I am a “night owl” – according to my Mum even as a baby! She always put it down to the fact that I was born at 3.00 a.m. (well, 3.05 a.m. according to my birth certificate). So at around 3.30 a.m. yesterday, I was still up and in my office working. Then it struck me again - on 18 June (today!), it will be my 9th anniversary of serving fulltime in Divine Retreat Centre! Feeling quite incredulous that I have been here so long in India, I actually looked into the mirror of my compact powder, pinched my left cheek and stared at my reflection. I asked myself. “Do you know what you are doing with your life?”. I just stared at my reflection and then began smiling. As I celebrate my 9th “Divine” Anniversary, I know ONE thing for sure. My life has been beyond what I could ever imagine before. I have not just had a God-encounter once but now a life filled with God-experiences…through all the joyful, grieving, difficult, frustrating and exciting circumstances of my 9 years in Divine
God
is still teaching me on a daily basis to put Him first – not my feelings or my
personal desires but for what is good for the mission He planned for me. I know how true this Promise of the Word of God has been in my life
– “For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I
have plans to prosper you,
not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your
prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with
all your heart and soul,”
(Jeremiah 29:11-13)
What
have I learnt here in these 9 years in Divine? I have learnt how my faith
in God is definitely much, much tinier than a mustard seed – it Is microscopic.
Well, otherwise, I will be doing miracles like moving mountains.! J God had to strip from me the layers
of my self-ego, my personal desires, my personal plans where my focus was on “what
I wanted” to learn to live for what God wants of me. it is like peeling one’s
skin off slowly– so I have had to really go through experiences that at times
seemed beyond what I thought I could handle. In my heart, I would be pleading
to our Lord, “I have had enough! Why did you pluck me from my previous life in
Singapore?…Why? Why?” Here I am not knowing what are my future plans! In ministry, there are no guarantees so it is difficult to make concrete
plans of what I will do in 2 or 5 years time. I tell my friends that for a
person who always had personal 3 and 5 year personal plans since I was a
college student, this has been the BIGGEST challenge of my ministry. I cannot
plan for what I want to do. Now, I do not have a multi-national company’s
financial resources and a really talented well-paid team of staff to execute
plans.
Here
I am in the midst of Vincentian priests and lay volunteers who have come from
all over India, who like me, have somehow answered the Call God has placed in
our hearts. It is not by our personal doing or because we are “holy and worthy”,
It is by the Grace of God that He blessed us with - to learn what “FAITH” can
do in our lives. It Is not easy – as volunteers we do not have any employment
or retirement benefits. We have no idea how long we are even going to serve
here. It is not possible to plan for these “security” buffer that would have been our
main priority in the working world. So why are we doing it? Why am I still here
after 9 years? Despite all these “needs of the world:”, I have seen and experienced the Power
of Jesus with my own eyes and in my life – the amazing healing miracles that have taken place
during the weekly retreats In Divine; the nearly unbelievable testimonies of people who came back to share their miracle healings, and the incredible number of
testimonies via letters and emails that are sent here.
I personally know a friend who was healed of Stage 3 cancer upon her return to Singapore! Her doctors were puzzled at the drastic change in her X-rays! Praise God! Another friend is still battling cancer but she has tremendous courage and peace in Jesus – by her faith in Him, she accepts her cross patiently. I have only read some of these thousands of testimonies Divine receives yearly from those suffering illnesses, childless couples, those having financial difficulties, broken marriages and so forth. Many others have just shared verbally. For anyone who thinks Jesus stopped performing miracles once He returned to Heaven, I invite them to come and experience a retreat in Divine. Jesus touches everyone who turns to Him in faith – He does not do so looking at our religion but our faith in Him – JESUS CHRIST! Around thirty percent (30%) of the weekly retreatants in Divine are non-Christians – Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, agnostics, atheists and so forth. A few years ago, I vividly recall a retreatant from Tanzania who did a few consecutive retreats here for about a month. When he finally testified one night, he shared of how he was now totally converted in his heart. He was a very powerful “witch doctor” back home. He said from now on, he would only proclaim the Healing Power of Jesus in Tanzania! Here the mission of the Divine-Potta ministry led by the Vincentian Fathers is not to convert people to be Catholics but a deep conversion of heart for every person to truly believe in Jesus our Saviour.
I personally know a friend who was healed of Stage 3 cancer upon her return to Singapore! Her doctors were puzzled at the drastic change in her X-rays! Praise God! Another friend is still battling cancer but she has tremendous courage and peace in Jesus – by her faith in Him, she accepts her cross patiently. I have only read some of these thousands of testimonies Divine receives yearly from those suffering illnesses, childless couples, those having financial difficulties, broken marriages and so forth. Many others have just shared verbally. For anyone who thinks Jesus stopped performing miracles once He returned to Heaven, I invite them to come and experience a retreat in Divine. Jesus touches everyone who turns to Him in faith – He does not do so looking at our religion but our faith in Him – JESUS CHRIST! Around thirty percent (30%) of the weekly retreatants in Divine are non-Christians – Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, agnostics, atheists and so forth. A few years ago, I vividly recall a retreatant from Tanzania who did a few consecutive retreats here for about a month. When he finally testified one night, he shared of how he was now totally converted in his heart. He was a very powerful “witch doctor” back home. He said from now on, he would only proclaim the Healing Power of Jesus in Tanzania! Here the mission of the Divine-Potta ministry led by the Vincentian Fathers is not to convert people to be Catholics but a deep conversion of heart for every person to truly believe in Jesus our Saviour.
I
have learnt to love more unconditionally; to live accepting differences; and
most of all to learn to appreciate the Presence of God in others. Each of us is
made in God’s image - "..for in God's image, God made mankind" (Genesis 9:6) - which means even an atheist or the world's worst sinner is made in God’s image! We can agree
to disagree but we must not hate others. There is one thing I am so grateful to
God for bringing me to serve in Divine, it is about learning from the
Vincentian Fathers what it means to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your minds, and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30) They are tireless in their priestly mission despite the
thousands of retreatants who come here for weekly retreats – many wanting
personal prayers and words of encouragement and guidance. They go on external
mission trips all over India and around the world. There is the Divine
Television ministry which is a 24-hour commercial free Catholic Gospel channel
available all over the world – even as an online channel. The Divine Charitable
Trust takes care 3,000 of the most needy on a long term basis. – there seem to
be endless ministry demands and challenges! Indeed, the Joy and Peace of Christ “shine” through
all the Fathers here. They do not just preach but inspire us through the way
they live. I have been humbled and am learning to live with this type of
radical faith in Jesus. Often, I struggle when I want projects to move faster
or be able to actually get to really speak to the Director re ministry work -
but there are only so many hours in a day! Who can I turn to who will help me?
Without fail, it is always JESUS!
My ministry is such that I work on my own and not in any particular retreat
section team. It is mainly Internet-based. Yes - even the Divine-Potta ministry
needs to be engaged in cyberspace as per the call of Bl. Pope John Paul II re
the New Evangelization. Millions do not ever step foot into a church or even
know a Catholic. We need to proclaim God’s Message through every path God leads
us through. I have learnt to do many new
things in Divine through the Internet that I NEVER ever even thought of before!
I had to learn how to do so through the Internet. There were no training
sessions or any other person to teach me!
Goes to show it is never too late to learn new things and to embrace new
frontiers for the proclamation of God’s Word! I spend many hours just speaking
to Jesus in my heart and listening to His promptings. I truly love meditating
on the Bible daily. And my office is next to the chapel where the Blessed
Sacrament is exposed till late at night. Whenever, I need some quiet moments to
be inspired, I just dash out of my office to be in the visible Presence of my
ever-loving Jesus! I have learnt to totally depend on Jesus – to discern carefully through prayer and
spiritual guidance what I am to do for God. I have learnt the virtue of
patience. All the major inspirations for my Divine projects have come as I
prayed in front of the Blessed Sacrament, during Holy Mass, the Inner Healing
sessions and the Adoration sessions. I have learnt to stay connected to God and
to be aware consciously that my entire life is totally in Jesus’ Hands. I have
to trust Jesus – even when I have personal doubts and fears! I need to wait and pray for Jesus WILL reveal what He
wants me to do in His Time. This gets easier with practice!
There
have been very difficult times of trials and tribulations yet the hope that
Jesus pours into my heart gives me courage to never give up – to have faith in
Him. I have been blessed knowing so many other wonderful people – both
Catholics and non-Catholics. I have so many loving friends who are ever willing
to share their talents and support for the Divine projects I am involved in –
we are united in our love for Christ. Though we live in different countries,
God’s Love brings us together. Without a
doubt, I know when we step up as committed Catholics, we can make a GREAT
difference. We are all called to be missionaries wherever we are. Our Catholic
Church is a mission church. We are called to know the Word, Live the Word and
Spread the Word!
I
am not doing anything remarkable just because I am serving as a fulltime ministry
volunteer. I am just answering the Call and Plan God has for me – just as He
has a Plan for the life each of you are leading. All of us are blessed because we are chosen as God’s children. We
cannot all be doing the same thing to make Jesus known to the world. In fact,
the Divine-Potta ministry could not have carried out God’s Call since 1989 if not
for all our loving benefactors and friends from India and around the world. I
have learnt how much we need each other and why we must appreciate and be
thankful to God for the diversity He has created in each of us. It is what
makes our life interesting, vibrant and worth living!
As
I celebrate in joy and wonder at God’s Grace for me to continue to serve here
in Divine, I pray that He will ensure we are all “rooted and grounded in Christ” (Ephesians 3:17)…and together with
each of you, my friends, we will learn the miracle of what our faith can do for
Jesus!
At
the top of this post is a YouTube music video.”WHAT FAITH CAN DO” by the gospel band Kutless which really describes
my life here in Divine!
Thank you God for Your Amazing Love!
“I am able to do all things through the One who strengthens me.”
(Philippians
4:13)
