Christmas - the season that I love the most is here again! Usually I would have been very busy in the run-up to the Christmas Midnight Mass but it seemed that it would not be quite so this year - or so I thought. And then I got the news that my mother was hospitalized in Penang, Malaysia! Within a few hours, I was on a flight bound for Singapore where I would have to buy a ticket to fly on to Penang.
I had time to think of all the Christmases I had with my family - how Christmas was always so special especially when I was with my parents and enjoying all our family Christmas traditions and my Mum's wonderful cooking! Yet, it is now my 11th Christmas away from my immediate family and friends and how I used to spend the season of Christmas.
Have you ever stopped to wonder how you have celebrated Christmas in different stages in your life? Have you ever pondered what the meaning of Christmas means to you as the years go by? Well I have. :) As a child, it was always a season of wonder - new clothes, presents, going for midnight mass where everyone was dressed in new clothes and the church seemed so different and beautiful with Christmas decorations at night! Then there would be the Christmas carolling and the Nativity Play....it was just a special experience as a child. What's more my parents and siblings would all be in a joyous mood getting ready for church and the celebration when we came home! As a student overseas, it was more about Christmas parties and being with friends during the festive season. It was a carefree time for me and my circle of friends. Christmas was about celebrating friendships though I would miss my family terribly on Christmas Day. I would always cry after I called home. In those days, I could only call home on special occasions and Toronto, Canada seemed like a million miles from my hometown in Malaysia. When I was working in Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong, I made it a point to drive/fly home by Christmas Eve - where I spent the entire day before the Midnight Mass making a crib and decorating our family home and our dogs' home too! I remember I only did not go home once...when I went to be with one of my brothers in London, England. For me, I always wanted my Christmas to be with my parents - seeing the joy in them was what made Christmas so special for me.
Well, since 2004, I have been here in Divine Retreat Centre for Christmas. Why did I do so? I just felt strongly it is a time to bring some joy and cheer to the residents (especially the orphan children!) of all the Divine Homes run by Divine Charitable Trust with Christmas goodies! For me personally, it is the deep vivid joy and and peace I experience celebrating the very special Presence of Jesus here in Divine. Christmas and other Church liturgical celebrations are often so vibrant and meaningfully celebrated here. It is not about presents and lots of fine dining and visiting friends and relatives anymore for me. Now Christmas helps me treasure all the wonderful gifts God has given me - my family, good friends, good health and so many interesting and challenging experiences through our mission. More importantly, with each Christmas here, I am learning to treasure the Spirit of Christmas in my heart every day - not just for this holy Christmas season.
Today, as I was listening to the morning mass homily by our director, something truly struck my heart. Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C. was sharing about what Christianity really is about. Father said, "Christianity is not about rules; it is not about following laws. Christianity is about the splendour of the Holy Spirit working in our personal lives and in our communities." I just felt my heart and mind react deeply hearing these words. I am sure I have probably heard Father share this point before but for some reason, today, it touched my soul. Have I truly appreciated the splendour, the awesome wonder of Jesus my Saviour, my King, my God, coming so humbly into my wretched heart each day especially Christmas?
I felt a quiet joy and gratitude to God despite having had to leave my Mum just before Christmas. What a beautiful gift I did get when I least expected it! I had spent eleven days with my mother - experiencing her great love and being with my youngest sister who flew in from Melbourne for about 6 days to help care for my Mum too. This was a precious "early" Christmas gift Jesus gave us - a special time together. As I was saying goodbye to my Mum, my heart was filled with an inner peace, seeing with my own eyes, the deep joy, serenity and inner peace that is so visible in my Mum. We worry endlessly how she is because most of my siblings and I live in different countries. This Christmas season, Jesus was showing me in a very tangible way, He was taking care of my mother - more than any of us can humanly do so! It was about learning to let go of my human fears and truly understanding that Christmas is all about God's True Love coming into the world and waiting to enter our hearts. I saw this "Heavenly Treasure" become a reality in my mother. I realized with profound humility how much my mother is loved and being protected and cared for by Jesus. My mother's peace and quiet grace of all that she is going through in this period of her hospitalization and recuperation has somehow brought an acceptance and peace into all her children's hearts too.
Often the love of our parents and siblings are the closest examples of the true meaning of Christmas. It is not of being always physically present (though that matters too!) but of taking the time to reach out and keep in touch daily with my mother who treasures these daily contact with her children. I thanked God many times for WhatsApp and Skype these past few weeks. Otherwise, I would have had a huge bill keeping in touch with my siblings! I look back with gratitude to the family get-together we had after over 18 years last September in Penang. I have had joyous fellowship shown to me by some close friends when I came back to Singapore and Kuala Lumpur this year. And most of all, I have felt the love of being part of the Divine-Potta community. It is hard to explain because it is not like your own family yet we are still "family" - an inter-twined, extended family of God! We do have our differences but we are closely united in our love to serve Jesus through this Divine-Potta mission. There is another great blessing from God. We are uplifted and affirmed meeting so many wonderful people from around the world and India who are transformed by our mission's evangelization and charitable efforts. They go forth to share the treasure they discover here - "the true Spirit of Christmas" - which is opening our hearts to the Presence of Jesus in our daily lives.
My prayer this Christmas is for every person in the world to live in good will with one another - to treasure the Goodness of God in every person. For those we have difficulty loving, I pray each of us to receive God's grace to pray for them and for ourselves too!
For the Presence of Jesus to be truly tangible in us, the change begins first with me! May the Spirit of Christmas burn brightly in our hearts always.
The YouTube music video above - EMMANUEL HAS COME by DON MOEN is a beautiful hymn of what the true Spirit of Christmas is.
Wishing all my family, friends amd readers of this blog a
Blessed, Joyous & Holy Season of Christmas!
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