It has been a really tough few months and I have to admit that it has been not easy realizing that in every moment of life - even during painful times - God does show His Presence and there is still joy. I am finally finding in the midst of great personal turmoil the Peace that only Jesus can give to me through His Word and through the Family of God He has lovingly surrounded me with.
It is easy to get caught up in turbulent periods of our life and to lose the ONE focus we are called as Christians to have. At least, I know that I have really struggled with it. Yet, God's Word has always been in my heart and mind to sustain me until I could begin to let go of my pain and to entrust it all to Jesus. "Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end." (Hebrews 12:2)
I have no idea what lies ahead in the future for me. But to let fear of the future destroy the present I have now to serve God joyfully and faithfully is not an option. That was the struggle that I thought I should face - making a practical decision as opposed to the strong call I feel in my heart. As I spend quiet time in prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament daily, healing is taking place. The many bible verses that I had received and taken down as I meditated on the Bible is now finally penetrating my heart and soul. I guess I was too caught up in my human thinking before. Obviously, I have forgotten that God does not reside in my brain (intellect) but in my heart (faith) and we often read that in the bible about this very fact! It is when i am able to let go and let God take over that I have begun to feel the Divine Peace of Jesus' Presence in my life. Indeed, God is Love (1 John 4:16) and "There is no fear in love. " (I John 4:18)
I really do not know what lies ahead for me but yesterday as I was in the Prayer Room, I came across my notes in my prayer journal of a touching homily on 21 July 2011 that I was prompted to jot down. The priest reminded us of the following: "Human love is bound to be limited. The tragedy of life is that we are not able to look at the Pierced Heart of Jesus - his Love for me and you! We need to to know God's Promise in Psalm 27:10, 'My father and mother may abandon me, but the LORD will take care of me.' In the moment of doubts and troubles, who do I turn to in the pain of my heart? I should look at the open Heart of Jesus and live!"
Well, I definitely needed to be reminded of how great is the Love of Jesus for me and who I must fix my gaze and heart upon! I am thankful for all my friends in Christ who have shown so much love and care towards me and especially for all their prayers. It has been a deep heartfelt joy in my heart in the midst of all the turmoil.
It is certainly not a coincidence that I came across this YouTube music video "PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM" by Casting Crowns this morning. It is definitely a Divine "reminder" that I should always praise God in all circumstances and my only desire is to live my life for Him!