“Wake up sleeper,
and rise from death,
and Christ will
shine on you.”
(Ephesians 5:14)
We have just remembered our loved ones who have attained eternal life on All Souls Day (02 November). I have just had two classmates pass away suddenly within a space of 3 months. It has made me remember a time in my life when I first began to ponder what was the meaning of my life here on earth - now over 22 years ago! Time surely flies...
A strange thing happened to me in 1992. In the midst of a very happy birthday dinner party with about 12 friends, I remember looking around at their faces and suddenly wondering what was in store for each of us in the future. We were from diverse countries - England, Denmark, Hong Kong, USA, Singapore and Malaysia. Would we all go our different ways and just be like passing ships in the night who would have no impact on each other’s lives? Yet in the midst of all the laughter and jokes, I quickly forgot this sudden thought. We all had a very late night – nothing unusual in the fast and hectic lifestyle we had in Hong Kong. I had a challenging career and I loved living in a cosmopolitan city where life was so vibrant.
A strange thing happened to me in 1992. In the midst of a very happy birthday dinner party with about 12 friends, I remember looking around at their faces and suddenly wondering what was in store for each of us in the future. We were from diverse countries - England, Denmark, Hong Kong, USA, Singapore and Malaysia. Would we all go our different ways and just be like passing ships in the night who would have no impact on each other’s lives? Yet in the midst of all the laughter and jokes, I quickly forgot this sudden thought. We all had a very late night – nothing unusual in the fast and hectic lifestyle we had in Hong Kong. I had a challenging career and I loved living in a cosmopolitan city where life was so vibrant.
It
was on this particular birthday of mine, upon my return to my apartment, when I
heard for the first time, a very soft, gentle voice that pierced me to the core
of my heart. It seemed to come from deep within my heart asking me, “Is this
all there is to life?” I was completely shaken for two reasons. Firstly, the
voice was so unique that until today I cannot find the exact words to describe
it. At best, I can only describe it as crystal clear, very gentle and pure and
most of all it was soft but very piercing. Secondly, the question really made
me think deeply what the meaning of my present life was – was I truly happy?
Was I fully satisfied with my life’s goals? Am I making a difference in this
world? I could not ignore it. I heard this same voice and question repeated to
me about 18 months later during a friend’s Christmas party. Then, I knew I
needed to find out the meaning of my life – I hungered for something intangible
which I could not identify. It was nearly another 6 years before I even began
to realize that it was a "divine" prompting - "the voice of God"!
Each of us needs to take up this challenge – “What is my life all about?” I began to understand what my life should be during my first retreat in Divine in 1998. The first bible verse I read on my first night here before the actual retreat began awakened me from my spiritual inertia. “My brothers, what good is it for someone to say he has faith if his actions do not prove it? (James 2:14) It seemed so straightforward yet I had never ever thought of my faith in these terms! But I had never really ever read the Bible before either. Obviously, God was asking me a very personal question – “What are you living for?”
Each of us needs to take up this challenge – “What is my life all about?” I began to understand what my life should be during my first retreat in Divine in 1998. The first bible verse I read on my first night here before the actual retreat began awakened me from my spiritual inertia. “My brothers, what good is it for someone to say he has faith if his actions do not prove it? (James 2:14) It seemed so straightforward yet I had never ever thought of my faith in these terms! But I had never really ever read the Bible before either. Obviously, God was asking me a very personal question – “What are you living for?”
The
answer He wanted me to realize is that my life should proclaim Jesus is my
Lord. There is probably no standard way or method to do this that is applicable
to each of us. God has made each of us unique and He does not just consider all
of us merely as a group. Each of us is like a pearl in God’s eyes – He has
said, “You are precious to me.” (Isaiah
43:4) It is also why it is important that each of us look at the Face of
Jesus and to earnestly desire to find out what it is He wants of us at that
very point of our life. More importantly, we must also learn to let go of what
we may have been doing to accept whatever else God wishes us to do. We have to move out of our “comfort zone” and
be open-hearted to live and work for the ultimate glory of God. If we do our
best for God, that is all that matters to Him.
Each
of us has a distinct call and a mission to accomplish for God. What we need to
attain is the spiritual maturity to realize that we do not need the approval of
any human being to be pleasing to Jesus. What we need is guidance of the Holy Spirit
– to look at our lives and God’s call to each of us with the eyes of faith.
Only the Spirit of Wisdom will lead us, guide us and bring joy and contentment
to our life. If we work to gain approval from our work superiors, priests,
parents or friends, then we will feel discontented, anxious and even envious of
others. God’s Love is infinite. Unlike the worldly standards, God is not just
looking for the most successful or most popular people to enter His Kingdom. He
is inviting, calling and wants EACH and EVERY ONE of us to be with Him. We do
not need to be the President, the Chief Executive, a bishop, a preacher, or to
hold any other high profile position to be pleasing to God. We can be an
illiterate villager, a cleaner, a road worker, or a cook. All we need is an
open heart to do what God has called each of us to do for Him -with great love,
zeal, joy and to never give up. I am sure heaven has many unknown saints who
lived very ordinary lives with an extraordinary love for God and who did His
Will.
I
have often contemplated on the fact God has never given up on me until today –
despite the many times I have done wrong. I am still a work-in-progress in
living for Christ but I hope that one day, like St. Paul, I can confidently
declare, “It is no longer I who live but
it is Christ who lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20)
At different times in our lives, God gently guides us to learn His Will
while teaching us an appropriate life lesson. There is no instant fix-it
solution for any of us. God lets us learn by trial and error over our entire
lifetime the way to be truly pleasing to Him. The learning process may not
always be happy or successful experiences. Often, it is in the moments we
consider ourselves a failure, are humiliated or feel let down by those closest
to us, that we are being pruned to bear much fruit for God. It is in our
deepest moments of despair and sadness that we must find the strength to
somehow cling to God and not turn away from Him. As St. Paul said, “We felt the death sentence had been passed
on us. But this happened so that we should rely, not in ourselves, but only on
God, who raises the dead.” (1 Corinthians 1:9)
Otherwise, despair, bitterness, rejection and anger will drive us even
further away from God. If we place our full trust in God, He will show us how
to live for Him – slowly and surely.
God
is very patient. He knows we will fall but He will pick us up again and again
as long as we remain committed to do His Will. If we pray for God’s Wisdom, we
will have the virtue of self-control which is crucial to help us put aside our
human ego and pride. God can do everything without us – thus, we have to put
aside our self-important “I” in living for God. Until and unless we are able to
do so, we will feel insecure, dissatisfied and lacking in God’s love while
comparing ourselves to others. God has promised, “As for you, even the hairs on your head have all been counted. (Matthew 10:30) Obviously God takes a very personal and active interest in each of
us – you and me!
So
what is life all about? I believe life is about each of us consciously taking a
frank and honest look at our own lives and accepting God’s call to live our
faith. We cannot afford to be half-hearted or ambivalent about wanting to live
for Christ. “No one can be a slave of
two masters.” (Matthew 6:24) A true Christian is one who will never give up
doing God’s Will – to love and care for others, to live God’s Word in one’s
daily life and who is willing to be corrected or pruned by God for the glory of
His Kingdom. We need to be able to recognize and overcome our faults and
weaknesses and be thankful for God’s blessings in our lives.
I
do not know what God’s Plan is for me or what lies ahead. I pray that He will
grant me His Love and Wisdom to fix my gaze upon Him and not let trivial or
worldly matters distract me. I know that God has a call and mission for me –
just as He has a special and distinct call for YOU! We need to believe that not
a day in our life is left unplanned by God. Each of us should have courage,
determination and perseverance to do our best for God. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)
I
share this truly touching YouTube music video below – JUST LISTEN TO OUR HEARTS by
Casting Crowns with Steven Curtis Chapman & Geoff Moore – which best describes how thankful I am to God for prodding my
heart from being a lukewarm, Sunday Catholic to a life that has been amazingly uplifted
by His Love and Grace. No matter what, this is my only desire in life now…”Lord,
listen to my heart!”
