Friday 19 August 2011

GOD'S GRACE TO US - FRIENDS!


This past month, I had to come to grips  with one of my closest and dearest friends, Gillian, having to fly from her home in Antigua back to Toronto, Canada, to undergo a series of tests re her cancer diagnosis...and to start on her chemotherapy yesterday. Gillian is always the type of friend one wants to have around: very cheerful, upfront and the friend I can always count on to be there for me - no questions and no judgments passed. Well, I thought  - it is high time the rest of us including me are there now for Gillian.


Gillian & Johann - her joy!

The funny thing is I have been concerned and worried but amazingly it is Gillian's cheerful and chatty  emails about being back in Toronto and of all her doctors and the test results that have comforted me instead! God has certainly blessed Gillian with personal courage, inner hope and faith in the Power of Prayers - that one could never ever buy with money.

The news right now does not seem too good but as per Jesus' Promise, "This is impossible for man, but for God everything is possible." (Matthew 19:26) I know Gillian has the character, attitude and courage to have a positive outlook in life to go through the long months of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation that lies ahead.

When I first got the news about Gillian's big "C" - Cancer - being confirmed, I felt really shaken personally in a way  I have never felt before. My happy memories of life in Canada are always closely linked with Gillian. We are also of the same age. Being a foreign student on my own, Gillian and her lovely late mother and her two sisters welcomed me with "open" hearts as part of their family. She is still the only friend who knows all my siblings' names and also of most of my nephews and nieces!  I will never ever forget the love they were so generous with towards me. In the 5 1/2 years I was there, even her dad who would fly up from Antigua knew enough about me before he ever met me personally.  I had only gone home once. What is more, as a student trying to be careful with money, making regular international calls to Malaysia was a luxury in those days! I would only call on my parents' birthdays, Christmas, Easter and other special occasions. After each call, I remember crying  because I missed my family and then later being surrounded by the warmth and love of the Derrick family. In essence, they "adopted" me and gave me a family environment in Toronto whenever I needed it. 

What I greatly treasure of my life as a college student is that God has given me the really special grace to find a true friend. Gillian and I seem very unlikely friends if it was just judged on our interests and focus in life then. I was quite driven to get good grades and had plans about what i wanted to do in life; Gillian was so easy going and she was still in the discovery phase to find out what she wanted to do! We were very unlike each other in that sense. Yet luckily for me, Gillian's Mum thought I would be a good influence on Gillian then. :)  

No distance has ever broken our friendship - even in the years when I kept moving to work in different cities, different countries and constantly changing apartment addresses! Gillian would somehow write to my parents' home and track me down. I still marvel at her patience in persevering to keep our friendship alive. It is not that I forgot Gillian but I have this terrible habit. I enjoyed writing letters but my problem is getting those letters posted. Once,  we both sent a large envelope filled with  letters that we had written to each other but never posted - in her case because she did not know where I was! I still have these cards and notes back home after all these years...

It is only after I have stayed put in India these past seven years that we have not lost track of one another - thanks to emails, Facebook and Skype. These days, I am really happy that I have also re-connected with some of my secondary school classmates and ex-colleagues. It is such a happy feeling to see photos and hear news of their families, travels, their hobbies and interests. What they have become is irrelevant - we were good friends before and we still are! Time has not changed that.  In fact, I have truly realized that old friends are one of God's most precious gifts to me.  As the Bible says - "Never abandon an old friend; you will never find a new one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it gets older." (Sirach 9:10)

I can lose everything else in life but the warm and joyful memories of my childhood, college and working days will always be vividly remembered - not by the achievements or bonuses I attained BUT but by my friends who at some point touched my life and made a real difference.

Let us not forget that relationships matter but it takes time to nurture them. Nowadays, I say a little prayer for God to bless all my friends and to take care of them. I probably may not get a chance to meet every one of you, my dear friends, personally again but it does not matter - the joys in your lives that you share with me is priceless. It often brings a smile to my face and heart!

Well, I like to dedicate this lovely music video below - "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts to every one of my friends - special blessings of God in my life - and especially to Gillian. 

The lyrics of this song say what I really do wish for each of you:

My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold


Gillian, we WILL keep our promise to catch up in Antigua to celebrate our enduring friendship and for me to finally meet Johann. God will make a way! Till then, you are very much in my heart...




Friday 5 August 2011

"WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME WILL NOT WALK IN DARKNESS" (JOHN 8:12)

One never expects something to happen out of the blue where everything about life suddenly seems full of uncertainty. It does not help hearing at the same time about serious illnesses of some friends. Suddenly life seems dark, there is pain, confusion, yes even fear - and the ever infamous question, "Why?" Can a world that seemed so normal turn upside down  seemingly in the blink of an eye? Well, the sad truth is yes - it happens to millions of people around the world each day.

I thought I had been through times which truly tested me until the one crisis I am currently facing now. All the others pale in comparison! I can understand how difficult it is to be just around other people when all I want to be is alone. 

I had been unable to write any posts on my blog for a few weeks - I have to admit that it is hard to recognize joy when I am feeling troubled, worried and anxious. Yet it is in this time - in the midst of tears, frustration, anger, that I have realized the bonds of love with those who are so very dear to me. We may not have material riches but what we have is worth much more - we love each other and together; we will somehow overcome any trials or tribulations. What is needed is for us to stop being panicky, stressed and afraid. It is in this time more than any other that we should turn to God - for He will answer our prayers. In fact, I know God is very close to us now.  


There is joy even in our moments of pain though it seems rather bitter-sweet moments. Last night during the Inner Healing Service here, the priest called out my name, "Susan - Put all your burdens at My Feet, says the Lord". I silently cried for around ten minutes. It was joy - joy in knowing Jesus was showing clearly I was not alone. It was a soul-deep relief feeling the Love of Jesus comforting me though I was just too mentally exhausted and wrung out. God sees everything in my heart. I remember just sitting there listening and feeling the prayers being said. I was bone-tired and hence participating verbally seemed too much. I recalled  the words of St. Paul, "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated...It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4,7)   


Well, God always gives each of us a few people who are like "angels" to help us get through tough times even if they are thousands of miles away - it could be our spouse, siblings, children or close friends. There will be someone who gives us the courage to take one day at a time. In my case, currently it is actually one hour at a time! But the point is, we will overcome. We need to trust God and have belief in His Word  - "Do not let evil defeat you; instead conquer evil with good."  (Romans 12:21) A single candle can light up a totally darkened room!


I do not think God expects us to go and be chummy to those who deliberately set out to hurt or make our lives difficult. It is enough we do not hate them but rather allow our actions, whatever we hope to do, to be guided by our faith in God and in love. 


Let us have hope in God's Promise - "Do not be afraid - I am with you!" (Isaiah 43:5) 


I came across this heart-touching, comforting "SIMPLE QUOTES THAT MOVE THE HEART" music video yesterday afternoon. It was the little spark that made me feel I should share it with all of you - and so I am finally inspired to write once again today. Well, I do not feel on top of the world yet. In fact, I am choosing to live just "one day at a time" and knowing God will always take care of everyone I love even if I cannot do so. Why? It is because He is a faithful God who promises each of us - you and me - "If you ask for anything in my name, I will do it." (John 14:14)


"Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, 
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."
(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)