Monday, 27 May 2013

"...GO INSTEAD WHERE THERE IS NO PATH AND LEAVE A TRAIL." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I keep expecting that in some point of my life that I will reach THE point where I just want a peaceful, comfortable life – no surprises, no big risks but stability and security…just living within a comfort zone with relative happiness.  I remember when I was in my 'twenties’, my older colleagues at work would tell me, I would lose all my “idealistic fervour”, as they termed it, about how  I lived my life and forgetting about big  personal dreams to achieve within the next twenty years. J  I was often told – “The realities of life will drain you, Susan – you will just become like the rest of us.”

Well, I did think my life was moving along a trajectory where at my present age, I would be set for a reasonably comfortable life upon retirement. Obviously I did not take into account God’s Plan! First I made a decision 9 years ago that I never thought I would ever make in my lifetime – to quit my career and choose to serve fulltime in a ministry AND more so in India! I was never known as a devout Catholic (though my parents certainly were!) and I rarely served in any Church ministries except for 3 years in Singapore. Looking back, I cannot believe I actually made the decision – a monumental one that it literally seems like I have led 2 “different“ lives in this lifetime. I would never have had the courage without the Power of God's Spirit guiding me.


All of us struggle to discern correctly what is God’s Plan for our life – "Can we live it?  Is it possible?" All I know is in these 9 years, I have always had doubts – not in serving fulltime – but in whether I was the “right person” and if God would choose someone like me to be in this mission. I seem more suited for the corporate world and I often felt like a “square peg in a round hole" here. The question I asked God in prayer many times was - “God, why me? Did You make a right choice?”  I can only imagine God is used to hearing this question from millions of us – His children here on earth!  A priest once told me having doubts was a good sign because it meant I was truly searching and seeking to serve in a deep, committed way – what was important was my faithfulness to serve with full commitment and that in itself would be very pleasing to God. God will then use me according to His Will.

This Easter and my vacation has been a blessed time of personal revelation for me. I realize that for God there is NO CUT-OFF point when I will no longer be of “effective use” to do His work. For Jesus, all He asks for is my choice - made in my own free will - to live for Him. There is no retirement date in serving God. It is a life-long  mission! That is ALL that Jesus wants from each of us – the willingness to answer His Call to our hearts. We do not need to rationalize or try to find a logical way of how we can fulfill a mission God has chosen us for. It is often said, “God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called.” We can certainly see that so vividly in the lives of the Apostles and early Christians! I am often strengthened by Our Lord’s Promise – “Do not be afraid – I am with you.” (Isaiah 43:5)


As I look back to my past and even to the future of what I feel called in my heart to do, God’s Plan seems quite impossible. Yet, I have never failed in fulfilling the mission work that I had felt personally called to do – despite the lack of practically every resource needed at the start! All I would do is pray and believe in the “YES” I gave to Jesus’ Call. Once I said “YES”, I never ever doubted or even thought of failure in the mission project. The rest is for God to do through me and all the other hearts He would have to touch and inspire so that together we lived and answered His Call. “This is impossible for man but not for God; everything is possible for God.” (Mark 10:27) – I truly have experienced EVERY single time the fulfillment of this Promise of God when I said YES!

A Psalm I love and often pray is Psalm 121 which starts with “I look to the mountains; where does my help come from? My help will come from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.“ (Psalm 121:1-2)  I know that what God wants of each of us is to answer willingly and courageously the Call He places in our hearts – to dare to say YES! Then we have to believe and trust in His Power in us – “It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20)

I have been inspired by Pope Francis’ homilies – and His Call for New Evangelization is very compelling.  Our Holy Father Is definitely challenging all Catholics – yes that is you and me - to stop being part of a “sleeping giant” Catholic Church but to live with evangelistic fervor! I would like to share excerpts of two recent Homilies of our Holy Father on 20 May 2013 and 23 May 2013 respectively.

Homily Excerpt of 20 May 2013
The Bishop of Rome underscored the need for letting one’s self be guided by God. He reflected on St. Peter's vision of “the sheet with all the animals,” when Christ told him to eat non-kosher foods, Christ having made them clean.

Though St. Peter was at first reluctant and did not understand, “some non-Jews came to call him to go into a house, and he saw how the Holy Spirit was there.”

“Peter was guided by Jesus to reach that first evangelization to the Gentiles,” Pope Francis said. “Be guided by Jesus' own leadership,” he urged.

“We cannot become starched Christians, too polite, who speak of theology calmly over tea, we have to become courageous Christians,” he said.

Click on link below for full article:

Homily Excerpt of 23 May 2013
Pope Francis reflected May 23 on Jesus Christ's exhortation to be “salt of the earth,” warning that Christians who do not live their faith become “flavorless salt” and are fit to be museum pieces.

“We can show the salt: this is my salt – and how lovely it is! This is the salt that I received in Baptism, this is what I received in Confirmation, this is what I received in catechesis,” he said. “But look: museum-piece Christians! A salt without flavor, a salt that does nothing.”

The Pope’s comments came in his homily during morning Mass at the chapel of St. Martha's residence in the Vatican, Vatican Radio reports. The day’s gospel reading, from the Gospel of Mark’s ninth chapter, contains Jesus’ question to his disciples: “if salt becomes insipid, with what will you restore its flavor?”

Click on link below for full article:
CNA: Pope Francis Urges Christians Not To Be Museum Pieces


I was very inspired by a parish mission mass and Eucharistic Adoration for Youths by the Emmanuel Community Fathers and lay members in Germany recently.  It was a beautiful, soul-touching night in God's Presence with a big turnout of Youths! I did not understand German but my soul experienced the tangible Presence of God in the Blessed Sacrament and true joy and peace in the beautiful, melodious  hymns by the German Youth choir.  In my heart on that night (04 May 2013), I was being personally affirmed that NEW EVANGELIZATION initiatives are crucial - it will produce a harvest for God but some of us must be willing to help sow the seeds!

Well, do we want to be known as “Starched Catholics” and “Museum Pieces”? We need to be an integral part of the New Evangelization of our Catholic Church.  I found the YouTube video below, Motivational Quotes – Reach Your Goal, inspiring and along with our prayers and guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can achieve the goals Christ places in our hearts and have joyous lives!  


Tuesday, 30 April 2013

"PEOPLE WHO HAVE HOPE LIVE DIFFERENTLY" - Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI

There has been much to keep our Catholic faith in the global news since the papal conclave that chose Pope Francis as the Holy Father. Two great virtues were exemplified in the unfolding of the unexpected resignation of Pope Benedict XVI and the selection of Pope Francis.


Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI showed the strength of his faith by listening to what he felt was the Message of God to his heart - and exemplified true humility in being detached from "power" of his papal position to now lead a quiet life of prayer for the needs of the world. It must have taken immense personal courage to take this decision which had not happened in over 6 centuries. For me, as a lay person, it brought home with great clarity the importance of everyone who serves in any capacity in our Lord's ministry to always listen to God's clear prompting in our hearts...and to follow it! We must have the inner personal courage to do what God wants of us not what the world expects of us. 
Pope Francis truly inspired and brought a deep conviction into my heart as I watched on the Internet his first appeareance on the papal balcony in St. Peter's Square. Just seeing the thousands of people there and hearing his first simple words to the world. "Bueno sera" and then asking the people to pray for him touched my heart greatly - as I sat watching in front of my PC in India thousands of miles away! We were all witnessing such genuine humility and by his choice of name - our Holy Father's clear sign of his love for the poor - that the Church's focus is reach out to all those in need to know and experience the Love of God!

With all these amazing going-ons happening in the Vatican, the Season of Lent and Holy Week became a special opportunity for me to pray more intensely to live a Spirit-filled life.  Am I offering the best of my efforts as a lay Catholic in being part of the NEW EVANGELIZATION? This had been the clarion call from Blessed Pope John Paul II to all Catholics and then also the challenge from Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI to all of us when he declared the Year of Faith. And Pope Francis reiterated this call too. 

It is often said that "actions speak louder than words" and Pope Francis has shown us what he wants the Catholic Church to be. It is not to be a church of "rigid heirarchy" and "traditions" - it is a reaching out to the world in simplicity with Christ's Love spontaneously flowing from our hearts! I felt many emotions as a lay Catholic and I also read many online articles of what so-called "experts" were saying Pope Francis should do to make the needed changes for the Catholic Church. Yet, Pope Francis did not bother with what was being said or expected of him. It was very clear seeing/reading of all his heart-touching acts he did from the moment he came onto the balcony the first time just dressed simply in his white papal vestments only! 

All I can share is how moved I am by Pope Francis and what is his vision of the NEW EVANGELIZATION. I feel re-energized by the Holy Spirit to dare to give my all in whatever God is asking of me. Many Catholics like me are feeling inspired with hope for a revitalized Catholic Church! But for that to happen, we cannot just expect Pope Francis and the cardinals, bishops and priests to bring about the change. Every one of us must be willing to dare try new initiatives and efforts in NEW EVANGELIZATION for the Glory of our God!  I realized I did not need to worry or fear about my human limtations but to have faith in this Promise of God's Word -  "because God is always at work in you to make you willing and able to obey his own purpose." ( Philippians 2:13)

We are called to be saints. Well, I used to often think before that saints are some "practically perfect" human beings so there was NO chance for someone like me to even imagine I could ever be a saint! Yet, as I read and learn about saints, I have realized it is their extraordinary love for Jesus and most of all their willingness to do anything for the Love of God - to be His witness and to make Him known to others that is so amazing.

Am I doing that? Well, I may have thought I was doing all I could possibly do in my present circumstances but God has His own plans and I am ready to take the step of faith - to have the courage to dream and dare to answer the Call of God in my heart.



Pentecost is in a few weeks and as I am currently on vacation, it has been a time  of relaxation with much solitude to truly enjoy the beautiful creations of God. There is so much beauty all around the world - yet often I just take it for granted. These past few weeks, I feel like St. Francis of Assisi as I "treasure" seeing all the animals and birds living happily enjoying springtime...indeed, the Presence of God all around me is unmistakable!


The YouTube music video below is a collation of Inspiring Quotes of Holy Men and Women of God set to the music "THE LIGHT IN ME" sung by Brandon Heath.

Are you ready be empowered by God's Spirit to reach out to others in this Year of Faith?

May we be willing instruments to initiate efforts to spread goodwill  to the world!

"What is impossible for men is possible for God."
(Luke18:27)

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

2013 RETREAT REFLECTION - IF LOVE IS WHO I AM....


Whenever I sing the lyrics of the hymn. "As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longs after Thee", I am always reminded that my heart is always yearning for more. It has made me often wonder - more of what? This year our annual Divine Volunteers Retreat was held from 14-17 February 2013. The start date brought back many intense memories for me. It was on that day that I attended my very first retreat in Divine Retreat Centre 15 years ago - 14 February 1998. Prior to the start of this retreat, I was asking myself if I was truly answering the call I felt in my heart  after that very first retreat.

Rev. Fr. Rex Pai SJ was our retreat director - an incredibly warm, loving, inspiring priest who was a former Provincial of the Jesuits in India (in charge of national matters). I was still not well and very anxious if I could actually last through the 3 1/2 day retreat. The first  hour of the retreat dispelled all my doubts. Fr. Rex's simplicity and clarity  in sharing the Ignatian spirituality of how we should live our lives was so simple - yet it was deeply profound! It is about our positive attitude to living a Christian life of love. We were made to visualize many different moments in our lives - was Jesus present? Ultimately, I learnt one thing from the very first day of this retreat - How am I living every moment of my life - am I rooted and grounded in God's Love?  I need to be conscious of this every moment of my life.

For those of us in full-time ministry (or me at least!), we can get lulled into feeling we are living for Christ. Well, the more I reflected on my life since that incredible day 15 years ago, I know how much I have had to "unlearn" about the way I used to live.

Jesus is all about LOVE. There are time I hear others emphasizing God is perfect justice when they judge others and show their disapproval. There is one thing that always strikes me - what Fr. Augustine, our Director, often shares during the weekly retreats, "If our God is a God of Justice, then NONE of us will have a chance. God is more than justice. He is Mercy!" The very first time I heard this words, it shook me. For I have judged and condemned people I do not like. Where would that leave me during Judgement Day? It has not  been easy for me - it has taken me these last four years to learn to bless and pray for everyone especially those who seemed like a "thorn" in my life. I needed to see others through the Eyes and Heart of God - of what each of us is to Him - "You are precious to me." (Isaiah 43:4) It was VERY difficult at first for me to pray for God to bless those who had hurt me or were making my life difficult but now I feel more inner peace choosing to learn to live this way.

I am not saying one should not be corrected and that we just leave everything to "soft" love and never speaking up. We must always have courage to speak up for Christ! Indeed, while it has been not easy to hear of my own personal failings, I realize that it is only when I am corrected with love but without condemnation, that I turn more to God. At times, I used to wonder how come it seems that God is always correcting me each year but others I know have not been corrected even once? Well, all my moments of self-pity are of the past! I thank God He loves me enough to send wisdom-filled and loving Catholics to help me strive to be a better Catholic.  Now, I am far from saintly like Mother Mary or St. Paul or all the Apostles nor do I yet have that IMMENSE Love they have for Christ. But  that IS my life' s goal - to share this great Love for Jesus with others!

I often remind myself that EVERY ONE of us is a sinner - and to God 'a sin is a sin'. A sin is a breaking of our personal relationship with God. So none of us have the right to judge and condemn others and make statements that "God will punish you and I do not approve" to others.  Two Word of God reminds me of who I am in front of Jesus:

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."
(Matthew 7:1-2)

"And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to then,"Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."
(John 8:7)

No amount of justification on our part ever makes us right to judge and condemn a person in an uncharitable act lacking in love and mercy. We can judge the act but never the person. When I look at my own personal failings, I can only wonder at my Jesus who can still love me and give me the privilege to serve Him. In my many moments of personal reflection, I despair at times that I never seem to achieve the "Christian" ideal of living for Christ. There are days when in my heart  I am crying out in frustration, "Jesus, why did you choose me to serve here out of over 6 billion people in this world? I never asked to do this! Look at me - I have failed as I cannot love like You do!Why me? Could you not just leave me alone?" Of course, very often, it is just silence and later I often imagine Jesus gazing at me thinking - "Why do you not learn, Susan? Look at Me - Susan! I have only ONE thing to say to you - "I love you." In my moments of sadness and my failures and weaknesses, I often experience God's Love for me through others, through homilies or just through emails, articles or even an unexpected phone call! I really felt so in this annual retreat too...that Jesus was reigniting that "special, exciting and burning Love" that inflamed my heart, my mind and my soul for Him 15 years ago in my very first Divine retreat. 



When I watched Pope Francis being introduced to the world on the Internet, in my heart, a burning question I had about the Call I first felt 15 years ago was finally answered. I felt a great peace of what I am to do. It was as if the Holy Spirit  which was upon the new Pope and all the the people in Vatican had also illuminated my heart after years of questions, doubts and searching. My very first impression of Pope Francis was the simplicity, the "lack of airs" and his genuineness that shone through.He just seemed so fatherly and warm - the whole world saw it! Immediately on the Internet, all the reports were commenting about the difference between Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Francis. But that is also wrong! God decides what Shepherd we need to guide our Church in that period of time. While my heart did not react with a "personal" love for Pope Benedict initially like it did for Pope John Paul II and now for Pope Francis, I know how much Pope Benedict's writings, Encyclicals and Papal messages have really enlightened and strengthened my faith. I pray with love for our  Pope Emeritus - he showed great courage and humility in listening to God's Voice in his heart. 



Pope Francis seems the embodiment of what our retreat director Fr. Rex Pai SJ was trying to teach us - having a positive attitude in life that  brings joy. That was the first thought that came in my heart watching Pope Francis. He too is a Jesuit like Fr. Rex and both of them exuded the simplicity, "warm pastoral" love, and clarity of God's teachings in such a personal way - I would personally encourage loved ones to experience the Ignatian Spirituality too. The open way the crowds are reacting to Pope Francis is because of his warm, spontaneous, personal, fatherly love towards them. I look at Pope Francis and he really does not seem like many of the Bishops and senior clergy I have met. They seem so set apart and distant. This is what our Church indeed our world needs! A person who loves. There is no greater message or inspiration that Pope Francis can exemplify to us. We should not expect the Pope to lead our Church to a vibrant, energized approach to New Evangelization while we as individual Catholics remain unchanged.

So my quest this year as I reflect on all that I have learnt in my recent retreat is simple - If love is who I am, is it visible in my daily life? Is my love inclusive, is my ministry empowered with a great renewed passion to make a difference in this world, am I living God's Call in a radical way exploring new opportunities to exemplify His Love? Or am I coasting along in my comfort zone just working among the same group of people  with like-minded values and thinking? 

Well, if love is who I am, unless I am totally rooted and grounded in Christ, I am nothing!

The YouTube music video at the top of this post, "LIVE LIKE THAT" by the Sidewalk Prophets, really spoke to my heart as Holy Week is around the corner. I heard it for the first time tonight. May the hymn speak to your heart too! 


Friday, 22 February 2013

PEOPLE WHO ARE BLESSINGS ARE TO BE SHARED!

Life is never predictable – no matter how many changes one sees in life – be it in family life, work life or in ministry. In fact over the past 4 years, there were so many changes compared to the earlier 4 years In this retreat centre, there were times, I wished things could remain the same. I have never felt that more than in late September 2012, when I heard that the Asst. Director of our retreat centre, Rev. Fr. Michael Payyapilly V.C., was being posted to Sydney, Australia to set up a new retreat centre.

“I was chosen and sent to help the faith of God’s chosen people and to lead them
to the truth taught by our religion…”
(Titus:1:1)

Fr. Michael Payyapilly V.C.
The first question I thought of was, “God, why does it have to be Fr. Michael whom you take from us here?” The second was the joy I felt for the great blessing and opportunity for Fr. Michael to begin the Divine mission in Australia! I remember sitting in my office for a few confused moments – not knowing what to feel. It is never easy to hear someone who is so loved by all of us in this retreat centre to be leaving our Divine Family. Fr. Michael came to Divine in early December 2006 - just before his priestly ordination on 31 December 2006. I was really busy on a book project but I heard snippets of someone with a booming voice preaching so eloquently as I used to be rushing back and forth from the Divine Printers office. It made me really curious as to who was the person behind this inspired preaching? I was completely taken aback to see it was this really young looking slim “kid”. I asked around and was told he was a deacon. Even then, I remember distinctly telling our director, Rev. Fr. Augustine Vallooran V.C, one day very shortly after, “Father, like Simeon, I can tell you that I have heard your successor. Please bring this new deacon back to Divine when he is ordained.” Fr. Augustine sat back and laughed heartily! Thankfully, that Is exactly what happened and Fr. Michael joined Divine Retreat Centre in March 2007.  It is the greatest blessing and gift God gave to Divine Retreat Centre in the 8 ½ years I have been here!

 From the very first, all of us were in awe - it seemed like this ridiculously young-looking priest sounded as wise as old Moses probably was! How can it be? That was all we were asking each other. We saw the same stunned reaction from all the retreatants.  I know how many times I felt my heart being pierced by the impassioned preaching of Fr. Michael and being moved to tears so MANY times over the course of these 6 years during Father’s Holy Masses, Physical Healing sessions, Inner Healing sessions and during the year-end Thanksgiving Adoration services. It was never-one off and it was not just me. The retreatants and lay volunteers were always so touched by Fr. Michael’s priestly ministry. What was it though that so touched all of us?


There is only ONE answer. In Fr. Michael, we see clearly a person who LOVES Jesus above everything and everyone else – not a SINGLE person can doubt that!  The passion and the love for Christ can be heard in Fr. Michael’s voice and seen in every moment he carries out his ministry.  Fr. Michael is really loved by all of us – not because he ever went out of his way to be popular. It was quite the opposite in fact.  I do not think Fr. Michael cared even a little if we liked him or not – he was just so focused on proclaiming Jesus and being a holy priest. Fr. Michael is one person who has never sought the limelight. A fact, Father himself admitted during his farewell speech to us.  We never ever saw him onstage during any major Divine celebration events! I used to wonder where Fr. Michael was. Often I would see him for a few minutes at the very back – where we, the volunteers would sit. We never ever saw other priests seated there with us! That really touched the hearts of all of us who serve here. This was true Christ-like humility! He was not in the least interested in recognition and applause. Fr. Michael was only on stage if he was preaching the Word of God. I always remember this words In my heart whenever I see Fr. Michael – “More of you, Lord, and less of me.” That is the MAIN lesson I have learnt from Fr. Michael. He is a beautiful example of servant leadership. A tireless and zealous priest who lives for God! Nothing and no one but Jesus!

Off the stage, Fr. Michael is not seen around much. He is very soft-spoken and seems quite an introvert usually. One thing truly stood out – Fr. Michael is a priest of deep prayers with a tremendous love of the Holy Eucharist and a devotion to Mother Mary. He lives God’s Word. There was never any partiality to a single person. He was fair, firm and loving to all of us. What I admired most personally in Fr. Michael was this – he was very upfront if I needed to be corrected but he never kept it in his heart against me! I appreciated that he would address the issue to me directly and not just keep silent. He always heard me out if I wanted to speak up too. I never ever heard Fr. Michael say, “All the others are saying…" There was never these general statements where I could never even know in what context or why it was said…after all, how can any person respond to that?  There are always two sides to a situation and in Fr. Michael, most of us found a person who did just that! He will always listen to both sides and he would pray and make a decision. It did not matter who were involved. All of us know Fr. Michael is a very fair person – a person of great discernment.  It Is the one comment I heard from nearly all the volunteers who shared with me especially when news of Fr. Michael’s Australia posting was known.  To earn this respect in such a big community here is really an achievement! It is this very quality that makes Fr. Michael so greatly loved by all of us who serve here. He is known as being a very frank, upfront person and yet a very merciful, loving and impartial priest.

Fr. Michael praying over my Mum during Anointing Service in Holy Week 2008
Living in a community, no one can live here without some sparks flying because of problems or misunderstandings. I had my fair share with Fr. Michael too. Neither of us are easy going persons. I think one of the traits we do share is we are quite intense in our personality. Yet what I always remember is the kindness, priestly love and concern that Fr. Michael has always shown me in the time we have known each other. When I heard about the death of my father in 2007, I had known Fr. Michael for only a few months. Yet in a heavy storm, he came to see me as I was packing my bags to catch a flight home. My father had passed away on my birthday and as I sat and just chatted with Fr. Michael about my dad, about an hour before I had to catch my flight, I truly felt the comforting Love of Jesus. I have never forgotten that act of love by Fr. Michael – of reaching out to me in such a personal way. I needed that. He was equally so kind and open-hearted when my mother came to spend two months with me in India a few months later – always warmly speaking to her every day even if she at times asked him the same questions again! She absolutely loves Fr. Michael and I was very grateful that he made her feel so at home in Divine by his thoughtfulness and friendliness.

There have been numerous instances of this deep thoughtfulness of Fr. Michael. He also appreciated each of us and showed it clearly in his quiet and genuine way. Many of us remember the time Fr. Michael called all of us volunteers to the front of the retreat hall on the last day of a Konkani convention a few years ago - towards the end of the Anointing service. He insisted, when those of us who were not from the Konkani section just remained standing at the back because we were not part of the Konkani retreat team, to come forward. And then Fr. Michael asked all the retreatants to raise their hands upon us and he prayed for us. It was such a beautiful prayer that EVERY ONE of us volunteers openly cried – the male and female volunteers! We could not help ourselves. For many of us, it is the first time in our ministry, we were being thanked openly with so much love in prayer. There was a tremendous healing in our hearts that day for many of us volunteers. There are hurts and pain even when serving in ministry. In that ONE loving act of prayer, Fr. Michael showed beyond a doubt his compassion and love for all the Divine volunteers – not just those in his team – but for everyone who serves in this retreat centre.

Fr. Michael Payyapilly V.C. (left) and Fr. Augustine Vallooran  V.C. (right)
Fr. Michael is now blessed with a great mission to be the 1st Director of Divine Retreat Centre Sydney, Broken Bay Diocese, Australia. As Fr. Augustine shared at the farewell gathering, it is with great joy and pride the Vincentian Congregation of India are sending Fr. Michael to be the pioneer of the Divine-Potta retreat ministry in Australia…in a another Continent!

We will all miss Fr. Michael. I felt really emotional at the farewell get-together a few days ago  (19 February 2013) as we have all lived together as a close-knit Divine Family for 6 years – and a most precious person in our midst is moving on.  Yet as I struggled with tears, I felt the same great joy as when I heard the news the first time - of the great grace, honour and blessing God has bestowed upon Fr. Michael. In his young priesthood, he is to pioneer the Divine-Potta mission by setting up the new retreat centre. Like St. Paul, Fr. Michael Is sent forth to renew, reignite and inflame thousands of hearts with the Power of God’s Spirit in Australia and from around the world! There is no doubt – we cannot wait to see the fruit of Fr. Michael’s Divine mission taking shape in Australia.

One thing we are certain - Fr. Michael will NEVER rest until the WHOLE world knows Jesus! So just as this post is dedicated to Fr. Michael for being such a personal inspiration to us in the Divine Retreat Centre, this song, “UNTIL THE WHOLE WORLD HEARS” by Casting Crowns, is definitely all about the one desire in his life!

I am quite sure Fr. Michael is squirming at what I have written so openly in this blog post but Fr.Michael is a great blessing when he was with us and will now be in Sydney, Australia – a shining light of the Divine-Potta ministry… 

God bless and protect you always, Fr. Michael! Our prayers will always be with you!

“My deep desire and hope is that I shall never fail in my duty, but that at all times, and especially just now, I shall be full of courage, so that with my whole being, I shall bring honour to Christ, whether I live or die.”
(Philippians 2:20)


Thursday, 24 January 2013

MAKE IT THY BUSINESS TO KNOW THYSELF...- Miguel de Cervantes


Exactly one week into the New Year and I honestly felt like I wanted to be back in 2012 again. So it has been an unsettling few weeks so far. Yet I felt God truly very close to me these past two days - and I feel His Love leading me to "know myself" so that I can  learn to live for Him. To really know myself, I must start  by first emptying myself. I must have the courage and the will to change myself first. I must be willing to accept It is also not about how others see me because that means I am looking to conform to the standards of the world. That is not too difficult because I can just do what pleases others to fit in. For me to live a life pleasing to God, I need to understand in the innermost part my heart, "How should I live so that others can experience Christ through me - my life and whatever I do? The only way I can fully answer and live God's Call is to "know myself fully" from God's perspective.  I have been praying and trying to learn true humility but as each year goes by, I realize that true humility seems elusive to me. Perhaps it will always be for me in my lifetime - yet I have faith that God will not give up on me.  I will continue to strive so that one day I can truly be able to answer the call God has placed in my heart.  


On Tuesday night (22Jan), during Holy Mass when the priest asked us to "paste" our whole life onto the host of bread each of us were holding and praying  before the Consecration of the Eucharist, I suddenly felt this powerful surge of "knowledge" flow from deep within my heart to my brain and onto the host! I no longer felt lost, confused and afraid. From deep within, I knew Jesus would help me to truly understand myself - to give me the strength to keep trying and to change where I needed to. I had often heard this words echoing in my heart ' "Don't give up, Susan." I know that God's Grace in us can help each of us to achieve amazing things in His Name. I remembered a book I absolutely loved reading and had re-read over and over and over again (before I returned it to the priest I borrowed it from a year later!) - Philp Yancey's book  titled "What's So Amazing About Grace?" There are very few writers who have truly touched my heart as Philip Yancey did writing about God's Grace. It gave me REAL hope because I know I am far from being a saint! I struggle often internally if I am worthy to serve in fulltime ministry - about what exactly is my call? But in this book,  the Word of God "My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak" (1 Corinthians 9:16) seem to be the main Promise of God to all of us! Yancey explores grace through real-life people who exemplified by their actions and their life, the life-transforming power of Grace in our world.

God's Grace is unmerited but if I am willing to open my heart and my life, God will pour His abundant grace into me so that I can be a blessing to others - no matter what trials or circumstances I face in life; no matter the mistakes I make in life over and over again - God will not give up on me or you or anyone else for that matter! The only question is am I willing to be the clay in God's Hands?  Will I have the humility to learn the 'REAL LESSON" of knowing myself as I am in God's eyes? Can I truly reach out to others empowered By God's Grace?

The months and years ahead are not going to be easy  - I need to learn the most difficult lesson in my life - "to know myself". The YouTube music video, "Grace" by Laura Story, which a friend shared in Facebook really captured a true snapshot of my life's journey with God. The lyrics of the song are also given below the video. 


GRACE (By Laura Story)

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.
And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me
And hold me as my Father and mould me as my Maker.

[Chorus:]
I ask You: "How many times will You pick me up, 
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your Glory, 
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, 
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."


At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, 
Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You? I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.


[Chorus:]
I ask You: "How many times will You pick me up, 
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your Glory, 
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, 
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.


As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your Grace really means.
The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You
By giving up my life to You for all that You've given to me.


[Chorus:]
I ask You: "How many times will You pick me up, 
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your Glory, 
How far will forgiveness abound?"
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, 
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."



"Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world"
Miguel de Cervantes



Wednesday, 9 January 2013

NEW BEGINNINGS


The years will never take away 
our chance to start anew
It's only the beginning now
So dreams can still come true
-Gertrude B. McClain-


A caterpillar has to go through the pupa stage to become a butterfly - it has to really struggle out of its cocoon to be the beautiful butterfly that brings colour and joy into the world! As a child, I loved seeing the colourful butterflies fluttering from flower to flower in our garden and then seem to dance in the bright sunshine. I would feel such light joy in my heart.  Today, I also realized that is how it is in life. We must remember we can be "butterflies" in different places and try to bring joy to others.

We must know when it is time to move on and make a new beginning because remaining stagnant can be detrimental to our own self-worth and growth. We may think we are contributing in a meaningful way but that may not be so to those in authority or we could be doing something out of a sense of responsibility but forgetting we must truly follow our heart! 

I met a beautiful young woman a couple of days back who had taken 5 months off to travel in India to find herself and what would make her happy in her life. It made me remember the times in my life when I had the great self-confidence to do just that. Perhaps age tends to make us settle for the safe and the tried and to live in our comfort zone and not be quite so daring about taking risks.

Well, even comfort zones can feel like a combat zone suddenly.  Hence, our heart and mind must be prepared when life has to be a new beginning so that we can try anew to be blessings to others. God has said, “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” Let us then be bold and say. “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.’” (Hebrews 13:5-6)

Writing this post reminds me of a dear friend who for the longest while is trying to discern regarding her career's direction and to answer God's Call in a deeper way. I truly hope 2013 will be for her a new joyous challenge to whatever it may be - and for many of us!

It is hard to go through change. I used to cry before each new posting to a different country  about a month or two  before I had to make the move...well, because there was always so many good friends and beautiful memories in each place I had to leave behind to start anew. Yet, on the day I had to leave, I was always very calm and collected while it was my close friend who would shed a few tears amidst the hugs and kisses. I am not sure why - perhaps because I had already cried all my tears out and usually said my goodbyes to most loved ones at home not at the airport. Most of the countries I moved to were a not a problem to live in. I loved what I did and there were always good friends  to uplift and encourage me. I still keep in touch with these friends who are priceless to me!

Well, God will not make us go through the painful "pupa" stage for nothing. For out of pain, has often come the greatest artistic, creative and human achievements in man's history. It helps each of us to take a look at ourselves - how we really are to others. Then, we have to decide once and for all - are we ready for a fresh new beginning to start from scratch - with no regrets of the past? Are we ready to aim for the stars once again?

The deeply reflective YouTube video above, NEW BEGINNINGS by Gertrude B McClain, adapted from "It Is Time For A Fresh Start" is truly worth spending a few contemplative moments as we start 2013. 



“We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him.”
(Romans 8:28)



Wednesday, 19 December 2012

SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS...


Christmas is just a few days away...I have not really got into the Christmas joyful mood just yet as it has been a really busy period of just trying to finish work before the Christmas Vigil Mass.

But at this moment, I decided to put aside all the work for my heart and mind to have a few silent moments to ponder over what Christmas this year means to me. It is my 9th consecutive Christmas away from loved ones back home. It is a very long time to be away from the love and joy of the Christmas tradition that I grew up with. More than any time of the year, Christmas  is a season I have always absolutely loved as it meant being together with family and great friends - celebrating the Christmas Vigil Mass,  to share hugs and kisses, good food, great cheer, presents and just feeling all the "love" that is in the air! 

So what is Christmas? Some friends have asked me before how I could give up all that I am used to especially during Christmas. I have often asked myself that very same question. The answer is best expressed by the beautiful Christmas song  in the YouTube Music video above - "THIS IS CHRISTMAS" by KUTLESS.

Christmas is all about Christ.  There is much to do to share and celebrate the Christmas joy with Divine's Family - here, across India and all over the world. It is a time to remember in a very special way the love and support of so many hardworking and generous people who remember our Divine mission's urgent charitable and evangelization needs - and they quietly and lovingly are our financial and spiritual partners  to proclaim the Good News everyday - not just in words but by their loving generosity. 

Being a part of the Divine mission, we all try, with God's grace, to make Christmas a very special and holy celebration of Joy - a Divine Christmas is always all about Christ! So it is not that I love my friends and family less - it is about helping to bring Christ's message of Love and Joy to our Divine Family of 3000 members who include the residents of all our charitable homes and the VC priests and fulltime volunteers and to ALL our Divine Family members across the world. 

Every year we visit many of the Divine Homes during Christmas and there is such expectant joy from everyone - the 300 orphan children of our De Paul Home for Boys and Samaritan Home for Girls, the De Paul school, the 600 mentally ill patients of Divine Care Centre , the 100 elderly women in Mari Santhi Bhavan , and the 100 residents of St. Vincent's AIDS Home. Just seeing that few moments of joy and laughter on their faces makes the sacrifice of being away from my loved ones worth it. We are all blessed with love and the security of enjoying Christmas as we wish. But for our less advantaged Divine Family members, it our own little actions here that can bring a special  little extra festive joy to their lives. For me, it is a little act of love - of bringing Christ to them. There are also people from all over India and overseas who come to spend Christmas with Jesus attending a Divine retreat. Every Christmas here is always a special holy, joyful and spiritual experience! The Christmas Vigil Mass always fills me with such hope and joy for the future. That is the true message of Jesus - He is our Lord of Love, Hope, Joy & Peace - He is not about fear and retribution.

Friends of Divine Singapore
Just last week, I had a group of friends from Singapore who were here for the Advent retreat. As we visited the Homes,  the joy they brought to the children and the residents of the other Homes was so heart-touching. The kids loved their wonderful rendition of one of my favourite songs - "This Little Light of Mine". I was not feeling too well that day but even I felt the great joy in my heart seeing Christ in their smiles, their singing, their spontaneous interactions and all the clapping to the songs at every Home we visited. The joyous "Jingle Bells" that all the schoolchildren sang along with them was the best rendition I have heard in the longest while! The Christmas goodies capped a great afternoon! They were Christ's Light - and their little lights shone and lifted up so many. To the Friends of Divine Singapore group (you know who you are) - may the joy you experienced in the Divine retreat and the joy you brought to our Divine Homes be a  special memory we will all always treasure - the bonding of Divine family ties!

Divine's De Paul school children singing along to Jingle Bells!
For Christmas is all about Christ and our family. As we strive to live for Christ, our hearts must be big enough to love beyond our "nuclear" or "blood-ties" family to include God's Family - especially those in need and to make the Good News known to every one.  There could be an elderly couple near you who could be spending Christmas all alone. Why not surprise them with a visit and some Christmas goodies or invite them over for a meal?  We are all one family in the eyes of God.

My Christmas wish for all my friends and loved ones is that Christmas will not just be a one-day festive celebration but a permanent state of our heart to love others and to express that love by our thoughts, words and deeds all the year through...