This past month, I had to come to grips with one of my closest and dearest friends, Gillian, having to fly from her home in Antigua back to Toronto, Canada, to undergo a series of tests re her cancer diagnosis...and to start on her chemotherapy yesterday. Gillian is always the type of friend one wants to have around: very cheerful, upfront and the friend I can always count on to be there for me - no questions and no judgments passed. Well, I thought - it is high time the rest of us including me are there now for Gillian.
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| Gillian & Johann - her joy! |
The funny thing is I have been concerned and worried but amazingly it is Gillian's cheerful and chatty emails about being back in Toronto and of all her doctors and the test results that have comforted me instead! God has certainly blessed Gillian with personal courage, inner hope and faith in the Power of Prayers - that one could never ever buy with money.
The news right now does not seem too good but as per Jesus' Promise, "This is impossible for man, but for God everything is possible." (Matthew 19:26) I know Gillian has the character, attitude and courage to have a positive outlook in life to go through the long months of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation that lies ahead.
When I first got the news about Gillian's big "C" - Cancer - being confirmed, I felt really shaken personally in a way I have never felt before. My happy memories of life in Canada are always closely linked with Gillian. We are also of the same age. Being a foreign student on my own, Gillian and her lovely late mother and her two sisters welcomed me with "open" hearts as part of their family. She is still the only friend who knows all my siblings' names and also of most of my nephews and nieces! I will never ever forget the love they were so generous with towards me. In the 5 1/2 years I was there, even her dad who would fly up from Antigua knew enough about me before he ever met me personally. I had only gone home once. What is more, as a student trying to be careful with money, making regular international calls to Malaysia was a luxury in those days! I would only call on my parents' birthdays, Christmas, Easter and other special occasions. After each call, I remember crying because I missed my family and then later being surrounded by the warmth and love of the Derrick family. In essence, they "adopted" me and gave me a family environment in Toronto whenever I needed it.
What I greatly treasure of my life as a college student is that God has given me the really special grace to find a true friend. Gillian and I seem very unlikely friends if it was just judged on our interests and focus in life then. I was quite driven to get good grades and had plans about what i wanted to do in life; Gillian was so easy going and she was still in the discovery phase to find out what she wanted to do! We were very unlike each other in that sense. Yet luckily for me, Gillian's Mum thought I would be a good influence on Gillian then. :)
No distance has ever broken our friendship - even in the years when I kept moving to work in different cities, different countries and constantly changing apartment addresses! Gillian would somehow write to my parents' home and track me down. I still marvel at her patience in persevering to keep our friendship alive. It is not that I forgot Gillian but I have this terrible habit. I enjoyed writing letters but my problem is getting those letters posted. Once, we both sent a large envelope filled with letters that we had written to each other but never posted - in her case because she did not know where I was! I still have these cards and notes back home after all these years...
It is only after I have stayed put in India these past seven years that we have not lost track of one another - thanks to emails, Facebook and Skype. These days, I am really happy that I have also re-connected with some of my secondary school classmates and ex-colleagues. It is such a happy feeling to see photos and hear news of their families, travels, their hobbies and interests. What they have become is irrelevant - we were good friends before and we still are! Time has not changed that. In fact, I have truly realized that old friends are one of God's most precious gifts to me. As the Bible says - "Never abandon an old friend; you will never find a new one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it gets older." (Sirach 9:10)
I can lose everything else in life but the warm and joyful memories of my childhood, college and working days will always be vividly remembered - not by the achievements or bonuses I attained BUT but by my friends who at some point touched my life and made a real difference.
Let us not forget that relationships matter but it takes time to nurture them. Nowadays, I say a little prayer for God to bless all my friends and to take care of them. I probably may not get a chance to meet every one of you, my dear friends, personally again but it does not matter - the joys in your lives that you share with me is priceless. It often brings a smile to my face and heart!
Well, I like to dedicate this lovely music video below - "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts to every one of my friends - special blessings of God in my life - and especially to Gillian.
The lyrics of this song say what I really do wish for each of you:
My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
Gillian, we WILL keep our promise to catch up in Antigua to celebrate our enduring friendship and for me to finally meet Johann. God will make a way! Till then, you are very much in my heart...
