2015 RETREAT REFLECTION: TRULY LIVING GOD'S PLAN- TO STAND UP AND DO SOMETHING!

Most of us have goals we spend much time and thought in terms of what we hope to achieve in our lives. And then we spend most of our life ensuring we achieve these goals - through studies, constant training, self-improvement courses and intense focus in achieving our career/life goals.  I will be the first to admit I am a goal-oriented person. For a long while in my nearly 11 years of full-time ministry, I felt at times that it perhaps was not right to be so. Why? At times, I was gently teased by others about the way I plan or my approach in my ministry service. Often I was told, "We have to be open and God will show the way." It made me question myself countless of times in personal prayer and meditation - "Why would God train me to be able to plan and achieve tough goals in my career and life and then this skill is not needed in my spiritual life?" Does being led and guided by the Holy Spirit mean one should not have goals in one's life anymore and just wait upon God?         

I have just recently attended our Annual Divine Retreat for Preachers, Music Ministers, Counsellors & Volunteers from 20-23 January 2015. This year, for the first time - we were give a choice to attend a retreat by two different retreat directors. At the last minute, I just felt compelled to attend the retreat by Colin Calmiano although I had signed up for the other retreat. How thankful I am for heeding my heart's prompting!

Last year, for once, I did not set clear annual goals for my ministry and it resulted in me feeling a little lost as the year went by for I was not focussing clearly my efforts to aim for the Christian mission that I have always felt God had called me for. I felt a vocal call within me shortly after my very first retreat in Divine on 14 February 1998. That was 17 years ago. Praise God! Suffice to say, 2014 was not an easy year for me. For with no clarity, there came along many doubts and questions in my heart. Questions which have been always surfacing in my heart during my entire ministry here.  It must be the same whether one is in full-time ministry or not. Each of us, if we really ponder and examine our hearts, have  "real and difficult" questions in knowing God's Call to us and in how we answer it! Well, first of all, one of the most important things I have learnt is that I needed to pray and wait upon the Lord. That does not mean I think God's mission for me will keep changing. It is not so.I believe I do know God's Call for me. It is what what has given me a real purpose in life these past 17 years.  The reason of for each of us being created and put on this earth will be clear to us through prayer and discernment. What will not be crystal clear is how does one go about to strive in achieving for our Christian mission goal.

Does one actually need to DISCERN and ACT on one's Christian mission goal? Well, each of us need to truly examine our hearts. If we put so much focus to achieve worldly  goals for our limited life on earth, how short-sighted are we if we do not give even greater importance to the goals we need to achieve for God's Mission in our life? 

Did Jesus have a mission goal for His Life on earth? The answer is most definitely YES! Jesus' sole focus to everything He did on this earth was to do the Will of His Father. That is why Jesus' example of daily personal prayer and fasting is so crucial to every Catholic. We must stay connected to God in a very personal way. We cannot serve Christ if we compartmentalize our faith. I did it for so many years! I put so much effort into achieving my career goals that my so-called Catholic faith was just between me and God in an insular way. My Catholic faith never featured in my life's goals. As I was posted to different cities and countries over the years, I did not really know the Catholics in the churches I did go to. It is a sad fact but unlike Christian churches, many Catholic churches are not known for being welcoming to new parishioners. I was often invited by Christians of different denominations to attend their services but I was never invited by a Catholic to join in the celebration of Holy Mass in their parish. Of course, the problem was with me too - I too was just an invisible Catholic thinking that if I supported the charitable and church needs financially when required, it was enough. I thought I was a relatively "good" Catholic. My faith was abstract. I had no real relationship with Jesus. I would feel little promptings to join a ministry when appeals were made in the church. Yet as we all know, it is never enough to have a good intention, one must act upon it!

It was at my first retreat in Divine in  February 1998 that I finally faced the life-changing questions - "What is my commitment to Jesus? Why am I a Catholic?" I lived another six years in Singapore and it is where I learnt how important personal prayer and Holy Mass was for my personal journey of faith. I had no Spiritual Director or spiritual mentor. It was a blessed grace that together with a group of Catholic friends, we prayed together monthly and had fellowship. I thank God DAILY for these Catholic friends of mine who are so much part of what I am today. They were my spiritual companions when I most needed to experience Jesus in my life as together we tried to learn to live for Christ.

Fr. Mathew Naickomparambil V.C - the Spearhead of our Divine-Potta ministry has always emphasized an important aspect for each of us to live a life pleasing to God - "No spiritual ministry or project will ever go anywhere without there first being Personal Prayer and Intercessory Prayer. It is crucial to have an infilling of the Holy Spirit within each of us before we can step up to be empowered and willing to move forth for Christ. We need to truly belong to a church community or prayer group to live our faith." It took me a number of years here in Divine before I understood and realized how prophetic Fr. Mathew's words are!  

Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C., our Director's homily on the first day of this retreat  truly knocked on the door of my heart. Fr. Augustine said, "There are no "GREATS" in the Kingdom of God...All of us have a heavenly mark in our souls - chosen for a mission in the Church."  Father further  pointed out that when Jesus asked Simon Peter the same question three time -  " Simon  son of John, do you love me more than these others do? " Jesus did not ask Peter, "Will you feed my sheep?  Only when Peter committed himself totally to Jesus. "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you!" That is when Jesus  said to him, "Follow me!"   That is what is so crucial in our life - yours and mine. Our commitment is to Jesus! My fidelity is to Jesus who called and appointed me to serve. My fidelity is to serve Jesus joyfully.Every service is a service to the Lord."

As I heard Father's exhortation, it dawned in my heart that - no matter what I  do on this earth - from now on, what is truly important is that I do not lose my focus on living for Jesus EVERY moment! In whatever sphere of my life - be it in ministry or personal life, what I do must have a spiritual action plan to aim for my spiritual mission in life. Perhaps that is why St. Paul referred to living our Christian faith as running towards the goal - the goal is to always STRIVE "to win the prize, which is God's Call through Christ Jesus to the life above (cf. Philippians 3:12-14). To do that, we must train our hearts and mind to be able to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. The Voice of God is gentle - we need to train our hearts to be silent. To do so, we must have the discipline to have daily personal prayer and meditation and partaking of the Sacraments of the Church as often as we can. Yes, many Catholics pray but it is often a recitation of devotional prayers and novenas - always asking God for something for ourselves or our loved ones only! Are we making time in our lives to ponder, meditate and allow God to speak to our hearts - how we can achieve His mission for us on earth? In fact, we need to pray and discern our Call. God will reveal His Plan.

Here I have to share an important fact based on my journey in trying to answer God's Call. When I was asked to serve full-time in the Divine-Potta Ministry, I was never told what I would be doing in the ministry. All I was told was that the Directors had prayed individually and agreed that "God has a Call for you to serve full-time in the ministry and that God will slowly reveal His Plan for you." It was a brief discussion and to my great surprise I found myself saying a simple "Okay" and getting a huge smile from Fr. Augustine. Why was I able to? It was not a spur of the moment answer. I had been praying intensely for over two years to discern how God wanted to me serve Him. But I never ever imagined or entertained the idea of full-time ministry. My career was my whole life!  In my prayer journal, I had written down bible verses which showed clearly God was calling me to serve Him and in my notes, one of the sentences was "Father (Fr. Augustine) will ask you." I had written this on 14 September 2004 (Feast of the Triumph of the Cross) and Father asked me on 11 October 2004. So though I was unprepared (to be truthful I did not understand or even think of the message until Father asked me), it is why I could give a nearly instant "YES" answer without any detailed questions. My soul was ready! There was no need to ask nitty-gritty questions for I knew after my first retreat what my personal Christian mission was in my heart. I felt a great peace and inner joy within. What was needed  was that I take the leap of FAITH - the action to live my mission. 

To answer God's Call, it takes trust. I certainly do not even consider I had the faith of a tiny part of a mustard seed. Looking back, I believe, what was important was my desire and openness of heart to trust Jesus to lead me by the hand. I did not ask Fr. Augustine what I would do within the Divine-Potta ministry.  I did not demand to see or know all the "i's" and "t's" dotted out clearly in God 's Plan for my life in India. If I were to wait for that, I would definitely still be where I was in Singapore even now - for I would never have the courage to live the life I have had the past 11 years. It was very difficult for my family to accept my decision or understand why I would choose to do this. I think now they are resigned to it as I have chosen this life for 11 years now. :)

Has God placed a call or a spiritual goal/mission for you to achieve in your life? All of us will have a spiritual mission if we are a baptized Catholic. The question is whether we have actually bothered to truly have an open two-way relationship with God and commit ourselves to action as per Jesus' final command to every Christian - "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all mankind." (Mark 16:15) 

Colin Calmiano spoke so passionately during the retreat of how he answered and has lived the Call of God to him to be a full-time lay preacher.  Imagine doing that - there is no salary, medical benefits, insurance coverage, pension benefits! It is a life totally dependent on God's Providence and Grace. Colin is just a bundle of joyous energy and passion for Christ! He is committed to serving God and yet he leads a balanced life in his commitment to his marriage and his children too.  Even when he was in the corporate world in the IT industry! So Colin knows the struggle to try and serve God in the secular world and how he was faithful - never putting his commitment to Jesus after his worldly goals.  When, he heard God's Call after 12 years to preach the Word of God, Colin and his wife did not hesitate. They began praying about it in personal prayer and as a couple and God revealed His Call to them.(Colin's son Michael is a special needs child). God is ever faithful! Today, Colin is a much sought-after and inspiring Catholic lay preacher worldwide. We count Colin as part of our Divine Family as he is often here to proclaim God's Word during Divine's special retreats.

There are a multitude of ways to serve God. Jesus needs each of us. He has made each of us unique - to  build up the Kingdom of God here on earth. We cannot all be doing the same thing. The best way is to be part of a Catholic community in church or having a circle of committed Catholic friends who will pray and have regular joyful fellowship together. Prayer is the "spiritual glue" that keeps our heart and mind centred on Christ and with each other for the dream God has placed in our hearts - that is the Promise of God's Word.  "Again I say to you, that if two fo you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father in heaven." (Matthew 18:19)

We are called to ACT and LIVE our faith. You and I are all called be the "Lights in the World" (Philippians 2:15) and "Salt of the Earth" (Matthew 5:13). How open and ready are we to do something for God? Or is it always the excuse that we are busy with work and family commitments? Are we expecting others to do something? What about you and me? When we open our hearts to Jesus and have the desire, nothing can stop us from achieving great dreams for Christ. For the Word of God promises, "My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Committed Catholics are needed in every sphere of life e.g. political, legal, medical, financial, educational and sporting fields. Hence a Catholic has really no excuse to say "I am too busy to serve God" - you and I have to serve and live for Jesus wherever we are. It is not about thumping bibles or keep preaching about God. It is about living and exemplifying Jesus' Presence in us. What did I gain most from this annual retreat by Colin?  It is about the  IMPORTANCE of having DISCIPLINE, INTEGRITY and GOALS for GOD's SPIRITUAL PLAN in my life. It is about PERSEVERING until I reach the gates of Heaven. Jesus is never going to force any of us. His Love is so great that He gives us free will. Yet, our human will often takes precedence. When our lives are hectic, I often hear people saying they have given up their church ministry as the first thing to be stopped. It is not their gym sessions (which is more than once a week), watching television, evenings out with friends or networking for their careers. The one morning or night a week they would spend a few hours serving God is the first to be cut out. So what really is the priority in life - the world or God? Why not take a break from the gym or other social activities instead? I love this quote of Rick Warren - "Faithful servants never retire. You can retire from your career, but you will never retire from serving God."

This retreat further strengthened my heart's conviction that the dream I believe our Lord has placed in my heart is the CONSTANT in my life. I need to fully respond as Jesus did on earth - "To do the Will of My Father."Everything else in life pales in comparison. What truly matters is fulfilling God's Desire and Plan for my life. It is a life-long goal and I need to put my best effort into this important life mission. I cannot be doing just the same things I first did when I became aware of God's Call. Much prayer, discernment, discipline,  character, integrity and spiritual creativity is needed to constantly challenge myself to strive for the main prize - running the best race in my journey of faith. It means giving top priority to God's Plan in my life not on my worldly personal plans. Have I been procrastinating? Have I been spiritually lazy to put off goals I feel called  in my heart to do for our Lord? Have I put Jesus as the centre of my life? Have I truly prayed and discerned what Jesus is asking of me and seeking His Blessings and Guidance to help me plan? Have I prayed for all my friends with whom I will be serving together for our Lord? Being a Catholic is being a community - we have to learn to unite our prayers and serve together.

Nothing on this earth will matter as much as living for our Heavenly Father who created us - you and me - for the manifestation of His Glory. We leave behind everything else on earth when we die. All we can take is how we lived striving endlessly with Joy, Zeal and Commitment to fulfill our personal Christian mission on earth. Each of us have a Christian mission - what and how you and I respond to God's Plan in doing His Will in our life will be the final answer we get when we complete our finite earthly life.

The YouTube music video at the top of this post - "DO SOMETHING" by Matthew West truly galvanized my heart. I think it will be my 2015 personal ministry theme song - to spur me on. Eternity beckons...

Prayer keeps our sight focused on God, so that the more prayerful one’s life is, the more one is aware of God’s call, His plan, and His promise. A life rooted in prayer is a life lived in the context of God’s grace.

---from St. Anthony Messenger

"WE MUST LEARN TO LIVE TOGETHER AS BROTHERS OR PERISH TOGETHER AS FOOLS" - Martin Luther King Jr.

YouTube video: A SONG OF PEACE written by Teresa Jennings

2015 has barely started and all the joy and goodwill we have experienced over the Christmas season just seems torn apart by the killings in France at a controversial French magazine and at a Jewish delicatessen. The violence and killings have truly shocked the world! And then to read of the massacre of 2500 innocent people in Nigeria by the Islamist extremists - Boko Haram! I felt shocked and numbed when I first read what was happening on the Internet - what have we human beings become? When has the value of a life become so dispensable? Do we need to antagonize people with different beliefs or values for the sake of freedom of speech? And do we believe that taking a life created by God is honouring Him? Since when is there a God who said killing is pleasing to Him? Only God has created human life and only He has the right to take back a human life on earth...to grant a person Eternal Life.

I mourn the execution of so many innocent lives. The brutality and violence is inhuman and it is truly evil. Even animals do not do this to their own species or to other species. Even more, I totally abhor the evil violence where for supposedly the sake of God, men can just murder innocent people going about living their daily life with absolutely no thought, compassion or conscience that the innocent victims are someone's grandfather/ grandmother/ father/ mother/brother/sister/husband/colleague/friend who was loved, cherished and belonged to a family and a community.

I also do not agree that in the name of freedom of speech, we are allowed to do anything. The Word of God reminds us to live a life pleasing to God  and to live guided by His Spirit:

"Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, 

but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. 

Then you will be able to know the will of God - 

what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
(Romans 12:2)

To choose to express one's freedom of speech that one knows does deeply offend the people of a different faith is not what Jesus has taught us. He died on the Cross to save everyone on earth - no exceptions! Why are there now people living in this century so filled with hate, fear and distrust of one another? Why is hate allowed to be preached so openly yet saying a prayer in a school or at work strictly banned?  Evil abounds and is allowed unfettered but prayers and the goodness inherent in living's one faith values is being totally crushed. As Christianity is diminishing in Europe at a rapid rate, Islam is growing rapidly. While a quiet majority of Muslims are moderates, they are unable to be united to speak up against the extremists who believe their killings and violent acts are in accordance with their Islamic faith. Where is the respect and tolerance for diversity - in faith, race, beliefs, values and dreams? The world is big enough for ALL of God's Creation.  

"When in the beginning the Lord created human beings, he left them free to do 

as they wished. If you want to, you can keep the Lord's commands.

You can decide whether you will be loyal to him or not."

(Sirach 15:14-15)

I ask myself - when have we forgotten that we are all children of God? God did not create just one race or religion....he created the whole world and every single person who has lived, is living now and will live in future! I believe the breakdown in our  human value system started when people and families started turning away from the need of of having a relationship with God in their families, in schools, workplaces and in governments. It was in the practice of our Christian faith, that children and families learnt the true meaning of good and evil - that human life is sacred and of what is right and wrong in God's Eyes. All that has been cast aside in the push to secularism where relativism is the goal. Where does the current generation learn the right values? How can moral conscience be nurtured? There is a need to respect that every single person has a right to practice their faith without fear regardless of which corner of the world...and to live without fear. If God has given each one of us the freedom of choice, how can anyone take it away? This is the fundamental right of every Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu and people of every religious faith. The world needs to take heed of the wisdom-filled words below of Pope Saint John Paul II  who exhorted the world 30 years ago! 

“When the conscience is weakened the sense of God is also obscured, and as a result, with the loss of this decisive inner point of reference, the sense of sin is lost. This explains why my predecessor Pius XII, one day declared, in words that have almost become proverbial, that "the sin of the century is the loss of the sense of sin."

Pope Saint John Paul II

Apostolic Exhortation “RECONCILIATION AND PENANCE”

dated 02 December 1984

It is time to stop just gaining knowledge of our faith only and feeding our intellect of being model Catholics within our parishes or only giving our viewpoints on social media. What are we doing ourselves to make a CHRISTIAN difference with a committed zeal? Jesus was a radical. We need to be radical in how we are "His Army of Love" on earth - to spread the Good News! Pope Francis exhorts us to get out of our comfort zones as Catholics!

We need to be honest with ourselves. We are passive and expect others to proclaim the Gospel to the ends of the earth while we continue with our lives to gain wealth, status and recognition in our work and church ministries and just focusing on our own little safe countries. We cannot be lukewarm as the Word of God warns us, "I know that you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were one or the other! But because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold. I am going to spit you out of my mouth!" (Revelations 3:15-16)

We need to FEEL with our hearts for all our brothers and sisters -we are global citizens of Heaven not just of one earthly country. It is time to open our ears and heart to hear and respond wholeheartedly to the Call of God - "Feed my sheep!" and "Love one another as I love you." and we need to prove it as long as we live on this earth. That is our sole mission from God. God will not care if we are rich or famous or the most influential person on this planet. Help each one of us, Lord, to live our Christian mission!

(Pope Pius XII made his statement in 1946 to the United States Catethetical Congress.)

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

(Romans 12:21)

THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS - TREASURE JESUS IN OUR HEARTS!

Christmas - the season that I love the most is here again! Usually I would have been very busy in the run-up to the Christmas Midnight Mass but it seemed that it would not be quite so this year - or so I thought. And then I got the news that my mother was hospitalized in Penang, Malaysia! Within a few hours, I was on a flight bound for Singapore where I would have to buy a ticket to fly on to Penang. 

I had time to think of all the Christmases I had with my family - how Christmas was always so special especially when I was with my parents and enjoying all our family Christmas traditions and my Mum's wonderful cooking! Yet, it is now my 11th Christmas away from my immediate family and friends and how I used to spend the season of Christmas. 

Have you ever stopped to wonder how you have celebrated Christmas in different stages in your life? Have you ever pondered what the meaning of Christmas means to you as the years go by?  Well I have. :) As a child, it was always a season of wonder - new clothes, presents, going for midnight mass where everyone was dressed in new clothes and the church seemed so different and beautiful with Christmas decorations at night! Then there would be the Christmas carolling and the Nativity Play....it was just a special experience as a child. What's more my parents and siblings would all be in a joyous mood getting ready for church and the celebration when we came home! As a student overseas, it was more about Christmas parties and being with friends during the festive season. It was a carefree time for me and my circle of friends. Christmas was about celebrating friendships though I would miss my family terribly on Christmas Day. I would always cry after I called home. In those days, I could only call home on special occasions and Toronto, Canada seemed like a million miles from my hometown in Malaysia. When I was working in Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong, I made it a point to drive/fly home by Christmas Eve - where I spent the entire day before the Midnight Mass making a crib and decorating our family home and our dogs' home too! I remember I only did not go home once...when I went to be with one of my brothers in London, England. For me, I always wanted my Christmas to be with my parents - seeing the joy in them was what made Christmas so special for me.

Well, since 2004, I have been here in Divine Retreat Centre for Christmas. Why did I do so? I just felt strongly it is a time to bring some joy and cheer to the residents (especially the orphan children!) of all the Divine Homes run by Divine Charitable Trust with Christmas goodies! For me personally, it is the deep vivid joy and and peace I experience celebrating the very special Presence of Jesus here in Divine. Christmas and other Church liturgical celebrations are often so vibrant and meaningfully celebrated here. It is not about presents and lots of fine dining and visiting friends and relatives anymore for me. Now Christmas helps me treasure all the wonderful gifts God has given me - my family, good friends, good health and so many interesting and challenging experiences through our mission. More importantly, with each Christmas here, I am learning to treasure the Spirit of Christmas in my heart every day - not just for this holy Christmas season.

Today, as I was listening to the morning mass homily by our director, something truly struck my heart. Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C. was sharing about what Christianity really is about. Father said, "Christianity is not about rules; it is not about following laws. Christianity is about the splendour of the Holy Spirit working in our personal lives and in our communities." I just felt my heart and mind react deeply hearing these words. I am sure I have probably heard  Father share this point before but for some reason, today, it touched my soul. Have I truly appreciated the splendour, the awesome wonder of Jesus my Saviour, my King, my God, coming so humbly into my wretched heart each day especially Christmas?  

I felt a quiet joy and gratitude to God despite having had to leave my Mum just before Christmas. What a beautiful gift I did get when I least expected it! I had spent eleven days with my mother - experiencing her great love and being with my youngest sister who flew in from Melbourne for about 6 days to help care for my Mum too. This was a precious "early" Christmas gift Jesus gave us - a special time together. As I was saying goodbye to my Mum, my heart was filled with an inner peace, seeing with my own eyes, the deep joy, serenity and inner peace that is so visible in my Mum. We worry endlessly how she is because most of my siblings and I live in different countries. This Christmas season, Jesus was showing me in a very tangible way,  He was taking care of my mother - more than any of us can humanly do so! It was about learning to let go of my human fears and truly understanding that Christmas is all about God's True Love coming into the world and waiting to enter our hearts. I saw this "Heavenly Treasure" become a reality in my mother. I realized with profound humility how much my mother is loved and being protected and cared for by Jesus. My mother's peace and quiet grace of all that she is going through in this period of her hospitalization and recuperation has somehow brought an acceptance and peace into all her children's hearts too. 

Often the love of our parents and siblings are the closest examples of  the true meaning of Christmas. It is not of being always physically present (though that matters too!) but of taking the time to reach out and keep in touch daily with my mother who treasures these daily contact with her children. I thanked God many times for WhatsApp and Skype these past few weeks. Otherwise, I would have had a huge bill keeping in touch with my siblings! I look back with gratitude to the family get-together we had after over 18 years last September in Penang. I have had joyous fellowship shown to me by some close friends when I came back to Singapore and Kuala Lumpur this year. And most of all, I have felt the love of being part of the Divine-Potta community. It is hard to explain because it is not like your own family yet we are still "family" - an inter-twined, extended family of God! We do have our differences but we are closely united in our love to serve Jesus through this Divine-Potta mission. There is another great blessing from God. We  are uplifted and affirmed meeting so many wonderful people from around the world and India who are transformed by our mission's evangelization and charitable efforts. They go forth to share the treasure they discover here - "the true Spirit of Christmas" - which is opening our hearts to the Presence of Jesus in our daily lives. 

My prayer this Christmas is for every person in the world to live in good will with one another - to treasure the Goodness of God in every person. For those we have difficulty loving, I pray each of us to receive God's grace to pray for them and for ourselves too!  

For the Presence of Jesus to be truly tangible in us, the change begins first with me! May the Spirit of Christmas burn brightly in our hearts always. 

The YouTube music video above - EMMANUEL HAS COME by DON MOEN is a beautiful hymn of what the true Spirit of Christmas is.

Wishing all my family, friends amd readers of this blog a 

Blessed, Joyous & Holy Season of Christmas!

"TO BELIEVE IS DARING TO LIVE ALWAYS WITH COURAGE"

Courage? What is it? Is it a gift of God just for certain people? Surprisingly, often even in mission work (just as in working in the secular world), many of us are willing to turn a blind eye - for the sake of peace, for the sake of our job or ministry security, for political correctness...not to be the one "to create the waves" when at times waves are needed.

Well, I have always admired people with courage who lived for a principle that transcended all faiths and race because they lived for a Godly purpose. We just have to look at Nelson Mandela - who was a "prisoner of conscience" for 27 years in South Africa. He wanted to end apartheid. it took a toll on his life and his family. But Mr. Mandela never wavered but believed so passionately for the freedom of black people in South Africa that he was willing to sacrifice his personal freedom. His words have always inspired me personally - "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

To be a Christian is to live a life of courage every day of our life - wherever we are. If we are followers of Christ, we know being mediocre, being politically correct and putting worldly values (e.g.money, fame, popularity, power) over Godly values (e.g. truth, integrity, peace, compassion, justice)  is not what is expected from any one of us. If I am a Christian, I must dare to live every day with courage for Jesus. Why? Because God expects me to! 

"Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect."

(Romans 12:2)

"So let us not become tired of doing good; for if we do not give up, the time will come when we will reap the harvest."

(Galatians 6:9)

There are many bible verses which call every Christian to live a life of courage.There are times in my 10 years of ministry when I have felt discouraged, misunderstood, or compelled to speak up when no one else was willing to do so.  I have just chosen the two bible verses above that have always inspired me to persevere and not give up. It is what gives me the courage not to compromise or settle for second-best in how I live and serve God. All God wants is for each of us to rejoice as we live the mission He lovingly created us for. That means a life of unselfish love (agape) where the Fruit of the Spirit is manifested in us.

"But the Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control. There is no law against such things as these."

(Galatians 5:22-23)

Our home is not here on earth. We are pilgrims and our journey ends when we reach our Eternal Home - to be with Jesus! There was a question that our retreat director, Fr. Rex Pai SJ, asked us to ponder upon during our Volunteers' Retreat in January this year. He said in making a decision or in choosing to do something, we should ask ourselves. "What would Jesus do if He was in my shoes?" Well this question has really made an impact on me. It has taught me to slow down and not to react, to be calmer and to try to do what is right in our Lord's eyes. Most importantly, I am even more determined not to be mediocre or afraid to venture into new challenges to help in proclaiming the Gospel to the world. For God has promised His Grace for each one of us - what more does one require?

"My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” 

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Ultimately, the one question we have to ask ourselves is "Do you believe in Jesus?" If our answer is "YES", we will have no fear to do what is right in all aspects of our life despite our fears - " If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

I hope the you find the music video above, "FIND YOUR COURAGE" by Margie Warrell. Author/Life Coach, as uplifting and affirming as I did.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi

THE CAMINO DE SANTIAGO (WAY OF ST. JAMES), SPAIN- A Journey of Faith

There are some things I have always wanted to experience at least once in my life for example skydiving - feeling the exhilaration of doing something really different from my everyday life; to experience a small group live-in retreat in the beautiful town of Assisi, Italy - a place I truly fell in love with 12 years ago but most of all a dream I had for over 20 years...to one day complete the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James)! Why? Because I always felt drawn to the idea of discovering who God was to me and this long walking pilgrimage seemed just what would help me discover God in a personal way. The St. James Way walking pilgrimage was my one greatest desire to achieve as a Catholic since I was in my mid-twenties! Last year, I thought I had to finally drop these dreams as being a volunteer, I had to be practical...yet the yearning persisted in my heart.  

Brendan Pereira, whom I really felt blessed to meet through his sister, Carol, a very dear friend in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia last month has just completed the Way of St. James  or the Camino de Santiago as it is known - a major Christian pilgrimage in Spain. I was really eager to know of Brendan's experience which he and his wife, Kherk Ying, were about to start  a couple of days after I met him - with a Malaysian priest and a group of lay Catholics. It would be the first time I actually know a person who has done this pilgrimage!

This post is of Brendan's beautiful personal sharing which truly touched my heart and given me much hope NOT to give up on this first pilgrimage dream of mine. I now intend to make the Way of St. James a reality in my life - no ifs or buts. 

It is also a sharing that will make each of us to look into our hearts and our lives too - as we too are pilgrims on this earth until we reach our Eternal Home.    

ARE WE PREPARED? ARE WE READY?

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What is the Way of St. James like? Was it inspiring? Did you ever feel like giving up? Did it get all too much? Was it worth it? Would you do it again? Did you feel the Presence of Jesus?

So many questions...It is difficult for me to capture all what I saw, smelt, heard and felt from Ponfredda to Compostella - a distance of more than 220 kms covered in pelting rain, pitch darkness, brilliant sunshine and , sometimes, numbing cold. But let me try.

At one level, my way of St. James was a snapshot of the 50 years of my life - the exhilarating; the tough, frustrating; annoying, surprising; comforting; challenging but ultimately, fulfilling!

On a spiritual level, it was not spectacular. Nor was there a moment when it all made sense, “an epiphany”. But everywhere around was the Presence of God! It was in the face of a loving priest who exuded the Joy of God and the Joy for God to all; it was in the loving concern of an American pilgrim who after covering more than 500 kms and carrying  the strain of a crumbling marriage, still found the energy and patience to  answer questions on the Catholic faith from a lapsed Catholic and a couple of atheists.   It was in the action of a young woman who chose to accompany a limping pilgrim along a longer but less punishing route. It was in the welcoming smile and generosity of an innkeeper in the back of beyond in Rufela who not only offered a few glasses of potent liquor to a clutch of pilgrims from Malaysia but also treated a sufferer with Alzheimer's with such grace.

It was in the serenity of so many pilgrims, that God never left their side when the going got tough and painful.It was in the kind face of 80-year-old Australian, Tony Andrews, who never failed to greet fellow pilgrims with a comforting word despite being in excruciating pain himself as he ticked off his bucket list wish of doing the Camino de Santiago once in his life.

As Blessed Paul VI noted, "Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses. Saint Peter expressed this well when he held up the example of a reverent and chaste life that wins over even without a word those who refuse to obey the Word...it is therefore primarily by her conduct and by her life that the Church will evangelise the world."

There were witnesses aplenty to our Great God on the road!

And this journey gave me the opportunity to experience the goodness all around us. Because of the nonsense in Malaysia, the excesses, the religious and racial intolerance, there is a real danger of falling into an abyss of despair; of allowing the pall of negativity to cripple our thinking and turn us into cynics; of not trusting in the light and power of God; of not believing that each of us can be instruments of light and love for those around us.

But every one of the Malaysian pilgrims on the Camino de Santiago had an abundance of goodness and virtue to share. No doubt, each was searching for something on the journey and I am not sure if everyone got what they were looking for.But they were not self-absorbed in their own little world, content to shut out the others.

I have to talk about Fr. Simon Yong and my fellow pilgrims because my main take-away from the pilgrimage was this: we are never alone and God will always provide for us on this journey Home. Make no mistake, the journey will not be a walk in the park and often it can feel lonely.

Just ask Theresa. She walked the first stage of the final stretch in pitch darkness, sometime unsure where the next step would take her. Both her hands were occupied with walking sticks and had to depend on others for light from torchlight. But because we were all walking at different speeds, she found herself alone in unfamiliar territory.   Yet, she was calm. Why? Because she just felt the Presence of God, the God who had been beside her and guiding her.

For every one of us, the trek from Villafranca to O Cerbiero on day 2 was the toughest. Not only did it involve a 1000=metre climb but the distance covered was long and the weather, unforgiving. Rain, rain and more rain in terrain so daunting that Eleanor felt that had anything happened to her, finding her body would have been a challenge!

Still, all recalled that even in the most trying times on Day 2, help seemed to materialise from somewhere - from the taxi driver who suddenly provided relief for blister-laden Sophia or the farmer who offered three other pilgrims a ride.

There were lessons all around on Day 2. For me, it was the sobering thought that in my haste to reach the destination, I had somehow forgotten about my fellow pilgrims. I was too preoccupied with my journey that I forgot about my fellow sojourners who were struggling with the elements, poor signage and a bagful of emotions. In life, the danger of thinking about self is ever present. How often have I walked on, unconcerned over the difficulties felt by a neighbour, relative or church member?

But thankfully as Catholics, there is always a chance for redemption. Always an opportunity to embrace humility. And at the mass on Day 3, Fr. Simon - who was also part of the group that reached O Cebeiro first - offered an apology to those who were left behind.

Speaking about Fr. Simon, it was a true privilege and joy to be shepherded by one of God's own. It dawned upon me that we were one of very few who were travelling with a priest, a spiritual director. So we could celebrate mass everyday. We could pick his brain at meal time or during the walk. Sometimes, it is easy to take the good things in life for granted.

And we could witness first hand what it means to bring the Joy of Christ to strangers. I mean, Fr. Simon spoke to everyone on the route. Everyone! Most of the time, it was just banter. A joke here (don't give up your day job, Father) and a laugh there but always with the aim of bringing others into our fold.

And when he realized that someone was in despair or needed more than a few lines, he dropped back and walked with that person. One American pilgrim missed Sunday mass and requested for Confession. No problem! Fr. Simon walked along with him and heard his confession.

It is too easy to take our priests for granted; to complain about their homilies, to compare and pass judgement. But maybe a better option for us is to pray for more holy priests and thank God that He has blessed us abundantly over the years with those we have in our parishes.

Thank you, Fr. Simon and thank you Thomas, Fayene, Ka Imm, Veronica, Theresa, Mary, Sophia, Lynn, Eleanor and of course, Kherk Ying. Every one of you made the walk a fuller and richer experience for me. Thank you for your generosity in sharing your God-given gifts.

Years from now, I will still remember the beautiful voice of Fayene, shouting Mary's name in the forest for a good few minutes, the outdoor mass on Sunday and "war stories" told every night at the dinner table. I won't miss the grinding of someone's teeth and certainly not this line: "Hola is the name of a fat woman from Norway."

I will never forget Kherk Ying's first day. Didn't she suffer for the last 9 km on Day 1? The build-up of lactic acid in her legs made each step excruciating. But she persevered and far from being discouraged, wants to do the Camino in a couple of years, this time better prepared. She has already joined a gym and has a training session once a week at 7 am!

When I walked into the Cathedral in Compostella, it felt good, a pilgrim at the finish line of a long walk. Just imagine what it would feel when our pilgrimage in this life is over and we are welcomed into eternal life!

I conclude with a few verses of the PILGRIM'S PRAYER. It is so meaningful and provides a road map for our continuing journey through life's highs and lows.

"Although I may have shared all of my possessions 

with people of other languages and cultures; 

Made friends with Pilgrims of a thousand paths, or shared albergue with 

saints and princes, 

If I am not capable of forgiving my neighbour tomorrow, 

I have arrived nowhere.

"Although I may have had food and water each day

And enjoyed a roof and shower every night;

Or may have had my injuries well attended,

If I have not discovered in all that the love of God, 

I have arrived nowhere.

"Although I may have seen all the monuments

and contemplated the best sunsets;

Although I may have learned a greeting in every language or tasted the 

clean water from every fountain

If I have not discovered who is the author

of so much free beauty and so much peace

I have arrived nowhere

"If from today I do not continue walking on your path

searching and living conditions to what I have learned;

in from today I do not see in every person, friend or foe

a companion on the Camino;

If from today I cannot recognize God,

the God of Jesus Nazareth

as the one God of my life,

I have arrived nowhere.”

God Bless always and let us remember each other in prayer

Brendan

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The touching music video at the top of this post, "CAMINO DE SANTIAGO - THE PILGRIM's SONG" is by Cecelia Samartin, a best -selling novelist who was born in Havana, Cuba and resides in Los Angeles, USA.  

P.S. "Albergue" is similar to hostel accommodation

FATHER, HEAL OUR LAND AND OUR PEOPLE - MALAYSIA!

It takes a great tragedy to make a person realize how much one might take a treasured part of one's life for granted. For me, it has happened this year in 2014 - of how much love I have in my heart for the country I was born in. I have now lived more than half my life out of Malaysia - yet my heart belongs to my country. It is where I remember the earliest, simplest and joyful moments of my innocent childhood, of my parents and siblings when we were all young...when childhood past-times were often played outdoors climbing trees, riding bicycles/running up and down steep slopes (and often ending up in the drains with bruised and bloody knees and ankles!) and jumping off our family garage pretending to be Superman with our neighbourhood friends!  I still remember the joy of Hari Raya Puasa, Chinese Lunar New Year, Deepavali and Christmas as days of joy when all of us schoolmates regardless of race or faith greatly looked forward to - for we all visited and celebrated these festivities together! The great times I had with schoolmates regardless of the colour of our skin or of our faith. This is the Malaysia I treasure in my heart till today - the Malaysia that over the past twenty-five years or so have become a distant, blurred memory due to elements of society who seek to create hatred, fear and religious division within the social and multi-racial fabric of Malaysian society - our country that once took great pride in the concept of "MUHIBBAH" which is the Malay word for "Harmony". 

All I read on the Internet these days are things I wish I never had to read about - of making Malaysians of different races and minority faiths to feel that we do not belong! Well, then, were not our parents and families and many friends of mine in Malaysia paying the same taxes and toiled their best to make Malaysia a success for their children and grandchildren? Was there only one race and faith that brought about the development of our country? To be frank, I have increasingly felt relieved that I am no longer living in Malaysia. It seemed in such a depressing state of affairs - with a weak, uninspiring government and a free-run for "fools" getting plenty media coverage to cause ever-increasing disharmony and disrespect and fear among the Malaysians of different races and faiths.

Well the double air tragedies of MH 370 and MH 17 have shocked the world and more so Malaysians of all walks of lives and faith. These shocking and unbelievable air tragedies have finally brought every Malaysian together - united in grief and prayers! How truly, truly tragic that it is only with millions of tears and nearly 500 lives lost that we, Malaysians, could once again feel united regardless of our race or faith.

I know I was personally shocked when I first read on the Internet the disappearance of MH 370 and all the great confusion. It is even now unimaginable to me what the grieving families are going through. When I read on the Internet once again the Breaking News that another Malaysian Airlines aircraft - MH 17 - was shot down by a ground-to-air missile over Ukraine, I recall feeling numb and very distraught. Why? Why? What is happening to my country, Malaysia? Being an ex-airline staff, I could somehow imagine what the Malaysian Airlines management and staff must be going through. The service on-board Malaysian Airlines is one of the best in the world - they are always friendly, courteous and helpful. All of us Malaysians should take pride as they were our "Ambassadors" in the skies.

I could not concentrate on my work for a couple of days...I had this question running through my mind and heart - "What is God asking of us Malaysians? What can we learn from this? How can we move forward by not giving up?" For the Christians, there was the added issue of the word "Allah" being banned from being used in the Malay-language bibles read by the indigenous people of East Malaysia and in the Holy Mass that was celebrated in the national language. This issue has been going through various rounds of the Malaysian judiciary - with as yet no clear ruling that applies across the whole of Malaysia (both East and West Malaysia).

As I closed my eyes and prayed for some words of spiritual consolation, I "felt" these words in my heart - "Pray! What is important is for everyone of you to pray to God for Malaysia, your country and your people. It is the only way." At that point, it really dawned on me  - how many of us Malaysian Catholics - bishops, priests, religious, lay people have made it a point to pray daily in front of the Blessed Sacrament for an hour a day  and also to intercede for all that our Catholic Church is going through?  How many of us are offering and celebrating daily Holy Mass for the Protection and Blessing of our Catholic Church in Malaysia? Are most of us like "Martha" caught up in activities instead of being discerning like "Mary" who had chosen to do the right thing -  sitting at the Feet of Jesus and listening to Him? Are our priorities right? We need to search our own hearts - what are we really doing for our Malaysian Catholic Church?

We, as Catholics, have failed to turn  to God  in our time of need! We need to get our priorities right. As people of God, there is no point in winning the battle through the legal route only  - we need to win the spiritual war and that is gain justice for our religious freedom on the wings of all our prayers! in the spiritual warfare we are facing, it is a time for prayer and fasting - seeking God's Will to prevail for the peace of our nation, Malaysia. Are there any 24-hour Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration prayer room that has been set up so Catholics in each city can come to intercede not just for Malaysia but for all the countries facing wars and persecution e.g. Iraq, Syria, Palestine and so forth 24 hours a days? Are there any parishes in Malaysia willing to do this for the Glory of our Lord? There are so many needs of the world, of our country and of personal intercessions to be lifted up to God. I truly believe that a "prayer of intercession" is the greatest gift we can give to others - for  the power of our prayers can  go forth to the farthest corner of the world!

Let us, in this time of national tragedies and darkness, become a "People of Grace & Light". As we pray for God to heal our land, may He give us, Catholics, the grace to have a heart that is willing to intercede with great love for all Malaysians and nations around the world to live in joy, peace and harmony. We all believe in a God who loves all mankind. It is impossible for our One True God who created all mankind to be partial - everyone of us is a child of God! 

Please do listen to the soul-touching YouTube music video "LORD HEAL OUR LAND" by Jamie Rivera which is at the top of this post. It is a beautiful prayer song. May God's Spirit  empower us!

"In the same way your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven"

(Matthew 5:16)