the first to admit that I often forget of this greatest priceless gift from God. In my daily life, I get irritated, anxious, worried, upset, sad and a variety of other negative emotions at loved ones, friends, colleagues or of wars and violence happening in the world. A number of people have expressed their worry to me that the world was ending and they were afraid as they asked me, "How do we explain why is God allowing all this to happen?" I do not know if any one has the answer that will satisfy every person. For me. I too felt that evil seemed so prevalent in recent years. What can I, a very ordinary Catholic do? What could all of us do this Christmas to make a REAL difference in our world?

As I was reflecting what Word of God that Jesus would most want me to share on this blogpost for Christmas, these are the sacred words my eyes fell upon - "'Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, [then] I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with Me. I will give the victor the right to sit with Me on My throne, as I myself first won the victory to sit with My Father on His throne. Whoever has ears ought to hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'" (Revelations 3:20-22)

This Word of God says it all. Let us truly open our hearts and our lives to Jesus not only for this Christmas but for every day of our lives! When Divine Love is in our hearts and we share it with everyone else around us, we can change the world to be a better place. The CHANGE begins with me. That is how we can spearhead the Revolution of Divine Love - who Jesus is all about - within our own communities this Christmas. It is time to put aside our judgmental views and attitudes and to put on the mind and attitude of Christ. How can we do this? St. Paul teaches us how to - "Do everything without grumbling or questioning, that you may become blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine like lights in the world, as you hold on to the word of life." (Philippians 2:14-16)  It all begins with our hearts being born again with the humility of Baby Jesus who was born in a broken down manger and wrapped in swaddling cloths. In the weekly Divine retreat, Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C., Director of Divine Retreat Centre, shares in one of his homilies, "To be a true disciple of Jesus, it is not enough that we hear the Word of God, we must live the Word of God. To do this we must pray and wait upon our Lord to show us the way we are to live." I never ever tire of hearing these words because each time I listen to this homily, my heart's resolve is strengthened as well as my zeal to live for Christ. Perhaps I need this weekly reminder to keep me on the right track. :)

Let us rejoice with our family, friends, colleagues, neighbours and communities of different races and religions the Joy, Hope & Peace of Christmas  - that began when Divine Love came down to earth. The world is our family in Christ for we are only pilgrims on this earth. We are citizens of Heaven! 

We need to joyously share the blessings we have with our fellow brothers and sisters who are in much greater need - who  are marginalized and who are voiceless in their struggles. When we give Christmas away, Jesus our source of Divine Love will fill our hearts with an over-abundance of His Love. Our hearts (and our bank accounts) will never run dry when we share what the Heart of  Christmas is all about.

My Mum and her two eldest grandchildren :)

This year, for the first Christmas in 12 years, I will be with my Mum on Christmas Day - 25th December in Malaysia. My siblings (each live in different countries) are all flying back too. I cannot recall when was the last time we had all spent Christmas together. it was likely when I was 11 years old! As we are a big family. From then on we all started studying overseas and then living in different countries. So this Christmas will be truly special for me - celebrating Christmas with my Divine Family during the Christmas Vigil Mass and celebrations and then flying back to Malaysia where I will reach in time for Christmas dinner with my own family. With joy, I thank Jesus for this amazing, wonderful Christmas grace to joyously celebrate with both my  families I hold close to my heart.

Let Christmas not be just a season  to celebrate but rather may the Spirit of Christmas live in our hearts always...so that we can give it away each day!

My Christmas wish for my family, friends, readers of this post and all people of goodwill is that the Heart of Christmas  - Jesus our Divine Love - will make each of us 

His "shining stars on earth" bringing Hope, Peace & Joy to the world each day!

Below is a YouTube pictorial video, "JOYFUL MEMORIES OF DIVINE CHRISTMAS 2014"  set to the heartwarming Christmas song, "HALLELUJAH (LIGHT HAS COME) by BarlowGirls.