MY LIFE IS MY MESSAGE - Mahatma Gandhi

Life is a mystery...we never know what is ahead of us - even in the next moment. The longer I live, the more I realize that every moment of my life is a precious gift from God. Yet, have I been truly appreciative of every moment of my life? Have I felt that God has a purpose for every moment of my life? How do I treasure the reason I have been put on this earth? I am sure many of us have pondered at various points in our lives - "What is the purpose of my life on earth?"

We can live making excuses that we are too busy now. We can justify the way we live now by saying that one day we will really start to live for Jesus. But does anyone really know how long God has granted us life on earth?

My beloved late sister - Bridget!

The question that shook the very foundation of my life was when my second eldest sister, Bridget,  passed away suddenly 19 years ago on 28 July 1997. The years have passed by and it may seem like such a long time ago...yet I can still vividly recall the emotions and feelings I felt as as the final prayers were being conducted at our family home by the priest before we proceeded to the church for the funeral mass. I looked at the anguish and grief of my parents that day.  I had never ever seen them so broken-hearted before and I looked at my sisters and brothers and I knew I would never ever take my life so lightly again. It is only at her death that we learnt of the many charitable acts my sister had been doing - the great love the elderly and the poor had for her. None of us even knew one of her deeds to others! We did know she had a huge generous heart for the family. (After all these years, even now when I go to pray at her grave, I will find candles that had been lit for her soul.)  I remember in the final moments at the cemetery, one question seemed to be piercing my heart: ""What am I doing with my life? I was making lots of money for the company but if I died, they would just replace me with someone else.  To be honest, I had no answer then to this question that shook me to the core of my being.  I wanted to know the real purpose for why I was on this earth. It was a search that had already been in my heart for a few years. It had to be more than the money I was earning and the position and success I had in my career.  What is there to live for? Was my job and my career success the only identity that I had? Was that enough? At her death, my sister's life message humbled and inspired me.

Perhaps it take a huge crisis in our lives before we even realize that we are mere beings here for a finite time on earth and the existence of God is REAL. I knew in the months that went by, it was my parents' faith in God that took them through the most painful period of our family's lives. Most of my siblings lived overseas.  It was not easy for any one of us as we were all away from family support that we needed most. It was a time I realized how much my parents needed my support and love too. Usually it was the other way. I was the one who needed to have my parents' love and support for all I wanted to achieve in my life. 

Somehow, in our mutual grief,  Jesus started drawing me closer to Him but I still did not know Him yet. I was astounded to learn after the funeral that my parents had prayed together and agreed to surrender my sister to God according to His Will. They only asked Jesus not to let my sister suffer but to welcome her into Heaven if that was His Will. Where and how did they get such faith? I could not comprehend how in their grief, in her final hours, they could surrender a child they loved so much to Jesus. All of us knew of our parents' deep faith but it moved us deeply to see their faith in the most difficult moments of their lives. Out of the darkest moments, the Light of Jesus shone through.  My parents showed us that Jesus was the centre of their lives even in tragic circumstances. It spoke volumes to us of the Power of God in our family life. In that period of grief and anguish, I learnt all about love and how fragile, precious and important it is to treasure the life of every person I love. From that day, I am very conscious not to take my loved ones for granted.

As I look back to my life pre-Divine and post-Divine life after the first retreat, it is like I spent a life having an abstract kind of love for Jesus knowing that He is God and that He answers my prayers when I need Him. Yet, I never had the abiding faith and love that my parents seemed to have. And there is post-Divine first retreat, where I had a tangible personal God-experience. The bone-sapping mental, physical and spiritual fatigue I had been feeling was lifted from me. I did not know how much burden I was carrying on my own because I did not know I could surrender everything to Jesus. In fact, the prominently displayed bible verse that struck me upon arriving into Divine Retreat Centre was - "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)  Indeed, this Word of God came alive. 

I have always been touched by this quote of John F. Kennedy ' "If not us, who? If not now, when?" It was a challenge that touched my heart deeply when I was studying in Canada and first read it. Since then, I always felt a desire to do at least one-year fulltime volunteer work - reaching out to those in  need instead of just making donations. Each of us must give of our self to make our world a better place. It is no point only aiming to have big savings, own expensive material possessions, countless vacations and other perks seen as important in the eyes of the world. Will any of that help us to attain eternal life? Is proclaiming Jesus the focus of our life mission? How am I living for Christ? It is crucial to be aware that Jesus' Love should radiate through us. Watchman Nee explained clearly what our life message should be all about...

“Do we impress people with ourselves, or with the Lord? 

Do we draw people to our teaching, or to the Lord? This is genuinely vital. 

It determines the value of all our work and labor.”

― Watchman Nee, The Release of the Spirit

Our life has to be the message of our Master - Jesus. If we are servants of Christ, then we have no identity except His. We will only focus to do His Will and not our will despite the cost. That is what a good and faithful servant does. It is to answer the call to universal holiness in the Catholic Church.

Being a disciple of Jesus is not about following rituals / rules / personal preferences to show how "holy" one is. Pope Francis explained what "holiness" should mean to every baptized Catholic -"Holiness does not mean doing extraordinary things. but doing ordinary things with love and faith."  

Essentially, it is what Mahatma Gandhi said, "My life is my message." That is the priceless question every one of us must ponder upon- "What is the message of my life?'" 

What one learns in the mission field is that it does not matter WHAT you are doing for God, it is the motive and intention in your heart. It is what is often proclaimed here during the weekly retreats. "Love is not an emotion. It is a commitment." For that we need ENDURANCE. Do not think living for Christ is one easy joyous undertaking. Remember what Jesus has challenged  each one of us: "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. (Luke 14:27)

It is why I personally believe that there is nothing I cannot do for God if that is what He is asking of me. In God's eyes, I am doing great things for Him because He promises each of us  - "You are precious to me." (Isaiah 43:4)  I am never deterred by others telling me a ministry goal I have felt in my heart is not possible and proceed to tell me how difficult it is. In fact, if I thought like that, I think my ministry here would have ended a long time ago. The reason is, as even the Vincentian Fathers of Divine Retreat Centre will attest to, there is never any available resources  - often in terms of finances, skills or knowledge - for what God asks of us to do through the Divine-Potta ministry. The Directors of the Divine-Potta ministry are best examples for me personally to learn how I, a lay person,  can live the mission that God has for me.

The greatest lesson I have learnt in Divine is to have these Christian attributes:

1. To have FAITH
2. To have SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE 
3. To BELIEVE nothing is impossible
4. To have a SERVANT heart
5. To have a daily personal PRAYER life.
6. To TRUST in God's Providence
7. To NEVER GIVE UP
8. To THANK God for everything.

My prayer is for every one of  you who reads this post to SAY YES to Jesus' Call to you.

Do take a few minutes to let your heart and mind be touched by the uplifting YouTube music video - "I'LL SAY YES" by DON MOEN 

If we live, it is for the Lord that we live, and if we die, it is for the Lord that we die. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Romans 14:8